Page 71 of A Trial of the Heart
Like a child that was about to talk to someone she was forbidden to, Shiloh’s eyes surveyed the room.
“What can I help you with, Mr. Carter?” She had her lawyer voice on.
I chuckled. Shiloh had bounced on my dick more times than we could count and carried my seed but wanted to be professional. “Why didn’t you tell me what you knew?”
Once I got the video proof back, Shiloh had been the last person I expected to see connected to the betrayal. She may not have been directly connected, but her not speaking up made her just as guilty. Truthfully, once I saw her, I felt all things she and I had experienced had been a lie, and she was playing from the start of it all for the benefit of herself and the office she worked for.
Guilt seemed to instantly take over. “I wanted to… I was going to…”
“But?” I didn’t give her the chance to finish what she was preparing to say, because the way I saw it, there was no good reason on why she moved the way she had.
“I was boxed in a corner. I wanted to do the right thing. I honestly should have the second I found the connection, but I couldn’t. It was you or me.”
Hearing the last part of her sentence caused me to unintentionally glare at her in anger. “So, you were cool with having my reputation ruined and willing to put an innocent black man behind bars to continue working at a place you don’t even like?”
Shiloh hadn’t been afraid to express her love for law but dislike for where she worked each time we spoke.
Shiloh shrugged, her eyes dropping from mine. “It wasn’t personal, Rashad.”
“It wasn’t personal,” I repeated with a chuckle. “It, in fact, is personal. It became that way when you failed to speak up. I get it shit is tough in the streets and getting a job may have been hard, but you coulda fought harder for this shit. You’re carrying my child, and you were okay with me going down for something you knew I didn’t do. You speak on integrity a lot, even seemed like an honest woman, but the truth is you fake as fuck.”
“What?” Shiloh had the audacity to sound offended. Her eyes swiftly raised back to mine.
“You heard me.” I stepped closer to her, forcing her to lift her head and her eyes to raise further to mine. “I wouldn’t have given a damn if I lost everything. You couldn’t pay me no amount of money to be a sellout, coon, Uncle Tom ass man simply to keep a job with some racist fuckers that would sell me into slavery if they had the chance. You had the chance to speak up and make a difference, but you chose to selfishly pick yourself.”
Shiloh’s bottom lip seemed to quiver. The more I spoke, the faster it moved. She even sucked her lip between her teeth in hopes it would stop.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked, her body language shifted, and her eyes watered.
“Yeah. Me too. Thought you and I had a connection. Whole time, I was a pawn in your poor ass game for you to win points with massa.”
“Rashad, I’m sorry.” She spoke a little louder.
“Sorry won’t change what could have been had I not been ten steps ahead of y’all.”
“What was I supposed to do? You out of all people know how hard it is for us out here, especially in a white, male-dominated career.”
Was she really trying to justify what she’d done?
“Yeah, and like I know how hard it is in the career world for us, you…” I pointed and spoke louder “…of fall people know what they do to us black men. Job or not, you should have spoken the fuck up, but you chose not to. I could’ve lost everything I worked for and been labeled as a criminal for the rest of my life, and you were going to keep quiet?” The last part caused me to shake my head at the realization of things.
“Rashad, I’m so?—”
“Save that shit, Shiloh.” I didn’t have time for another empty apology. “Check it. Whatever the hell we had or not is dead. Only connection you and I have from here on out is that baby.” I pointed to her stomach. “Take care of yourself, Shiloh.”
I brushed past her. I wasn’t sure how Shiloh and I would co-parent, but I’d figure it out as being the father of her child was all I had to give. Casually walking from the court room, I left Shiloh where she stood with tears in her eyes and a blank expression.
Chapter
Thirty-Five
Shiloh:
The elevator came to what felt like an abrupt stop, reaching the floor to where the office was. With a heavy sigh, I stepped off the elevator, and the weight that rested upon my shoulders seemed to increase. I’d played a stupid game and was unfortunate to win a stupid prize. I knew I should have spoken up about Rashad’s case to make it go away, but that small piece of needing to be valued at the office prevented me. My feet felt like cement as I took the short walk to my office; it seemed much further away than it was. The few people I passed gave me dirty looks or turned away from me completely. Word had to have already gotten around the office.
“Shi-Shiloh?” Isla looked like she’d seen a ghost once I rounded the corner. She was so spooked she stuttered.
“Good morning.”
