Page 58 of Dirty News
Lila stopped what she was doing to look at me long and hard before she spoke, “Do you love me, DukeCofield?”
That word hadn’t ever been said between us. Well, it had been a little. But it always pertained to specific things, like how I loved the way she smelled. But we’d never said those three little words that everyone yearns to hear. Or that everyone wants to hear when the other person actually means it.I love youhad never beensaid.
Was I about to utter those words to the woman who refused to do a thing to help us take our relationship to the nextlevel?
No fucking way. “Maybe,” is what came out of my mouthinstead.
Her blue eyes drooped at the corners. She sat heavily on the bed. “Then we really do need to stop playing around, don’twe?”
The fact that she hadn’t even returned so much as a maybe in return had me feeling pretty fuckingterrible.
After all we’d shared? All we’d done together? How could she not have a little love for me buried in her heartsomewhere?
So I decided to give her what she wanted. “I guess we should stop then. Before someone really getshurt.”
By someone, I meant me. She seemed like she’d be just fuckingfine.
Her eyes were glued to the floor, her hands clasped in her lap. “I have fun with you. I like being with you in all ways. But we can’t have more than what we have right now, canwe?”
All I could do was shrug. “We could. You just don’t want to do anything to make thathappen.”
She shook her head, making that beautiful blonde hair move in thick waves across her back. “I can’t go stirring up the waters yet. I just can’t,Duke.”
It looked like there was nothing else I could say or do to make her understand that I couldn’t go on this way for much longer, much less forever. “Then I guess we should stop this now. No reason to continue, since I seem to be the only one with feelingshere.”
Lila didn’t say one word as I headed for the door. It tore me to pieces that she could watch me leave, knowing what we had would be over when I walked out the door. We’d never have another kiss, touch, no more blissful nights in bed,nothing.
My hand grasped the doorknob, and I twisted it open just as my guts twisted deep inside me. I had to leave; I had to doit.
But damn, it was the hardest thing I’d ever done in mylife.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lila
I don’t know what I expected when I saw Duke the next day, but I didn’t expect what hedid.
We met at the table to do the morning news, the same way we’d done the previous day. He was the normal Duke he’d always been. Chipper, happy, and charming. But when it was over, he got up and walked away without saying so much assee youlater.
I watched him go and felt the pull in my heart that begged me to go after him and tell him I’d made a terrible mistake. But I sat there instead, not wanting to make a scene at work that would lead to me losing myjob.
I’d felt drained ever since he’d left my room the night before. He’d left a hole inside of me. I hadn’t realized he had taken over such a huge spot inside of me, but hehad.
And I had let it allgo.
Someone came along to start cleaning up the breakfast stuff off the table, and only then did I get up and head to the elevators that would take me up to my office. I wanted to stay far enough behind Duke that I wouldn’t seehim.
It was just toohard.
When I stepped off the elevator into the reception area of the penthouse offices, I didn’t notice a single person I passed as I walked into my office. I stopped and stared at Duke’s door across the hall from mine. I thought about knocking but then decided Ishouldn’t.
I went into my office and meandered around aimlessly for a while. My motivation from the day before had abandoned me. Hell, I hadn’t even done my own makeup at home before I came to the station. I’d just showered and dressed then headed to the station to let them make me camera-ready.
My nails were still a mauve color—I hadn’t had it in me last night to paint them to match my dress. All I could do was think about Duke after heleft.
The night had been long, and I hadn’t gotten much sleep. What little I had gotten had been riddled with bad dreams. I wasn’t sure how long it would take to get over Duke, or if I everwould.
I’d made such a big mistake acting like things were just fine the way they were. I’d known we had to do something about our situation, but what if we brought it up to other people and that just backfired? And I was just so damn torn about going to all the other women at the station to plead my case to them. Taking away a rule that made some of them feel safe, just so I could have my way—it didn’t sit well withme.
