Page 62 of Dirty Desires
“You’re quite the homemaker,” I joked with him.
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me before saying, “So are you.”
The play was nice, the weather good, and the day was going well. The only thing missing were his pleas for me to stay another night. And I was actually beginning to get upset by that.
Does he not really want me around?
It hadn’t been easy to turn him down all those times. I had done it because his therapist didn’t think the time was right for us to move in together.
As hard as it was to keep following her advice when all I wanted to do was be with him as much as I possibly could, I’d done what she wanted. And now it seemed that Ashton was getting used to me telling him no, so he wasn’t going to ask anymore.
And that made me upset.
Never had I imagined that following her advice would lead to Ashton and I growing apart, but that’s what it felt like. That wasn’t the plan at all.
The plan was for us to grow closer and eventually become even more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. But now I was beginning to wonder.
After the play, we walked in the park, strolling around while holding hands and just enjoying the nice day. “Where would you like to eat dinner tonight?”
I thought about it for a second before answering. “Let’s not eat out. Let’s make spaghetti.”
“Good idea. I’m with ya on that. We can get some good wine too.” He began heading out of the park. “We can get some fresh spices for the meatballs.”
Happy that we were going to cook together, I still couldn’t say I wasentirelyhappy. There was still no mention of staying another night.
We shopped then went back to his place and he took off to take a shower. “I got a little sweaty while we were out. I’m going to shower up real quick. Have a glass of wine, and we can start cooking when I get out.”
Getting myself a glass of the red we’d bought, I took a seat on the sofa and put my feet up. The day had felt long to me. I couldn’t say why. The only thing that really came to mind was the fact that I’d been waiting for him to say something that never came.
But even with all he hadn’t said, he and I got along great, and he was every bit as attentive as he’d always been. There wasn’t any need for me to be feeling upset.
I began to think I was being bratty about the whole thing. He’d been told ‘no’ as many times as he could handle, was my guess. I needed to get the hell over it.
But that proved harder to do than I’d thought. He came back out, smelling crisp and clean and looking fresh and handsome as ever. All I could think about was how nice it would be to come home with him after a long day of work. We could take a shower together, then get into bed.
But he won’t ask me to stay anymore!
I was cutting up an onion when the words popped out of my mouth, “If you want me to stay tomorrow, I can.”
“Oh?” He looked at me with confusion riddling his face. “I thought you said that was a bad idea.”
“Yes, I have said that.” I didn’t know how to say the right words. I didn’t want to come off as needy. “But you’ve asked me for weeks now. I feel like I was wrong, saying no so many times now.”
“That’s nice of you.” He went on, forming a meatball. But he didn’t say another word about me staying another night.
I waited awhile, chopping up some bell pepper too before I brought it up again. “So, do you want me to stay tomorrow night to0?”
“I don’t want you to do anything you feel isn’t right, Nina.” He put the finished meatballs into the oven to bake.
I didn’t know what to say to that. So I finished what I was doing, and when we were all done, we ate in silence.
I felt awkward for even bringing the subject up. And now I was thoroughly confused about what he wanted.
Does he want me to stay or not?
At the end of the meal, he sat back and patted his stomach. “Another fine meal we’ve made, Nina. I think we make a great team. Don’t you?”
“I do.” I did think we made a good team, but I was still a little miffed that he’d given such a vague answer earlier and that the subject now seemed to be closed. I got up and took the dishes to the sink to rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher.
