Page 75 of Dirty Desires
Chapter Thirty
Ashton
“Her mother called me this morning,” I told Artimus as I sat in his office. “She’s awake.”
A frown furrowed his brow. “And you’re sitting here because?”
I had the ring in my pocket, playing with it as I thought about why I was sitting in my boss’s office instead of in the ICU waiting room. Waiting for my five-minute turn with Nina. “I do not know the answer to that.”
“Is it because you’re afraid?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I knew it wasn’t fear that had me staying put after the call I’d gotten from her joy-filled mother that morning. “It’s not that I’m afraid of anything. It’s more like a veil of doubt.”
He looked aggravated as he put his fingers on his forehead, massaging what must’ve been a headache. “Doubt about what?”
The crazy thing was that I had prayed so much for Nina to get better, and I’d thought I would blaze a trail to that hospital the minute I got word that she was awake and coherent. I would rush to her side and slip the engagement ring right back onto her long, slender finger. I would kiss her sweet lips and tell her everything was going to be all right. But I wasn’t doing any of those things.
Pulling my hand out of my pocket with the ring on my pinky finger, I held it up. “Artimus, do you think there are such things as curses?”
“No,” came his curt answer. “There are no curses. What’s the deal with the ring, Ashton? What are you thinking?”
“I put a ring on Natalia’s finger, and less than a year later, she was dead.” I moved the ring, so the light made the diamond sparkle brightly. “Flash forward four years, and I put a ring on Nina’s finger. Now, not even a day goes by before a fucking terrorist nearly kills her.” I looked into Artimus’ eyes. “A goddamned terrorist, Artimus. What are the odds? Please, tell me what they are. I need to know.”
“First of all, in this day and age, being killed or hurt by a terrorist is not that uncommon.” He got up and walked to the window to look out of it. “This isn’t the only city that experiences such things. Even if you moved to some small town, it wouldn’t be a guarantee that something like this wouldn’t happen to you again.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?” I had to know. “And how am I supposed to believe that Nina will be okay if I put this ring back on her finger?”
He turned to look at me, his face a puzzle of torment. “Ashton, you’re letting your imagination take hold of you. If you keep thinking this way, you’ll end up a lonely man. Is that what you want?”
“I don’t want anyone to get hurt just because they love me.” I put the ring on the desk and the overhead light refracted off it, making it glow. “That looks pretty powerful, sitting there, doesn’t it? It’s almost as if that ring has powers we can’t understand.”
He strode over, snapping the ring up as he growled, “Ashton Lange, you stop this right now. I won’t let you do this to yourself again. Get your ass up, take this ring, and put it back on Nina’s finger. Marry that woman and raise kids with her. Make her your family, Ashton. And put this idiotic idea out of your head. Accidents happen. That’s that.” He put the ring in my jacket pocket then took a seat. “And when is the last time that you talked to Dr. Patel, anyway?”
“Yesterday.” I sighed, feeling the weight of the ring in my pocket. “Honestly, I wasn’t feeling this way then. This just came up.”
“Well, let it just go away the same way it popped up, then.” He slammed his fist down on the desk. “You’ve got to stop thinking this way, and you’ve got to get over to that hospital and let the woman you love see your face. I’m sure she’s missed you.”
I shrugged. “She’s been asleep. I’m sure she hasn’t missed me. Maybe she’s even had enough time to get over me—who wants to be the fiancée of a man whose fiancées keep dying? Maybe that’s for the best.”
“Get your ass up and get to that hospital.” He stood up and went toward the door. “Once you see her. Once you talk to her, you’ll stop this shit.” He opened the door and pointed my way out. “Go!”
I got up slowly. I wasn’t as gung-ho as he wanted me to be, but I would go see her. For the five minutes they would allow me to. But I wasn’t sure if I would saddle her with the ring yet. I wasn’t sure it would be safe to put it on her just yet. Maybe never.
Leaving the office with Artimus glaring at me, I got on the elevator. Moving the ring from the pocket of my jacket, I put it back in my pants pocket and let my fingers move around it.
My head wasn’t right as I took a cab over to the hospital. Thoughts came and went as I stared at the floor.
Am I really cursed?
Should I leave Nina alone for her own good?
Should I just be alone for the rest of my life?
Would that be safer for everyone?
Will I ever be able to get over Nina?
I sighed heavily as I thought about that. I had hardly slept at all since the attack. And even as I thought about that and knew that the lack of sleep could contribute to depression, I ignored that fact.
