Page 39 of Dirty Little Virgin
Pierce gets in, catching me breathing in his car, and I laugh as he gives me an odd look. “Don’t! I just love the way it smells in here, that’s all. Don’t look at me as if I’m crazy.”
“It’s just that I felt a pang of jealousy, as you seemed to be getting a bit intimate with the car.” He starts it up, and off we go.
“Jealous, huh? I think that’s a good thing.” I reach over and take his hand, holding it and resting our clasped hands on the console between us.
“I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not. I’m not the jealous type. I’m beginning to wonder if you’ve put a spell on me, turning me into a man I’m not.” He looks at me with a bit of distrust in his eyes.
“Some say a person isn’t who they truly are until they find the other half of themselves. Do you think that’s true, Pierce?” I ask him as I give him my best smile.
“No, I don’t. However, I do think that people can make temporary changes in each other. But they’re just that, temporary. We all go back to who we truly are, once the honeymoon is over. It’s best you keep that in mind, Jade. I may be acting in a way that you like right now, but I’m really not this guy. This is vacation-Pierce. This is the Pierce who has a contract with a gorgeous woman who he has at his disposal to do with what he wants. This Pierce has no troubles. In short, this isn’t the real me.”
“Are you faking?” I ask him, as I watch his eyes for the signs that would tell me if he’s lying.
“I’m not faking. Not one bit. I’m also not acting like myself. I want to be honest with you. At home, I can be moody. I need alone time more than most people do.”
“Do you feel like being alone now and just don’t want to hurt my feelings?”
“No, I love being around you. If this was to go on longer than the vacation, say once I had to get back to the grind of my job, then you’d see a different man. A man who isn’t much like the one I have been.”
“The man you’ve been with me?”
He nods. “Yeah, that guy. I don’t hardly know who he is. The truth is, I’ve never felt so light-hearted in my life. But it’s a high that I’m sure to come down off of, eventually. And you’re sure to be disappointed when my true self comes back to the surface, taking me over and leaving you wondering what the hell happened.”
Pondering his words, I look out the window. Melancholy fills me as I hate to think about when this will end. I suppose I’m pretending it will last forever. But Pierce’s disbelief in himself is sure to end us at the end of the summer.
I’ve heard of summer romances. They burn bright and then fizzle out, much like a shooting star. I can’t see an end like that for us at this time. Maybe because this is only our third day together. Perhaps closer to the end of the summer, we’ll begin to grow apart. Pierce will start thinking about work, and I’ll think about getting back to school. We’ll be moving on in separate parts of the world, so far away that even weekend visits won’t make sense.
It will all be over in no time at all!
Sadness creeps in behind the melancholy, sending my shoulders sagging, a thing Pierce notices. “No getting depressed about how things will end, Jade. We’re living in the moment for the summer. Letting ourselves be whatever we want to be. Not allowing the conformity of our real lives to impact our fantasy lives.”
“But this isn’t a fantasy, Pierce. This is real. Everything we’re feeling is real,” I argue.
“And as real as it is, it’s also fleeting. No one can stay on top of this high forever. No one, Jade. So, just enjoy it while we have it. It’s a rare gem we’ve found. But like anything rare, it’s often taken away or crumbles when touched. Just live for now and don’t worry about what happens in the end.”
With a nod, I agree with him. What else can I do? Argue that what we’ve found is rare and unique and he should try harder to see it that way, instead of seeing it as a thing that can’t last?
Why am I the only one who thinks it can last? Is it because I’m young and naïve? Is it because he’s the first man I’ve ever had sex with? Is it because he’s the first man I’ve ever loved?
I know I love Pierce. My heart soars like never before. Just the touch of his hand comforts me while also stimulating me, an odd combination I’ve never felt before. And I don’t see it going away as the summer comes to an end.
But he does.
The little town comes into view, and I can see the sign of a café hovering high above the one-story buildings that pepper the landscape ahead of us. “And this town is called?” I ask.
“Pecan Grove,” he tells me. “Somehow a small orchard of pecan trees has managed to survive the harsh winters here for over a hundred years. Hence the name. The Pecan Grove Café seems to be the only place to eat in this town.” He pulls into the sparsely populated area, and we get out.
The first thing he does is pull out his cell to try to get a signal. There’s absolutely no reception at the cabin. “Do you have signal?”
“I do,” he tells me as he swipes his phone. “It’s not a fantastic number of bars, but there are some. Head inside and get us some breakfast coming, I’m starving. I need to call the landlord.”
“Anything special you’d like?” I ask him.
“Surprise me. Order me what you think I’d like,” Pierce says, putting the pressure on me.
“Great,” I mumble as I head inside. I cross my arms over my breasts to keep my erect nipples hidden.
“Mornin’, girly,” an old woman wearing a dingy white apron and a mustard yellow waitress uniform greets me. Her white hair is piled high on top of her head, and I bet she’s been a staple at this establishment since it opened.
