Page 125 of Under Her Skin
He stops and turns around. “Tell you what, Blake, we can whip up some eggs and bacon just about any time you want to get up. How’s that? See you when you get ready tomorrow, buddy. Get some sleep, you look dogtired.”
He walks away and I say, “Thanks, you guy, for always watching out forme.”
I lock up the door and walk to my old bedroom. The posters on the walls are from my high school years. Hot chicks in themall.
I think it’s time to get rid of the past. I think it’s time to move onto other things. With a rip, I take the first one down and crumple it up. Then the others follow as I take my boyhood bedroom down to the bare walls and make a vow to myself to get this place fixed up so I can sell it and move on with mylife.
Rachelle
I’ve borrowed Grandpa’s old pickup truck and decided to go visit Max. My presence in my grandparent’s home set my mother off, and she started drinking heavilyagain.
It’s best to let her have the help of her parents. She needs them a lot more than I ever realized. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her about any of the things Grandpa toldme.
One of the reasons is I didn’t know how she would handle all that truth out there. She’s only ever told me lies about it all, so it may be she doesn’t even remember the truth anymore. I saw no use in starting what might have been a huge argument between her and herfather.
Curiosity has me cruising by the overpass my father lives under. I bought some food for breakfast for him. A few pigs in a blanket, a couple of sausage biscuits and a large bottle of orange juice, and apple juice, and a few bottles ofwater.
Okay, it is literally a grocery bag full of things. I have an illness apparently to help people. It’s a gift and anaffliction.
I slow to a stop. It’s pretty early I would assume for a bum to be awake. But I see eyes peeking out from behind the berm at the very top of the steepincline.
Opening my door, I get out and hold the bag up. He sits up and motions for me to come up to him. Which is most likely the most dangerous thing I could ever do, but the man is my father and I think God will watch over me to do this thing I feel I mustdo.
“Hi,” I say with a quivering voice. I didn’t realize how scared I was until I opened mymouth.
Reaching backinto the truck I grab a blanket I brought from my bedroom at my grandparents and a coat I took from the coat closet. It’s one Grandpa has had many years, and he has plenty more. I’ll let him know I took it lateron.
He’d have stopped me from coming here if I had told him before-hand. He made it clear the man is nuts and not to be trusted. For reasons I couldn’t get out of him, he thinks my father isdangerous.
With the large bag of food in one hand and the blanket and coat in the other, I walk up the steep incline to where the man who is my father waits. I can smell the urine from here and I have to fight down a gagreflex.
His eyes are a light gray and his skin is filthy. My heart stops beating as I really look at the man we all called the Round Rock, Looney. I swallow hard to get the knot out of mythroat.
Holding out the things to him, I say, “Hello, Rodney. I brought you some food for your breakfast this morning. I thought you might like an extra blanket and a coat. There’s a cold front coming in later this evening and I didn’t know if you had anything to keep you warm or not. I opted to bring them anyway, just in case. A person can never have too many blankets or coats, Ithink.”
He stares at me and the way his eyes dart quickly back and forth makes my insides tighten as if I’m getting ready to be punched in the stomach orsomething.
With a deep and gravelly voice, he says, “You know my name.” He looks past me at the oldtruck.
I suddenly realize that my grandfather had the truck a few years before I was even born. Rodney must recognize it. For some reason that fills me withfear.
“My grandfather toldit to me. Anyway, I just wanted to give you these things. Bye now,” I turn to leave as fear is coursing through myveins.
“How is she?” he asks. I freeze in my tracks. “Your mother. How isshe?”
I turn slowly back and see he’s come out and is standing only steps from me. “She’s okay. Not great, not stable, but she’s alive, and that’s something, don’t youthink?”
“She used to drive that truck you’re driving. You look like her and a little like my mother.” Tears glisten in his grey eyes. “I never meant for things to happen like they did. I always wanted her and you. I hope one day you can forgiveme.”
He’s a filthy mess of a human being and I know he must be riddled with lice and God knows what else but I have to do it. “Can I hugyou?”
He holds his arms out and I come to him and wrap my arms around him as he does me. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t be stronger.” His words come outsoft.
“It’s okay. I forgive you. I can help you if you want. I can get a place for you to live. I know people who can help me do that for you,” I say and feel my body shaking with some kind of crazy emotion I’ve never feltbefore.
“No. Thanks though.” He lets me go and I step back. It’s crazy how his stench no longer makes me want to gag. It just smells like him and that’s okay for some damnreason.
“But, this is no way to live,” I say as I gesture to theunderpass.
