Page 75 of A Trial of the Heart
We bid each other a farewell before I stepped over the threshold, walking away with my head held high. I knew this would be a setback, and I would have to find another career path, but I was a queen, and though my crown may have tipped, there was no way I was allowing it to fall.
Chapter
Thirty-Seven
Rashad:
With my messenger bag tossed over my shoulder, I took long strides, avoiding the big raindrops. The slight storm that was passing through came out of nowhere, and I was trying to make it to my car without getting my designer suit and Italian loafers ruined. Today was the first time in months I felt like my normal self. I wasn’t looking over my shoulder, pretending to like someone to be free, and I didn’t have to worry whether the entire law system was corrupt. I had worried they were all in on my demise.
Finally, under the garage covering a few feet from my car, I hit the key fob to automatically start it.
“Rashad? I knew the person the soft, yet commanding voice belonged to before I looked over my shoulder.
I pivoted my eyes, instantly being greeted by Shiloh. She stood before me—Retro Jordans covered her feet, capri-style sweats hugged her curves, while a matching crop top hoodie that she had her hands shoved inside displayed her flat stomach with a belly button ring that dipped in her navel. Shiloh’s natural coils were pulled on top of her perfectly shaped head into a messy bun. Unlike the other times we encountered each other,her flawless face was makeup free, showing her natural beauty. Shiloh was beautiful in a way no one could compete with if they attempted to. Even as the rain drops soaked her frame, I could admire her beauty. I had feelings for her. She was real, yet she ran from me more times than I could count, and she failed to step up for me when she had the chance. Anything that could have been, Shiloh sabotaged it, and I wasn’t interested in mending something I hadn’t broken.
“What’s up?” I spoke casually.
Shiloh looked scared. “You got a minute?” The rain was still falling. In fact, it seemed to pour harder.
“It’s raining out here.”
I chuckled as if I wasn’t watching the rain pour down on her. She could have easily stepped closer to me to prevent getting wet, but I assumed she didn’t want to be too close.
“I know. I just need a minute.” She didn’t miss a beat.
For a second, I thought about saying no, as nothing she did or didn’t want to say would change us. I wasn’t in the business of giving second chances because if you cared enough, you wouldn’t ruin the first one.
“Shoot.” I went against my morals, tilting my head a little, indicating her to step from out of the rain.
After a second of hesitation, Shiloh stepped closer but stayed near the edge, still getting wet. I almost turned to get in my car when she didn’t speak, and her eyes adjusted everywhere but mine. Finally, after fiddling with her French manicured nails, she lifted her gaze to mine. Her soft brown eyes were beautiful yet held no life as they once did. Shiloh’s kissable heart shaped lips part slowly the sound took a half of a second to catch up.
“I’ve always been the black girl that knew her job well and executed it with ease, yet I was still never good enough. I’ve always had to work much harder than anyone to be noticed. I had finally gotten to a place where I wasn’t just seen as the blackgirl whose father paved the way for her. My work showed for itself… at least I thought.” Shiloh paused.
“Everyone has always seen me as such a strong person. The whole time I was fighting for a right to be equal in the workplace. I fought hard only to realize I was fighting a losing battle since I was fighting against who I thought was fighting with me.”
I heard Shiloh, but she was rambling, and the down pour was preventing me from understanding what she was attempting to say.
“Shiloh, what are you saying?” I finally asked.
She huffed in annoyance. “Rashad I am saying that, despite what you may think, I wasn’t in on the corruption. Just like you, I was a chess piece in their game. The world just so happens to be smaller than they knew, and you and I had prior connections. You just have to know I wasn’t a part of the plan. I’m sorry though, Rashad, I should have spoken up about it and did more to defend you.”
Shiloh sounded like she had just spoken a rehearsed part from a play she was staring in.Even after realizing the connection with Shiloh and the office she worked for, the thought that she had set me up never crossed my mind. My problem was she found out and failed to do something about it, even after telling me. Along with that, she had written me off as a parent to our unborn child because she assumed I wanted to bail. She took my voice and rights from me before giving me the option.
“At first, I thought you were in on it. Eventually, I realized you weren’t.”
“Okay.” She nodded, dropping her eyes back to her sneakers.
I wasn’t sure if she had something else to say or she expected me to say something. I stayed quiet, though, allowing the silence to do the talking, but after she wouldn’t look my way, I spoke. “I appreciate the apology.” My lips curled at the corner giving aslight smile. “I know we won’t get to the bottom of it overnight, but we have to sit down and work some shit out for the sake of our child.” My eyes cautiously dropped to her stomach. “For now, I wish you the best and will be in touch.”
My eyes raised back to her. Shiloh’s eyes spilled over with tears, but I could tell she was putting up a heavy fight not to lose the battle.
“Take care of yourself.” I turned, opening my car door.
My foot was midair to slip into my car when my door was pushed closed, and Shiloh blocked the way.
“Rashad, wait!” Her voice shook. “I didn’t just come here to say sorry…” She briefly paused, and the rain increased with the wind blowing, forcing the rain our way.
I wanted to shout “what the hell you gotta say” when she spoke again.
