Page 54 of Make Her Mine
“Yeah, I know you are.” She looked at me with wise eyes, even though she was only ten years older than me. “I learned a lot about your family the summer I stayed with you guys and worked at the ranch. I saw how your family interacts. They all hid things from you, keeping you as innocent as possible. I suppose because of what you’d gone through. But also, I think it was because of how special you became to all of them.”
“Funny, I don’t feel special at all.” I didn’t think my family members thought more of me than anyone else.
Sherry smiled dumping more honey in the mug before taking another sip. “Ella, they shelter you from everything. And even from growing up. You freaked out over a standard pap smear!”
She was right. “Kyle confronted Brandon about the flowers. And Darleen said I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship if I couldn’t talk to Brandon about birth control.”
“Here’s the thing, Ella.” She bumped her shoulder to mine. “Most people don’t talk a lot about that in the first place. And Darleen came to me when she was sixteen and asked me to take her to get on birth control. It even helps regulate menstruation.”
I felt my lips pull down into a frown. “That sneak.”
“Darleen and Kyle had relationships, but they never bring anyone around.,” she mentioned. “They kept you from seeing ordinary, adult issues. Don’t be mad at any of them; they’re doing it out of love. But pay mind to when they’re actively keeping you a little kid.”
Nodding, I wondered if one of them said something to Brandon to stop him from calling me. “Would it be wrong for me to call him, Sherry?”
“No,” she said with a smile. “He might be waiting for you to make a move, Ella. He could be just as insecure as you are. I mean, he’s living at the estate, and your family has access to his ear, right?”
“Boy, do they.” All of them probably said something to him. It was Sunday after all. Everyone had brunch on Sundays. “Do you think I’m making a mistake, Sherry?”
“Staying away from him for a month because Darleen told you?” She nodded. “Yeah, why? What did the doctor say at the appointment?”
“He said it’ll take a month to get in my system and to use condoms until then. And if I’m unsure of my sexual partner’s sexual health, to use one anyway, even while on the pill.” Darleen was right. “See, my sister was pretty adamant about not relying on condoms.”
“That’s because she got pregnant when she was seventeen. She was on the pill, but she skipped a whole week before she realized how risky that was. She said they always used condoms, too.” Sherry looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Do not tell anyone in your family this secret, promise?”
“Not even Darleen?” This new information was perplexing.
“Yes, you can talk to her.” She took another sip of cocoa. “She really should have told you about that so you’d have a clue of what could happen if you’re not cautious.”
“What happened to the baby?”
“She lost it.” Shaking her head, she looked sad. “When she figured out she missed those pills, she took a whole week’s worth at one time. This was about two months after the fact. She came to Dallas and told me she skipped her period both months, so we got a pregnancy test, and it came out positive.”
“So, she lost it because she started taking the pills again?” That was one of the saddest things I’d ever heard!
Shrugging, she said, “I don’t know. There’s no way to tell. She went home and was going to tell the father. But on the ride back, she began bleeding and returned here. We went to the emergency room where she lost the baby. Since then, she’s been a stern believer in not using only a condom. Plus, she started using another form of birth control; no pill involved.”
“So, as long as I take the pills correctly, and within these first thirty days we use a condom, then I could have sex without much risk?” Darleen might have been a little too overzealous...
“If you feel you’re ready, Ella. Don’t force yourself. And you should be in love.” Sherry sighed. “If I could do it over again, I’d wait for love. You and this guy might find that if you’re honest.”
“Do you really think so?” Since he hasn’t called, who knows?
“Look, he’s already done more for you than any guy has for me,” she smiled. “He’s beaten up a guy for trying to kiss you. He’s taken your drunken butt home, put you in his bed, left you alone, and even helped you do your job the next day! He’s called you every day since you’ve been here. And the jet is at your disposal? That’s something, girl, let me tell you.”
“And here I am, too anxious to call him.” I felt so stupid and childish. “You’re right about my family. Now that you’ve brought it up, I recall tons of times they’ve stopped me from doing things. Including going to summer camp when I was fifteen. This one girl invited me, and I sort of wanted to, but was on the fence about it. Then Darleen and Kyle said how awful it is and how they make you do things I’d hate, so I dropped it.”
“They’d do that.” She got up and put her empty mug in the sink. “So, after the state inspections, I usually go to Chili’s to get a margarita and some of their guacamole dip. You should join me, Ella.”
That sounded like a grownup thing to do! “Yeah, I will. That sounds great. I’ll do some shopping in the morning.”
“If you want some company for that, one of the girls who works at the daycare is about your age. She’s got tomorrow off, and she’s got great taste in fashion. Her aunt owns one of the best hair salons in Dallas. She could get you in.” Sherry headed off to bed as I washed and put our mugs away.
“Leave me her number, and I’ll give her a call.” Not having any friends was not entirely my doing... There were times I’d talk about some girl at school and either my sister or brother were quick to point out problems in their families.
Maybe they just wanted me to stay home and be safe? Whatever their reasons, their fears would not hold me back any longer.
Seemed I’ve been hiding behind my fears and all of theirs as well.
