Page 51 of His Secret Virgin
I looked up but couldn’t see through my tears. “Val?”
“Of course it’s me. No one else knows you here, Emma.” She reached down to help me up. “What happened? Did Romeo break up with you or something?”
“No,” I wailed.
“Did someone run over your dog?” she asked sarcastically.
“No,” I cried.
“Let’s go inside. People are coming, and they’ll call security on your loud ass.” She unlocked the door then pulled me inside, taking me to her bed and making me sit down. “I’m going to get a wet washcloth to clean your teary face, then you’re going to stop bawling and tell me what the hell is wrong.”
Gasping as I tried to stop crying, I kept wiping away the tears that refused to stop falling. When Valerie came back with the cool, wet cloth, I took it from her and held it to my burning eyes until I was able to stop the tears, and I felt like I might be able to say the words I needed to.
“I… I...” I couldn’t do it. I fell apart again and fell on the bed, burying my face in the pillow.
“Emma! For the love of God. Please pull yourself together,” she pleaded with me. “Plus, that’s my roommate’s pillow you’re covering in your snot and tears. That’s gross, man!”
“Sorry,” I mumbled as I put the cloth over my eyes again to try to stop the flood of tears a second time, but it didn’t work.
Nothing would work. I would most likely die of dehydration at the rate I was going. And everyone would be better off that way, anyway.
I could never go to Christopher with this horrible news. I couldn’t tell my parents, either. I didn’t know what I would do.
Valerie lay on the bed beside me, holding me in her thin arms. “Just try to calm down, Emma. Nothing is this bad. We can deal with whatever’s wrong. You’ll see. Hush, now. No more crying. Crying has never solved anything.”
I knew she was right. But nothing would solve my problem.
At least I had money in my bank account for once in my life. I could run away and start a new life under an assumed name. Maybe Connie Beavers or something like that. I would have my baby and raise it all on my own. Even though I didn’t know a single thing about babies or about being a mom.
The thought made me cry even harder. “Valerie, I’ve messed up. I’ve messed up real bad!”
“How?” she asked as she rubbed my shoulders. “Come on, Emma, tell me what’s wrong. This is killing me. I’m serious.”
“I can’t.” A whole new level of crying started. Deep, guttural, as if my soul itself was being torn apart.
“Damn it!” she yelled at me as she got off the bed. “Sit up and tell me what the hell’s happened! Right now, young lady!”
Her tone shocked me, and I sat up, wiping my eyes. “You can’t tell anyone, Val. I mean it. Not anyone.”
“What did this asshole do to you, Emma?” She smacked her fist against her palm. “I’m going to kill him!”
“It’s not his fault.” I tried to catch my breath and hold the tears back. “It’s all mine.”
“I’m sure it’s his fault.” She paced back and forth. “I should’ve never kept your secret. Now this jerk has gone and done something terrible to you, and it’s all my fault. I should’ve told you to tell your parents about him. I should’ve made you let me meet him. There’re so many things I should’ve done. You’re too naïve. Too trusting. Too innocent. This is all my fault, Emma.” She began to cry too as she fell on her knees in front of me, taking my hands in hers. “Please forgive me, Emma!”
Now we were both wailing, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
The cell in my purse started ringing, and I had to take it out to see who it was. Through a blur of tears, I saw it was Mrs. Kramer. She had to be wondering where the hell I was.
Valerie took the phone out of my hands. “Who’s Mrs. Kramer, Emma?”
“Don’t answer it.” I took the phone back and turned it off. “I can’t talk to anyone. I’ll break down.”
“You’ve already broken down,” she reminded me.
As I stuffed the cell back into my purse, I started to calm down a little. I had to think of what to do. I couldn’t just spend the rest of my life sitting in Valerie’s dorm room crying my eyes out. That wouldn’t be any kind of a life for my baby—the one I didn’t know how to take care of in the first place.
“Valerie, I never got on birth control,” I finally managed to say.
