Page 67 of A Trial of the Heart
Once again, we fell silent. Since I didn’t want to just sit doing nothing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, responding to emails that I’d gotten earlier in the day. Shiloh’s eyes bounced around the restaurant.
A little less than ten minutes had passed when the waiter returned with our plates in his hand.
“Lobster bisque,” he noted, placing the bowl of piping hot soup in front of Shiloh.
“Medium steak,” he said, placing my plate in front of me. “Is there anything else I can get either of you?”
“No, thank you,” Shiloh spoke up.
“We’re good. Thanks,” I spoke.
“You two enjoy. I’ll be back shortly to check on you,” he said, turning on his heels.
I had said I’d wait for her, but her lack of conversation and avoidance of eye contact, I couldn’t do it any longer. Without touching my food, I leaned back into my chair, picking my drink up and casually staring at her.
“What?” Shiloh questioned with a nervous smile and her spoon in her hand.
For a few moments, I stared at her without saying anything, just reading her.
“Why’d you need to see me tonight?” I finally spoke.
Shiloh’s eyes instantly shifted to mine before she dropped her head slightly. Her gesture confused me. When she lifted her head, and our eyes met again, I saw fear.
“Everything cool?” If something was wrong, I wanted to protect her. She meant something to me.I watched her closely as she exhaled deeply.
“Here it goes,” she said just above a whisper. “Before I start, I just want you to know I didn’t want this to happen at all.”
“Okay…”
“I’m not expecting anything from you. I just felt you had the right to know. I can do this on my own, and honestly, I’m not expecting you to have anything to do with this. What’s done is done, and neither of us can change it, but I won’t pretend like it didn’t happen.”
Shiloh rambled, but I got the gist of it. I assumed she was about to tell me she was pregnant. I just needed her to say it before I could process my emotions.
“There are some things I will never knock a woman for, but I genuinely couldn’t see myself acting on it. I just can’t.We made some irresponsible choices, and now I’m left with the consequences, but again, I’m not asking you for anything.”
“Shiloh, what are you saying?” She was saying a bunch but nothing at all.
“Rashad, I’m pregnant, and it’s yours.” It appeared that an instant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Hearing the confirmation, my heart skipped a beat. My feelings were ambivalent. I couldn’t find the words, and before I could, Shiloh spoke again.
“I’m not expecting you to stay around. In fact, once I leave this restaurant, we can pretend like nothing happened to begin with.”
A perplexed expression took over my features.Was Shiloh saying she didn’t want me to be a father to my kid she was carrying?
“Whatchu mean?” I had to ask for clarity.
“I’m saying our carelessness got us into a sticky situation, but it’s now my responsibility. For you, it can be out of sight out of mind. I’m willing and capable of raising this baby without you.” As she spoke the last part, she pointed to her stomach that showed no signs of pregnancy.
My hearty laughter echoed off the walls of the small space, but just as quickly as it started, it stopped. The wrinkles on my forehead became prominent, and I felt the beads of sweat form on my forehead due to anger.
“Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly.” I sat up so nothing I said or asked would go unheard. “You’re carrying my seed.” I pointed her way. “You’re going to keep it, and you expect me not to be a present father because we made amistake?You wantourchild to grow up fatherless because you can do it on your own? That’s the implication, right?”
Instead of answering right away, Shiloh tucked her lips before smoothing them over in a motion one would do when applying Chapstick. She shrugged
“The way you say it sounds all bad.” She laughed nervously. “We barely know each other. You’re a criminal about to be on trial and more than likely put away for a long time… It just seems to be the best way to handle this situation. I’m not asking you for help, Rashad.”
My eyes narrowed in on her. It was taking every strength I had in my body to control my composure. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I lifted the glass and finished my drink before running my tongue across my teeth and standing. Shiloh’s eyes followed my stance. My eyes never left hers as I pressed my hands firmly on the table leaning in her way.
