Page 100 of Golden Queen
But it was gone in an instant, the cold, almost glacial look in his features returned, and he released me.
"Will you evacuate the people then?" he asked, stepping away from me and putting his hands in his pockets. "And will you let me take you to safety in Orin while the armies march south?"
I considered my options before nodding. "If Arkadian will agree to take his forces to Athelen, and as long as Tatana, Set, and my ladies can be safely gotten away from the city, then yes, I will go. I'll begin the evacuation today."
He breathed what sounded like a sigh of relief as he stared down at Windemere's Royal Crest inset into the table. It was the Lithaway Ospherion clutching godsgrass in its curved talons.
"If you'll let me coordinate with your generals, my riders will do what we can to help get your people out."
I nodded. "Thank you, My Lord. That will be very welcome."
He shook his head as a bit of sorrow bled into his stoic features. "Don't do that, Sera. Don't call me that—not when we're alone. Are we not, at least, still friends?"
That was what it took to break me, apparently.Are we not, at least, still friends?
I crumpled in on myself, feeling my chest cave in even as I made no outward sign of it. "Of—of course we are," I said, feeling a constriction tighten in my throat.
I reached out to the table, needing to anchor myself to something as my head began to swim.
"Hey," he said, hands coming out to catch me. I had not realized I was sinking to the floor. "Breathe, Sera.”
Blackness began to crowd the edges of my vision, and I felt him shaking me. "Fates, Sera, fucking breathe!"
I tried. I was trying. I trulywastrying.
I felt his hands on my face and sudden warmth bleeding through my skin. Light replaced the darkness at edges of my vision as sweet, blessed relief flooded through me.
Air—grateful, welcome air—rushed into me, and I breathed.
I realized I was seated on the edge of the table, and his arms were holding me. All I could do was slump forward against him, feeling his chest beneath my head.
"Keep breathing, Sera." He ran a hand down the back of my head soothingly. "That's all you need to do right now. Just air in, air out. You're alright. Just breathe."
So I did. I just breathed while I listened to his strong, even heartbeat and felt his chest rising and falling beneath my cheek.
I gradually loosened the hands fisted in his shirt, letting life bleed back into my numb fingers.
"I'm sorry," I told him, feeling soul-deep shame for displaying that kind of weakness in front of him, being such a burden to him when he must already feel overwhelmed himself.
"There is nothing to be sorry about," he said, running his hand down my back. "You've had a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. Anyone would be excused for feeling a little overwhelmed."
He had, thankfully, misunderstood my panic. I didn't give a single shit about Penjan or Windemere, or even my own people at that moment.
All I had been capable of feeling was soul-shattering pain over the loss of him. But I would never admit that to him—or to anyone.
I could never admit that, in that moment, I would have gladly set the godsgrass on fire myself if it meant I could keep him.
We stayed that way for several minutes until I felt him start to pull away. Panic seized me again, and I wrapped my arms around him.
"Sera," he said, carefully, his body tensing. "We should—"
I cut him off as I pushed up and kissed him, sliding my arms up and around his neck to pull him to me. I didn't care about anything else in the world.
Fuck Behr Aldur. I hated him in that moment.
It only took Io a fraction of a heartbeat, holding himself stiffly resistant, before every muscle in his body relaxed at once, and he kissed me back. Hishands came up behind me, cradling my head as his lips moved over my mouth.
He was my home, my anchor, he was somehow everything. He kissed me deeply, desperately, and I pressed my body to his, wanting him more than I ever had.
