Page 72 of Dirty Little Secret
Chapter 24
Kane
Zandra had been one of those rare natural beauties back in high school. I remembered really seeing her for the first time. She was a sophomore, probably fourteen or fifteen. Her hair wasn’t very long, just shoulder-length, a rich chestnut brown color with golden strands that would catch the sun now and then.
She’d been walking outside, along the sidewalk. Alone, with books in her arms covering a chest that hadn’t blossomed yet, she kept her eyes on the ground in front of her.
I’d brushed my shoulder against hers as we’d passed each other, and she didn’t even blink an eye or look my way at all. She’d merely whispered a timid, “Sorry,” as if it was her fault.
Stopping in my tracks, I’d turned around to watch her walk away and had wondered what the hell was up with her. Was she stuck-up? Or was it just insecurity that made her so shy?
Of course, later I’d figured out it was insecurity. And I thought she still had a strain of it running through her now. That had to be the reason behind all the makeup and the dyed hair. The skimpy wardrobe, I assumed, was so she could fit in with her younger co-workers at the club.
The way she presented herself now was so different than how she’d been in high school, and I didn’t truly believe that either version was her real self. While she used to hide from people by looking at the ground and trying to fade in the background, now she was using her clothes and style to hide the true Zandra from others.
I really did believe that, with my help—and Fox’s too—Zandra would be able to grow into the woman she was truly meant to be. I knew she’d settle into adulthood and become the kind of mother Fox needed; she just needed someone to go on that journey with her.
Step one was taking her to a nice place where her too-young style wouldn’t fit in. And I hoped that she would transform accordingly into the gorgeous butterfly I knew was ready to break out. I couldn’t wait to see the woman I knew was buried inside all the makeup, dye, and skimpy clothes.
Some people might call me manipulative and controlling, and I would have to say that there might be some aspects of my plan that would fit those descriptions. But in the end, my mission was only to help her become the confident and mature woman I knew she could be. Once she felt comfortable and stable in this new life, I’d step back and let her do whatever she saw fit.
The truth was that I could see Zandra in a light that she, herself, couldn’t see.Yet.She couldn’t see that woman who waited to come out,yet. But she would. And I just wanted that to happen sooner rather than later. For Fox, and for myself.
Sure, I could leave her just as she is. But then what?
Zandra would be a large part of Fox’s life. We both hoped she would be at school functions, joining in and becoming a part of it the same way we had. We hoped she would come to his afterschool practices and his baseball games on the weekends. And neither Fox nor I wanted her to be ridiculed by anyone.
The cold hard truth was that if she didn’t change her appearance, then the other moms and dads wouldn’t see her the way we did. They wouldn’t see the hardworking woman she’d become, who’d survived a difficult childhood that had only grown worse after I’d taken her virginity and left her with a baby growing inside of her. They’d never know how much that baby had changed her life, and all that she’d had to go through to get to where she was.
If I’d just been able to leave her alone all those years ago, she would’ve graduated from high school and most likely gone to college. Her parents seemed to care a lot about appearances too, after all. I was sure they would’ve made her go to college, like the rest of her graduating class.
But Zandra had missed all that because they’d kept her hidden at her home, which they’d made more like a prison. At least that’s the way it sounded when she’d talked to me about it on the phone the week before.
I’d gotten to know a lot about her over our phone calls. And I had to admit that I had been wrong to judge her. I’d thought her weak. I’d thought she’d taken the easy road, leaving the harder one for someone else to take.
As easy as that road seemed to be, that road had a dead end, and it wouldn’t be too many more years before she reached that ending. I’d never seen any thirty-year-old waitresses working at nightclubs in all my earlier years of partying. She wouldn’t be able to work the types of clubs she was used to forever. And then what would she do?
I figured I might as well give her a little push, some incentive to move forward now, instead of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her later. And she might as well do it with Fox and me at the front of her mind, giving her a reason to strive for something more than she’d had before us.
Circa 1886 was the kind of restaurant where men wore suits and ties, and women wore gorgeous evening gowns. If she didn’t know the place by reputation, I knew she’d be able to get an idea of the dress code from looking it up online. She would see exactly what she would have to wear in order to fit into this kind of place.
And I just had to wait a few minutes longer to see if she was able to meet this one challenge out of the many more she’d likely have to face in the coming months.
I’d texted her right when I left my house, telling her I was on my way. She’d texted me back, telling me to wait outside in my car, that she would come out to me. So I did as she’d asked, and I sat waiting. Five minutes later, she came out the door.
At first, I thought I had to be seeing things. Maybe it wasn’t her at all coming out of her apartment and walking toward me. But then again, it had to be. There was that same chestnut brown hair she’d had back in high school, the evening sunlight making a few blonde strands glisten. She was still wearing a bit of makeup, but only enough to enhance her natural beauty. No fake lashes, no overly plump lips. Just her lovely features shining through.
I got out of the car, obviously stunned. “Zandra. My God.”
She smiled brilliantly as she spun around slowly. The chocolate brown dress she wore went below her knees, the bottom billowing out, flowing in the breeze as she turned around. “You like the new me, Kane?”
The boatneck top covered her breasts, not allowing any cleavage to show, but accentuating their round curves. A thin blue belt showed off her narrow waist, and it matched her two-inch heels. Creamy pearl earrings matched the necklace that hung around her long neck, which was beautifully on display thanks to her hair being pinned up.
She stopped turning to look at me. “Kane?”
“Uh … umm.” I was speechless.
She laughed lightly as she walked toward the passenger door. “I know. I look very different. Older.”
