Page 166 of Golden Queen
But, as I looked at him, some clarity came into focus that I had somehow been lacking. Perhaps it was some innate sense of self-preservation that had obscured it from me.
The guilt I felt was not misplaced. Iwasresponsible for it all. I had done nothing to discourage him—not really. A few half-hearted protests?
It was all my fault. I was the one who climbed into that fucking bathtub and begged him to touch me. I was the one who pleaded with him to not give a damn with me.
He had resigned himself to his duty—to deliver me to his brother. I had forced his hand. I should have known he would not dishonor his word for just one more roll in the hay with me. One more night of pleasure.
He was looking at me with an expression of pure regret. That gorgeous face, those depthless dark eyes, had no business looking at someone like me...like that. Like he would tear himself apart to apologize for what he had done. I did not deserve that. Even if I was not broken and corrupted by my own lack of honor, I would not have deserved someone like him.
I went to him, big arms coming around me automatically as I folded myself into him. "That wasn't true," I told him, laying my cheek against his chest and searching out the calming sound of his heart.
He placed his hand at the back of my head and laid his cheek against my hair with a sigh. "I would love to say that I would take you to Orin, that all you would need to do is ask, but I cannot do that, Sera. I'm sorry for that—or at least some part of me wants to be sorry for that."
I knew that. And the real truth was that I didn’t want him to be able to let me go. If he caved, and was willing to take me to Orin, then I could no longer lean on the excuse that I was simply being forced into doing the only thing my heart wanted to do.
I took a deep breath and released him, but before I slid my arms away, I pushed myself up and kissed him. "Let's go," I said.
As I climbed onto Veles and readied to leave, the thoughts regarding how I could possibly manage to extricate myself from the situation—to extricatehimfrom the situation—crawled up my throat to choke me.
We followed the valley as it curved around to the northeast, the sky darkening to a deeper shade of blue that made the wispy white clouds stand out even brighter against the sky.
"We're entering the Twilight Gap now," Io said.
The Twilight Gap was a narrow strip of land that separated the Thyella Sea in the west from the Great Sea to the east. As the only overland route between the two halves of Alterra, it was the disputed territory that would transfer back to Windemere after my marriage to King Behr.
A wide band of milky stars shone in the distance, making an arch that streaked across the horizon.
"We won't see another dawn," Io added, as we flew toward the darkening sky.
I detected a note of pride in his voice. I already knew how much Darkwatch meant to him, but when I glanced back at his face as we flewtowards twilight, I felt a surge of my own warm joy at sharing the homecoming with him.
We flew across much of the same snow-capped mountainous landscape as the sky faded from gold and pink to a deep blue that perfectly matched Io's irises. It was as though part of the sky had been taken down to create them.
The narrow track of a road could be glimpsed in places where the snow had blown away. We followed it through the pass until suddenly Veles veered off sharply to the left, angling downward. Eroa flew straight ahead, not seeming to acknowledge the detour of the big dragon. "Are we stopping?" I asked.
"To sleep, yes."
"In the snow?" I asked, eyeing the sloping snow covered mountains below.
"No," he said, cryptically, but I heard a smile in his voice.
Veles angled down to the darkened side of a mountain and landed on the slope. For one horrified moment, I thought we would go sliding over the edge. But then he used his massive claws to scramble up the rock to a small ledge with the dark outline of a cave mouth on the mountain's steep side.
Io unfastened the strap over my legs before he swung his leg across the saddle. He grabbed our packs and reached for me, lending me a hand to climb down the side of the dragon to a flat rock at the cave mouth.
Veles swung his head around and Io gave him a pat on the side of his face as I shrugged on my fur coat.
The dragon purred, peeling his lips back, and angling his head to the side. He looked like he was smiling as Io leaned his forehead against his snout. "I love you too, beast," he said.
Io turned and pulled me towards the cave opening as Veles angled his body back down the slope. He slid down in a shower of rocks, extending his wings only when he reached the edge of the steep precipice.
My heart lurched in my chest as Veles tipped over the ledge and disappeared. I started to push forward, horrified to imagine him broken on the floor of the valley below.
A massive burst of wind buffeted my hair, pushing me back as he surged up, beating his enormous wings, rising into the sky.
Io laughed as he saw my expression. "He's just trying to impress you. I think the big dog is half in love with you himself."
"Well call me impressed because the feeling is mutual."
