Page 101 of Under Her Skin
“No,” he says as he shakes his head. “No, way, Rachelle. That’s a done deal. You can’t go back on it. I’m all types of excited to do this and I’m not letting you stop me. Your fear or whatever it is, I want that shit gone. I’m not taking no for ananswer.”
“Blake, I’m ashamed of myself.” I sit down across from him and put my head in my hands. “You have no idea of how much shame I feel rightnow.”
“For?” He looks at me like I’mnuts.
“For handing myself over to you after you gave me such a fantastic thing. Just like a damnwhore!”
“A whore?” He rises and comes to me. His hand is gentle on my cheek. “Baby, you are nothing at all like that. You’re the sweetest thing and I respect you to the hilt. Don’t ever let me hear you talking about yourself like that ever again.” He takes my chin in his large hand and makes me look at him. “Do you understand me, angel? Tell me youdo.”
“Blake,that was a cheap thing for me to do. Something akin to what my mother would do to get what she wanted.” I look away, even though he holds my chin tight in hishand.
“Look at me,” he says with a commanding tone. “Rachelle Stone, look atme!”
My eyes move slowly back to his. “There’s really not a thing you can say to me to change mymind.”
“You are not your mother.” He lets my chin go and walks away fromme.
He disappears around the corner and into my bedroom. Leaving me to think about what he’s said I suppose. My mind spins as I think about the things I’vedone.
I move a little, igniting the pain for an instant that came with the stiffness from letting my body react to him. The way he filled me completely, stretching me to fithim.
Running my arms around myself, I shiver with the memory of the fantastic sensation. I felt whole for the first time ever. In his arms, with him all around me, I feltcomplete.
He steps out of the bedroom. Something in his hand draws my attention. A long, gold chain he holds out to me. Something round dangles from it and I take it in my hand to find a picture of an adorable little dark haired girl, maybe two or three years old. No smile covers her sweet face. No frown either, just nothing. A vacant stare into thecamera.
“What’s this?” Iask.
“That’s you, baby.” Blake kneels in front of me. “Max called your old foster mom. She said she had that. It was the only picture of you she managed to get. She sent it to me when I called her to talk about you withher.”
Isnapmy head to look at him. “Blake! That was not something you should’ve done! How dareyou!”
One finger he places to my lips. “Baby, I care about you. I have to know what all happened to you in order to understand what’s going on in that mind ofyours.”
“Not a lot, to be honest. Okay, not much goes on in here.” I point to my head. “I live, I exist. It’s what I do. Not much thinking or contemplating things goes on inhere.”
“Well, I want to help you fix that. You see, I realized something last night as I held you and made love to you. You need me. You need me more than even you realize. So let me help you make the future you have seen for yourself a reality.” His hand runs through my hair and hesighs.
“Ican’t.”
“It wasMax who told me that helping you get your own restaurant was a good investment both financially and in you as a person. He cares for you, Rachelle. Like a brother cares for a little sister. He sees you struggling with the same things he did.” His hand roams over my shoulder and he pulls me tohim.
I bury my face in his chest and feel helpless. “Max is a good man. I look up to him like a big brother. He and I have gone through the same things in our young lives. He thinks I needthis?”
“He does and so do I. Even if it goes under, it makes no difference. It’ll be a write off and either way, I keep more of my money than the IRS does. It’s a win, win, baby,” he says then hugs metighter.
“Blake, I…. I…” I stammer and pause. “Okay, I’ll take you up on your offer. Thankyou.”
Soft kisses he places on top of my head. “Good. Now let me take you to lunch and let me see what kind of place you want tobuild.”
My heart pounds as I let him lead me out to his car. I’ve never put so much of my life into anyone’s hands before and I’m scared todeath.
Blake
We ate lunch in Venice Beach at a fairly new restaurant named ‘Leona.’ The interior was cool and upscale but not so upscale patrons were put off by extravagancies. The food was great and Rachelle was confident she could do it a little bitbetter.
“So that’s the competition then?” I ask as we walk back into herapartment.
The locket of her as an abandoned three-year-old hangs around her neck. It’s a reminder of who she was back then, something she seems to have put far out of her mind, only I know it’s there. A deep festering sore in her mind that keeps her from really living thislife.
