Page 53 of His to Love
Patton and Luciano stood there, staring at me. It all felt like a weird dream now. “So, that was something. Sorry I scared you guys,” I murmured, fighting off sleep for a little while longer.
The nurse came in and handed Patton a small bottle. “Feed him a half ounce then stop and burp him. And make sure you pat his back until he burps before you give him another half ounce. It’s important that you do that or he’s going to get gas. Gas makes babies fussy, and fussy babies are no fun at all. If you need anything, just press the nurses’ button on the side rail of the bed.” She turned her attention to me. “How are you feeling?”
It was an odd feeling that was hard to describe. But then it hit me. “Like lightning struck me.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I get that a lot when I ask someone who’s just been shocked back to life. It wears off faster than you’d think. Let me know if you need anything.”
As I looked into her green eyes a sudden burst of sadness overcame me and I began crying. “I died, didn’t I?”
Moving quickly, she took my hand, gently rubbing the top of it. “Sort of, but not really. This is a traumatic event, and you should know that you will have some emotions about what’s happened to you. Your doctor will do some tests to find out why your heart stopped. You may have an underlying condition that you and your doctor weren’t aware of. But don’t worry about that or anything else right now. You’re okay and safe.”
Wiping my eyes, I felt so strange. “I’ll be okay.” Looking at Patton and then my brother, I knew I had a couple of great men looking out for me. “I’ve got a great support team.”
“You certainly do,” she agreed. “So, let your hubby take care of the baby while you rest.”
Another bout of strong sadness took me over and I started to cry again. “I wanted to breastfeed.”
“And you will still get a chance to do that. For now, though, you’ve gotta take care of you and let Daddy feed and take care of the baby. I don’t want you to worry about a thing.” Looking at Patton, she nodded at the rocking chair. “Take a seat, Daddy. Rock that baby and keep things nice and calm for Mamma.”
“Will do. I don’t want anything taking her away from us.” He smiled at me. “Because we all love you. Especially me.”
Aww, he loves me.My heart skipped a beat and they all heard it, turning their heads to the heart monitor in panic. I knew it was nothing to be worried about, though—it was just the effect he had on me. “As you can hear, I love you too.”
Lying in that bed, gazing at my husband as he fed our baby boy, I imagined that this must be what Heaven would feel like. But I was glad I was here on this Earth instead. Whatever the reason for my heart stopping, I knew if my doctor couldn’t figure it out, then Patton would find a doctor who could.
I closed my eyes as sadness tried to take me under again.I cannot cry again. I am alive, I am loved, and I have a healthy baby. I can’t ask for more.
