Page 2 of Dirty Desires
Then I was at the center of the hugs and attention. That only served to make me feel worse. “Quit it, you guys. I’m fine.”
They let me go and took their seats once more. Lila patted me on the leg. “No, you’re not fine. And this needs to be said, Nina. It’s time to shit or get off the pot.”
Julia nodded. “It is. It really is. You waiting around for Ashton doesn’t seem to be working, Nina. Look, I know he’s a great guy, but he’s got issues that run too deep.”
Taking a drink of my coffee, I knew she was right. “It does seem like he can’t get over losing his fiancée. I mean it’s been years now. If his grieving or guilt or whatever is going on in his head hasn’t subsided by now, then I doubt it ever will.”
Ashton Lange, the station’s favorite producer, had been engaged once upon a time. It had been about four years since the accident that took the woman’s life. Ashton had been at the wheel of the car, from what I’d been told. Not that he’d ever told me a thing. Others had.
Ashton and I were pretty close. We were great friends. I had always thought that would lead to something further someday. Two years later, I wasn’t sure anymore.
Julia clucked her tongue, taking my attention away from staring into the creamy abyss inside my coffee mug. “Before you just go and decide Ashton isn’t worth your time, let me ask you. What it is that attracts you to him?”
That was easy. “His demeanor. He’s sweet, thoughtful, caring, perfect in every way.” I put my mug down, kicked off my heels, then pulled my feet underneath me. “And he’s so cute. Those blond wavy locks that fall to the tops of his shoulders—they’re hard to resist running my hands through. And when he wears it in a man bun at the base of his neck, my lips ache to kiss that exposed neck, to trail my lips up and down.”
Lila laughed. “Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad.”
“She does, doesn’t she?” Julia asked, then sipped her coffee. “What else attracts you to him, Nina?”
His eyes shone in my mind. “Those cerulean blue eyes dance when he’s being funny. And then there’s his body—tall, muscular—and his ability to be completely sexy on top of all the rest of his attributes. He’s the total package. To me he is, anyway.”
Julia sat up, and I could tell she’d put on her thinking cap as her dark eyes were wide and her lips were pursed. “Okay, so let’s lay this all down so we can help you figure out where to start with this man who you are clearly so hopelessly in love with.”
“In love?” I shook my head. “Let’s not go that far. I can admit that I’m insanely attracted to Ashton, but I can’t say that I’m in love with him. Not when we haven’t even kissed. Or gone out on a date, I might add.”
Lila wagged her finger at me. “You two eat lunch together almost every day. And sometimes dinner too. Now, in my opinion, that’s a date.”
“Not mine.” I laid my head back on the chair as I imagined what the end of a date with Ashton would be like. “My idea of a date ends with a kiss. Not a ‘See ya later, Nina,’ the way our lunches and dinners always end.”
Julia agreed, “I can see where she’s coming from. Okay, so let me help you see things clearly here, Nina. You have wanted this man for two years now. Your only competition is the memory of his dead fiancée. He hasn’t dated at all since I’ve known him, which is as long as I’ve worked here at WOLF. I think that’s a good sign, don’t you?”
I had to admit that it didn’t hurt anything, “It’s an okay sign, I guess. But that sign has been lit up for a couple of years now and so far, it hasn’t helped me a bit.”
Lila stood up and put her hands on her hips, looking as if she had a plan. “Okay, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to put things into motion, Nina. No more waiting around. You’ve got to be proactive.”
Julia agreed, “Yeah, be proactive, Nina.” She stood up too. “Now, what would a proactive woman do when she was out to prove to the man she wanted that she was worth moving on from the memory of a lost love?”
They looked at me as if I knew the answer to that. My eyes moved back and forth, looking at each of them. “Are you two being serious? Obviously, I don’t know the answer to that question or I wouldn’t be here, getting stared at and lectured by two women who have everything else all figured out.”
Lila looked at Julia and asked, “Do you think you’ve got it all figured out, Julia?”
She shook her head. “I know I don’t. But what I did have going for me is that I knew what I wanted. I wanted Artimus. He wanted me. And we made it happen.”
“I don’t know if Ashton wants me.” I chewed on my fingernail as I thought about that. “What if he doesn’t?”
Lila scoffed at the idea. “Phooey! He wants you. We’ve all seen him look at you with pure lust and sometimes he just smiles when you walk by. He’s into you, big time. I think he’s just afraid of losing a woman he loves again. You have to let him know that he doesn’t have to be afraid.”
“And how can I do that?” I had no idea how to help anyone stop being afraid of anything, never mind help someone stop being afraid of death or losing loved ones. When they both shrugged, I wanted to jump up and pull their hair. “Ugh! This is impossible.”
“It is not,” Julia said with a stern tone.
“She’s right,” Lila added. “Nothing is impossible unless you allow it to be. And you’re not going to allow that, Nina.”
“I’m not?” I was feeling skeptical and not a little self-pitying.
Julia stomped her foot. “Heck, no, you’re not going to allow that. Now let’s brainstorm. What is it that wins a man over almost every time?”
Lila smiled. “Sex.”
I sighed and shook my head. “I’m not going to just go to his office and offer my body up to him, Lila. So, think of something else.”
Julia looked at Lila as if she were crazy. “Come on, Lila. Be for real here. We both know Nina isn’t that kind of girl. She’s not the type to seduce him by wearing nothing but an overcoat, before dropping it and leaving her naked body on full display for the man. She’s just not the type, even if it would bring Ashton to his knees, begging to worship at her altar.”
I had to laugh, because that was just ridiculous. “You guys don’t know the man at all, it seems.”
They both looked at me as Lila said, “But you do. Now let that sink in, and now come up with at least one thing you can do to put a chink in that armor he has around his heart.”
Standing up, I decided I was going to give this a real shot. And my nose led me right to one of my secret weapons, which everyone loved. “Some women say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
At least I had one idea to work with.
