Page 110 of Under Her Skin
“Your hand feels a lot better than the ice pack, if you really want to make it feel better,” I say with agrin.
With a smile she keeps running her hand over it. “I really am sorry I hurtyou.”
“In which way?” I ask. “Because you’ve hurt me both ways now. Physically andmentally.”
“But how?” she asks and her brows furrow so I know she really doesn’t get it. “How could I mentally hurt such a perfect man? You could have anyone you want. So if I feel like I’m not enough for you, what’s stopping you from moving on to the nextgirl?”
“Idon’t wantthe next girl, I want you.” I look deep into her blue eyes and my heart hurts for how she thinks so little of herself. “You are the perfect girl for me,Rachelle.”
She shakes her head and looks away. “I’m not a perfect anything. See, that’s part of the thing about you I can’t take. It seems to me you’re putting me up on a pedestal. I will fall off that and you will see me for what I am, a flawedperson.”
“We’re all flawed, baby. Every last one of us have flaws. I’m not putting you up on a pedestal. I only want you to see the value in yourself. It seems to me you’re always seeing the value in others, but never yourself.” I lean up to run my hand over her shoulder but the look she gives me makes me change my mind and I leanback.
“Blake, you’re perfect. Your face is perfect. Your body is perfect. You’re the perfect height and your voice is perfectly deep and wonderful. You smell great all the time. I mean all the time. Even after making love and sweating, you smell magnificent. I wreak like an old sneaker the dog chewed on then was left out in the rain then drug through some catpoop.”
“Wow!” I just look at her with my eyes wide. “I mean, wow! Rachelle, come on. You know that’s not true. You smell great all the time. It’s me who stinks to high Heavens after Isweat.”
She shakes her head. “And what about how you wake up and your hair looks perfect? Mine’s everywhere, and yours looks fantastic. You could literally climb out of bed, throw on anything and walk out the door. Woman would still throw themselves at yourfeet.”
“I think it’s adorable how your hair is when you wake up. It’s a little here and there and floats around your sweet, little face like a dark halo.” I run my foot over her thigh and shesighs.
“You’re perfectly sweet too, Blake. I don’t know why you would even want to pursue this with me. I’m distant and moody. I don’t deserve you. And to be honest, you make me feel even more inadequate than I do most of the time.” Her brow furrows as she looks at my leg and runs her soft hand over it. “That’s why I prefer to be alone. That way I don’t have to compare myself to anyone all thetime.”
“I don’t know why you would anyway.” I lean up and run my hand over her shoulder. She looks at my hand and looks away. “You are you, I am me. We shouldn’t compare ourselvesanyway.”
“Easy for you to say,Mr. Perfect,” she says with ascowl.
“Tell you what,” I lean back and say. “I’ll get fat and cut my hair off and eat a lot of greasy foods so I can get bad skin. Then will you give me ashot?”
She laughs. “You better not do that, but it’s a sweet thing tosay.”
“On another note, have you found out what kind of grades you made on your finals?” I ask and see a little smile run over herface.
She nods and looks at me. “I made high scores on every one of them. And in my baking class, my teacher put my recipe for ‘Tara’misu in a contest and it won first place. I received a trophy which she’s displaying in her classroom and a check for five hundreddollars.”
“Wow! Mom would be so proud. I mean to say, I bet Mom’s so proud! She’d absolutely love that if she were still around.” I look up and smile. “Isn’t she fantastic,Mom?”
Rachelle smacks my thigh and giggles. “Does she ever talk back,Blake?”
“Sometimes, in my dreams,” I say with agrin.
“Her and Dad both tell me things in my dreams on occasion. For instance, they told me you’re the one for me,Rachelle.”
She shakes her head and smiles. “Don’t even talk like that, Blake. People will think you’recrazy.”
“Let, ‘em!” I say with a laugh. “What the hell do I care what anyone thinks? You’re really the only person in this world whose opinion of me matters. I mean thattoo.”
Her blue eyes twinkle as she looks at me. “Are you beingserious?”
“I am. Rachelle, I see you like a bright star in a dark night sky. You see, I was lonely but didn’t realize it until I laid eyes on you. I thought I was perfectly happy doing what it was I was doing. Playing video games all night, working out most of the day andchilling.”
She laughs. “Damn it, Blake. That sounds awesome. No worries atall.”
“I thought so. I won that money and quit college. I thought what do I need an education for? I have more money than I can spend in a lifetime. I said to myself, ‘take it easy’ and so I did.” As I pull my legs off her lap, I sit up next to her and run my arm around the back of the sofa behind her, careful not to touchher.
“And you liked it, right?” she asks as she fidgets with the hem of her blackshirt.
“I did. It was enough until I saw you. Until I touched you. Until I loved you.” I wait and let my words sinkin.
