Page 75 of For Love & Torture
Holding his face in my hands, I kiss him and wish our kiss would cloak us from all the evil that’s out there. But I know we need more. We need help.
His mouth leaves mine and he moves his hands over mine, pulling them off his face and to his lips where he trails soft kisses all over them. “Let’s Google psychics in Portland.”
“Okay,” I say without any hesitation at all.
Before all of this, I wouldn’t have put my faith in a psychic. But now, well, hell yes I will totally put my faith in one. Things change once you’ve been abducted by a monster.
With the laptop still up, I type ‘psychic’ into the Google search engine and a list of names pop up. Grant’s eyes and mine go to the same name at the same time. A good sign, I think. “Penelope Pinkerton,” he says.
I nod in agreement. “That’s the same one I was looking at.” I click the link by her name and it takes us to her website. Her profile picture makes her look very professional. Short blonde hair hangs neatly to her shoulders, light blue eyes make her look sweet and honest. “Not kooky looking at all. She seems pretty normal. There’s a place to email her. Should I do that?”
“I think so. The sooner we have help, the better off we’ll be.” He clicks the mouse to get to that page and I type in our request along with my cell number.
Then we close the laptop and Grant drums his fingers on the case. I take his hand and hold it in mine. I know he’s worried. I know he’s wondering if he can really protect me.
“There are forces that are beyond our control. But only for the moment, Grant.” I pull his hand up and hold it to my heart. “We’ll find the help we need. Nothing is invincible. Nothing.”
“I want to make you my wife. I want you to be as close to sin-free as possible. Let’s get packed. We’re heading to Vegas.” He gets up and pulls me up with him.
I’m kind of shocked. “Grant, I’m sure the powers that be don’t give a rat’s ass if you and I have a paper that says we’re legally and morally fucking. There’s no reason to rush this marriage.”
The look in his eyes tells me he’s read too far into my words. His eyes narrow and his lips form one hard line. “You’re not sure about marrying me, are you?”
“What?” I shake my head.
But his eyes only go narrower. “You think this change in me is only temporary. That all that’s happened has pulled this out in me and I’ll go back to the hard man I was before.”
I look down, unable to hold his glare. “Maybe.”
“You don’t have faith in me, Bell.” The glare turns to sorrow, and he lets my hand go. “I deserve that. I know I do. But it doesn’t hurt any less just because I know that.”
My heart aches and I reach out to him, taking his hand in mine and pulling him into my arms. “Grant, I love you, and I know you love me. But I’m afraid that, once this is all over, you’ll look back at this extremely tumultuous time and think that maybe we should’ve waited a while. Maybe we should’ve waited until things settled down before we got married, before we made things permanent.”
“I won’t go back,” he tells me, but he can’t look at me as he says it. “I never go back. I only go forward. But I can see you’re unsure of me.” Then he looks into my eyes as he caresses my cheek. “How long, Bell? How long do you want me to wait? I owe it to you. I’ll wait as long as you want to. But I do want to marry you. I want to see your belly swollen with our babies. I want to see my ring wrapped around your finger. I want all of you. And although I want all of that right now, I’ll wait until you feel comfortable with marrying me.”
Biting my lip, I can’t believe how honest and open he’s being. I cannot believe how vulnerable he’s being with me. It’s just so new that I don’t know how to take it.
But maybe being married to Grant will make a difference to Bart. But is that the reason I want to look back on?
