Page 80 of Dirty Little Secret
“You can’t blame yourself for that, Zandra.” I hated seeing her like this. She’d crumbled right in front of me, and I didn’t know if I could help her feel better. “And don’t ever call yourself pathetic again. You’re anything but pathetic. Look at all that you’ve done for yourself.”
“Yeah, I became a cocktail waitress. Woohoo!” She spun around in a circle as she pointed one finger in the air. “And now, I’m not even that.”
“It’s time for a change, baby. That’s all. We all have to make changes. They’re inevitable. You’re hanging onto something when everything else is pulling you away from it, and it’s hurting you right now.” I took a step toward her, but she stepped right back, holding her hand up.
“Don’t, Kane. Don’t come and wrap your arms around me and try to make me change my mind.” Her chest rose then fell as she sighed deeply. “I should’ve known this would never work. I should’ve never tried to be a part of your life, or Fox’s. I’m no good for anyone. I never have been. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She looked up at me then back down at the ground. “You’re so damn gorgeous. The way you touch me sends lightning through my veins. It’s like a dream, but dreams don’t last. Nothing like that can ever last.”
“It can.” I took a step closer. “And I feel the same way when you touch me, and you’re gorgeous too, baby. And we created this fantastic little boy together. I want you and I to raise him together. From now on, baby. Don’t say these things you’re saying. I don’t think you realize how much they hurt me.”
Her lips trembled as she looked up at me. “I don’t mean to hurt you. But I know I’ll just end up disappointing you so badly if I stay around here. I know I’ll disappoint Fox, too.” Turning away from me, she walked to the door to her apartment. “I think it’s best if I leave, Kane. I won’t come back and bother you guys again. I love you and Fox too much to inflict myself on the two of you. I always just end up causing problems for people, and I’m not worth the trouble. Just let me leave. Let me just go back to what I’ve always done, taking care of myself the only way I know how.” She looked so sad, and everything that she was saying was breaking my heart. But what she said next really shattered me. “I’m incapable of taking care of anyone else. My parents knew that, and that’s why they made me give up Fox. I’m not meant to be loved—I don’t deserve it.”
I had never seen anyone look so broken. My heart felt like it had splintered, like it had burst apart into an abyss filled with sorrow. “Please don’t go, baby,” my words were little more than a whisper. “I love you. Please.”
She didn’t say a single word as she went into her apartment, closing the door behind her.
Shutting me out of her life.
