Page 326 of Under Her Skin
“I can’t hear anything, Meagan,” I tell the little girl, who’s looking at me with wideeyes.
“I see. I guess she has to tell me, then, and I’ll tell you. It’s been a long time since she was able to talk to anyone. Except me, that is. I’m the first person she’s been put in charge of making feel safe with the transition. That’s because I am special,” she says with agrin.
“You are very special,” Iagree.
“What would you like me to tell him, Crystal?” she asks as her eyes follow what must be the woman she’s seeing, moving her gaze to the other side of her bed. Then she looks at me. “She wants me to tell you that she’s proud of how you, Kate, and Trent have turned out.” Her eyes go back to the other side of the bed. “Oh, okay.” She looks back at me. “Kent. NotTrent.”
I sigh and feel a weight moving off my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there before. “How is myfather?”
She looks back to where I guess my mother’s spirit is and nods. “He is fine and she sees him often, Blaine.” Meagan smiles at me. “You fooled me. You’re not really Santa. That’s okay. I’m sure the real Santa won’t forget about me, Mr. Vanderbilt. And Crystal told me not to tell my daddy about this. So I won’t. I always do what Crystal says, on account of her being anangel.”
“Good to know. Do you know that angel was once my mother?” I ask and look at the other side of the bed, longing to see what this little girlsees.
“I do. She’s not worried about you because she never worries,” Meagan says. “But she wants you to know there is another side. This world is not all there is. And you never need to be afraid of anything. Living, or dying. We are being watched over, but things happen anyway. Nothing is meant as a punishment. We all come here to experience differentthings.”
I find myself wanting to ask so many questions, I have no idea which ones to make the most important. “Can she answer any questions forme?”
Meagan looks away then back at me. “Ask one and she’ll see if she knows the answer. She says she doesn’t knoweverything.”
“Why does suffering exist?” I ask, as that’s been one that’s always hitme.
Meagan doesn’t skip a beat. “She says you may as well have asked why love exists. Why are there bees? Why are there rivers and lakes? She says, simply because it does exist, like everything else. There’s no reason to question it, the same as you wouldn’t question why macaroni and cheese tastes so good toyou.”
Mac and cheese. It is mymother!
“Can you tell her that I love and miss her?” Iask.
“You just did, Blaine,” she says with a laugh. “She’s right here. Just because you can’t hear her doesn’t mean she can’t hear you.” Meagan looks back at Delaney. “And Nurse Richards, Crystal says to tell you thank you. Thank you for caring for Blaine and her other children. She said they really need you and to please never give up on any ofthem.”
“You know it’s me, too?” Delaney asks in her regularvoice.
“Not me, I didn’t,” Meagan tells her. “Crystal knew that.” Meagan looks at me with a frown. “Is that true,Blaine?”
“Is what true,Meagan?”
“That my father’s treatment of me was one of the things that made your heart nearly go hard again?” she asks, then looks at the empty spot on the other side of herbed.
“I guess it is true,” Iadmit.
She looks back at me. “Daddy is just afraid. He’s not really a mean man. And I understand him. So please don’t worry about me or how I’m being treated. Don’t let anything that you might see as mean or unnecessary cruelty affect what you know to be true. Someone is always watching over us all, whether it seems like it ornot.”
“Thank you,” I tell her and look at the spot my mother is most likely occupying. “And, thanks, Mom. I can’t wait to see youagain.”
Meagan laughs a sweet laugh. “I know, Crystal. That is funny.” She looks at me, then says, “Time is a human thing. She said to remember that. When you see her again, it will be as if you never were without her. And she also said you should marry NurseRichards.”
“Did she now?” I ask and chuckle. “Well, maybe I will ask her someday in the nearfuture.”
“She said you better,” Meagan says, then laughs and wiggles as if she’s being tickled. “Okay, okay! You’re silly,Crystal!”
“I suppose we should get out of here. People might start wondering about us being in here so long,” Delaney says, then hands me the present we bought forMeagan.
I hand Meagan the present we bought for her. Something her father would approve of. We stay to watch her open it and find her clutching the book to her chest. “Thank you! Oh! I’ve always wanted a book to keep me company. Thank you somuch!”
“It has pictures on every page and the words aren’t too long or hard. And maybe your mommy and daddy could help you read it,” I tell her as I run my hand one last time over herhead.
She opens it and smiles at the very first page, then turns it for me to see. “Just like my angel,” she says about the picture of an angel hovering over a small boy as he crosses a bridge over raging waters, seeminglyalone.
“Just like your angel,” I agree and smile at the little girl who has so many reasons not to believe in anything, but with the help of her angel, my mother, she’s more than happy with her life just as itis.
