Page 106 of Under Her Skin
He’s all ears for my advice and I cross my fingers I’m not going to make this situation worse withit.
Peyton
Pax chews on Rachelle’s cell phone. Thank goodness it’s in a case that’s water proof. “So he had the unmitigated gall to hold on to you like you were his possession as you slept?” I ask her as she’s told me Blake holds her like he owns her all night long. “Thebastard!”
I cover my mouth as Pax looks up at me and laughs then says, “Asturd.”
My cheeks go red. “Now I have to get Kip to say that word in front of Pax so he never can blame me for that new word that was just added to Pax’s small vocabulary.Crap!”
“Rap,” Paxparrots.
Rachelle picks up her drink and motions toward my son. “One day, even little Paxxie Poo is going to be a grown man and how will he treat women? Like he owns them, Ibet.”
“You might want to slow down on the slow gin fizzes there, Shell. Just sayin’ it’s your second and you’re kinda looking a little woozy.” I pick up Pax and hold him on mylap.
She looks at her half full glass. “How much damn alcohol did you put in here, anyway,Peyt?”
“One lid full to a whole coke. You’re kind of a lightweight, Shelly. Sorry to break it toyou.”
With a groanshe puts the glass down. “Why does life have to be so difficult? Why does the thought of a man holding me as I sleep have to make me so mad? Why is it that the thought of him never holding me all night again makes me so upset? Why, Peyttie,why?”
“Cause you want him to do that for you, sweetie. We all want someone to care for us. But letting that into our head is hard as anything. I was thinking I didn’t need Kip to take care of our son. Now I can’t think about having to do this all on my own.” I get up and carry Pax with me to go sit by her and put my arm aroundher.
She buries her head in my chest. “I love him, don’tI?”
“I think it’s quite possible you do, sweetie. It’s not all bad, I promise you.” I pat her shoulder and she starts tocry.
My heart feels as if it’s breaking for her as she says, “What if I let myself fall in love with him and he leaves me alone like my mother did. If she could do it to a little, adorable three-year-old, he could do it to a mean, old, twenty-one-year-old.”
He could, I know he could and I know it would devastate her, but what is life if you never take achance?
“Yeah,you’re right. Don’t risk it. Go it alone. Do what you’ve been doing. Leave love out of it. There was that last guy. What was his name again, Rick? Yeah. Rick. Maybe call him. You could never fall in love with that asshole.” I pat her back and she laughs alittle.
“He was awful, Peyton. I only let you in on about half of what he did. I was afraid you’d go kick his ass.” She looks at Pax and he’s already trying to form the word with his mouth. I thrust her cell phone back into his little mouth. “Oops, I mean, bobo. I was afraid you’d go kick his bobo if you knew what all he did to me. It was degrading, and I allowed it. I allowed that to happen to me. Why? Why do you think I didthat?”
Now she’s really letting me in and I can see she needs more help than she’s let on before. “I tell you what. I do think you need time away from men. Maybe someone to talk to who knows about these things isn’t such a bad idea after all. There’s not a one of us who’s perfect. Everyone needs help now andagain.”
She looks up at me with tear stained cheeks. “But a shrink? I don’t want to be labeled a nut job, Peyt. Do you really think a shrink is what Ineed?”
“Let’s not call it that. Let’s call it a good friend who knows a lot about things, helping another friend out. I’ll find yousomeone.”
She shakes her head. “Peyton, I can’t affordthat.”
“You know I’m not going to allow you to pay for this. It’s a friend helping a friend after all. Nothing more thanthat.”
The way she lays her entire weight, which isn’t much, on me tells me she needs me more than ever. She saved me once, I can help her now. She’s a good girl with a good head on her narrowshoulders.
Her words come out soft as if she’s exhausted. “Peyton, it’s just what Blake and I have is so intense. It’s as if I really do need him. My body and mind not only want him, I need him. And why does that make me soangry?”
“It just does for some freaky reason,” I say as I hold her to me and Pax runs his tiny hand over her long, blackhair.
It would be nice if life was a little biteasier!
Blake
The rain is still pouring down as I take the young woman Kip set me up with to make Rachelle jealous into the restaurant she works at. Peyton let Kip know Rachelle went back to work even though she didn’t need toyet.
Kip found this groupie, and she is hot. Blonde, short, tight, red dress and sky high heels. Not my type at all, but hot none-the less. She checked her make-up on the short drive here not one time but six, count them, six times. Reapplying her red lipstick three of thosetimes.
