Page 24 of For Love & Torture
I shouldn’t have brought her.
Jake’s slurring steals my attention again. “Dad might be innocent, Grant. Don’t you want to know if he is?”
“I went to see him. I assure you he’s not innocent.” I can see the turn ahead for the street our parents’ home is on. I know Jake and Becca live there with Jenny and her new husband. I know that only because I do come by every so often to see if they are okay. But I do so without any of them knowing.
Parking in front of the house, I see Jake’s eyes light up. “You’re coming in, right?”
I hate the thought of going into that house. Every bad dream I’ve had in the last three years has had this house right at the center of it. I can’t go inside. I just can’t.
The house is dark except for the porch light. “No. Everyone’s asleep. Just like you should be. I’m dropping you off so you can go in and get to sleep. Then I’m taking Isabel to get her car, and she’ll follow me back here then I’ll drop your car off, put your keys in the mailbox and be on my way.”
Jake fumbles with the door handle as he tries to get out. “Fuck you, Grant. Fuck you to death, you selfish prick.”
I get out to help him pull the car door open. He spills onto the street and just fucking lays there. I hear him snoring and just about kick him I’m feeling so frustrated.
Now I have no choice but to go into the house I’ve had nothing but bad feelings about ever since the damn nightmares started years ago. Fuck!
Picking up my passed out brother, I throw him over my shoulder and head to the house. Isabel jumps out and runs up with the keys in her hand. “Do you have a key for his house?” She wiggles the keys at me.
I do have one, but it’s at my place. “It’s that one there, the green one. Can you open the door?”
She hurries to get it open and follows me in. Even though the house is dark, I know my way around. Laying my brother—not so gently—on the couch, I turn to leave. I can feel the cold flowing down the staircase. I can see the shadows dancing everywhere. I have to get the hell out of here. If the things I’ve seen in my dreams ever did come true, I’d end up in a mental institution.
Isabel is looking for something though. “Is there a blanket we can throw over him? And we should take off his shoes too.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. He’s passed out, Bell. Come on.” I take her by the hand, but she jerks it away.
Without saying a word, she takes off his shoes and grabs the throw that’s on the back of Dad’s old recliner and puts it on my brother. “There. Now we can leave.”
My eyes catch on Dad’s chair, and I freeze there as I go back in time. A time when everything was great in our family. A time when I was a normal guy with normal emotions.
Against my better judgment, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, taking the home of my childhood into my lungs. The mustiness of the old furniture fills my nostrils. “I’ll have new furniture sent over,” that’s all I can say as my heart begins to race and my eyes twitch.
It has been over three years since I have stepped foot in this house. I have no intention of doing it again. Not after all I’ve seen in my sleeping head. Grabbing Bell’s hand, I take her out the door.
I have to get away from that place. I have to stop thinking about them.
Thankfully, Isabel lets me drive to her place in complete silence. No questions, no wondering about what my brother said, just nice quiet nothingness. I pull up behind her car, and she gets out without saying a word and climbs into her car to follow me back.
I sigh as I watch her getting into her car. She’s great. Like one in a million kind of great.
I don’t deserve her love. I don’t deserve anyone’s love.
But my God how I need that woman.
