Page 26 of His to Love
“I do know about it,” Baldwyn said. “She didn’t mention a pregnancy though.”
“She doesn’t know about it yet,” Patton told him. “We hurried to get married because Alexa is only one month along. This way, we can tell her parents about the pregnancy in about month, and they’ll be happy about it instead of upset.”
“And when this baby shows up a month early, then what?” Baldwyn asked.
“Babies do that sort of thing all the time. It won’t be a big deal. You’ll see,” Patton sounded confident, and I hoped it would make his brother feel better about everything.
“You do realize that she’s got you on a string now, right?” Baldwyn asked him. “I mean, she’s got you on the hook for at least the next eighteen years and probably longer. And then you’ll also be expected to pay for this kid’s college, I would guess.”
“Look, I want to do this,” Patton said, sounding angry. “And I’m not about to argue with each one of my brothers over this. That baby will be mine in every way but one. Not that our child will ever be made aware of that.”
“So, the marriage is real, and it’ll last?” Baldwyn asked. “I mean—you’ve gotta know that the De La Cruz family won’t be keen on you two divorcing. You get that, right? You’re married to someone you don’t love. And you’re sort of stuck in this now.”
“I’m not stuck in anything,” Patton shouted. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Hey, you told me to keep it down and look who’s yelling,” Baldwyn cautioned him. “And what about how Alexa feels about having to live with you and be married to you? This has to be freaking her out. She’s like a little sister to you. This isn’t right, Patton, and you know it.”
“So, one minute she’s got me by a string and the next I’m molesting her?” Patton sounded exasperated. “For your information, I haven’t touched her. And I won’t.”
A sense of disappointment rumbled inside of me with his words. I’d had many dreams about him as I slept in our honeymoon bed— alone and untouched. The attraction I felt toward Patton was only getting stronger. But it sounded like it was still one-sided.
“Do you think I don’t have you on social media, bro?”
“The pictures were meant to make her parents believe in our marriage and our love. So, yes, we did some kissing, hugging, and touching for the camera. It wasn’t real.”
Sagging against the wall, I felt weak in the knees. It had felt so real to me—so real and so right. But not to Patton.
Is this marriage a huge mistake?
“It looked real, Patton,” Baldwyn informed him. “The stars in your eyes don’t lie.”
“It was the lights. And we had to make it look good.”
“And what about the glow that surrounded Alexa in those pics?” he asked. “How’d you fake that?”
“She’s pregnant,” Patton replied. “Pregnant women glow all the time.”
“If she falls in love with you, then what will you do?” his brother asked.
“Baldwyn, we have no idea what the future will hold. I know that my friendship with her brother is what matters to me over everything else. He and I have been friends since we were little kids. I will not betray the trust he’s put in me.”
Another wave of disappointment hit me to join what was already there. Patton was a respectable man, and his friendship with my brother would stop him from ever being able to see me in a romantic light. I had to stop dreaming about the man in that way. I had to stop thinking stupid thoughts, like that one day we’d have a real marriage and become a real family.
“You and Luciano should’ve come to me with this. You shouldn’t have made this decision alone. Now you’ve got this poor girl married to you. How do you think she really feels about that?” Baldwyn asked.
“I think she’s happy that her mother will be happy about his baby, instead of the news possibly killing her,” Patton snapped. “This isn’t about me. It’s not about Alexa, either. It’s not even about the baby. This is about the life of a woman who has done a lot for me. You know how much Mrs. De La Cruz did for me after Mom and Dad died. She was the one who held me close and made me feel like I had a mother in her. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I didn’t feel like a goddamned orphan, thanks to that woman and her husband.”
Tears filled my eyes. I’d never known that about him. I knew he felt comfortable with my family, but I didn’t know that he saw my parents in that light. And that made me feel even worse about the dilemma I’d created.
I’d made a huge mistake, and Patton’s devotion to my mother had him making one too. He didn’t love me and never would. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall in love with me—for my brother’s sake.
But I couldn’t change a damn thing. I couldn’t tell him to annul the marriage or it would kill my mother. I had no control over this anymore.
“Patton, I’m sorry for coming down so hard on you about this. I know you love that family. But I am seriously concerned about Alexa. Don’t you think she deserves to find a man whom she loves and loves her back?”
“Of course she deserves that. And when the time is right, we’ll end this marriage so she can be free of me and free to find real love. Until then, we will continue to make this marriage look real to everyone. We will share this child, Baldwyn. It will be a Nash. And that won’t ever change.”
“You don’t feel as if you’ll be doing an injustice to your eventual bloodline by doing that?” Baldwyn asked. “You will eventually have kids of your own and a wife you really love. How do you think this little fiasco will make them feel?”
