Page 54 of Dirty Desires
I had been alone for so long. More alone than most, I would wager, having lived with the memory of Natalia for so long. And now I had Nina. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. But I knew Artimus was right. I had to slow down. “I’ll try my hardest to slow things down. She’ll be staying at her place this week. And maybe I’ll see if I can get through next weekend without her by my side.” I shook my head. “No. Why would I do that to myself? Artimus, I’ve been alone for so long. Why deny myself now?”
“I’m not saying to deny yourself. I’m just saying to keep the words ‘move in with me’ and ‘marry me’ out of your mouth for a while. That’s all I’m saying.” He looked at Duke, who was staring into the fridge. “Can you grab me an apple juice, Duke?”
“Sure.” Duke looked at me. “You want anything?”
“Nah. Nina’s making coffee in Lila’s office. She’ll be bringing me one soon.” With a deep breath, I tried to slow my train of thought. It was barreling in Nina’s direction and seemed unable to stop.
Artimus asked Duke, “Why don’t you drink that coffee, Duke? It’s amazing.”
“I don’t do caffeine.” He tossed a bottle of apple juice to Artimus, then opened a bottle of water for himself. “You’ve never noticed that?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t noticed that.”
“Me neither.” Artimus took a long drink of the juice. “Is there any reason that you don’t do caffeine?”
“It makes me nervous. I hate to be nervous.” He downed the water. “I’m going to go to the gym. Anyone want to join me?”
“I could use a workout.” I got up to follow him.
Artimus nodded and got up too. “That sounds like a great idea. The gym, a little coffee, and in a little while, we’ll do lunch. Sounds like our typical day.”
And he was right. That was our typical day. We pushed each other in the best of ways.
I knew those guys had my back. I knew they weren’t telling me to slow my roll with Nina out of anything but concern for my best interests.
As we got on the elevator, I bumped shoulders with Artimus. “Thanks again for not listening to me and setting me up with Dr. Patel.”
“That’s what friends are for, Ashton. We do shit even when our friends complain and tell us not to.” He bumped my shoulder back. “And I want you to know that I’m here for you. Don’t let anything get stuck in your craw again. Do you hear me?”
I had kept so much to myself for so long, but he was right; I did need to be open with him and Duke. “I promise.” And then my mind was back on Nina. “We’ve already said the L word to each other. And I should confess this to you guys: I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
“You know that already?” Duke asked with wide eyes.
“I do.” I was sure I loved her more than anything.
Artimus made a tsk sound. “Well, taking things slow certainly looks like it will be next to impossible for these two.”
I thought so too.
