Page 124 of Golden Queen
“But all dragons have magic,” he continued. “So there’s a bond there in any case—a link between rider and mount, even if only one of them can feel it.” His voice had a note of amusement as he added, “Something tells me, though, Sera, that you and your little white beast might share a bit more than that when she’s done growing.”
I chewed my lip thoughtfully. I’d never felt more than a simple awareness of her, and a sort of possessiveness—and only when she was close. I hadn’t even given her a name for the gods’ sake.
I closed my eyes, momentarily searching my mind for some sense of her. The sunlight filtering in through my eyelids was tinted a dark, crimson color that reminded me of my blood as it had looked on the floor of that dungeon. I shivered, opening my eyes and blinking in the bright light of the rising sun.
"We'll have to get some warmer gear in Cosdam," Io said from behind me, echoing my earlier thoughts about the cold we would soon face.
I nodded, holding myself forward in the saddle, unsure how much contact I should be making with him with so many people milling about, breaking camp and preparing to depart.
As he tightened the strap across my legs, I was all too aware of his body behind me and the fact that I had no right to its comfort.
But then his arm came around me. He pulled me back against him so that I was cradled in the ‘v’ of his legs, each of them running down the length of mine in a way that was quite pleasantly warm even if I didn't feel that familiar flush of desire.
I wasn't sure I would ever feelthatagain in my life, knowing what waited for me when I lay with someone—the unnatural virginity that had been forced upon me.
I had wantedhimto be my first. Even if I didn't consider my virginity to be some gift bestowed upon him—as many saw it, it had meant something to me to make the choice that he was my first.
They unmade that choice for me so that I could give my virginity to the faceless Prince Refaedon.
And now, I thought with something close to despair, I was being forced to give it to some other faceless husband forced upon me just as unwillingly. And I knew he would be glad to find me whole.
Io had never once made me feel like something had been broken in me after I gave him my virginity—or that he was honored to be the one deflowering me.
He had accepted the gift of my body—offered to him not for his honor, but for mutual pleasure, and simply because we wanted to be together. It had never been a conquest for him.Ihad never been a conquest for him.
He had certainly never looked at me as though I was ruined afterwards.
But they had called me ruined, unclean—as though the touch of another person could render someone spoiled. And then they forced maidenhood back on me, stealing the choice I'd made as though it had never been mine at all.
I didn't even know what they had done to me. Had they stitched me up inside? Had they tried to repair my broken skin—to regrow it? Would anyone I lay with find me mangled inside?
Whatever they did to me, it made me feel ruined for the first time ever.
Veles rose up on his hind legs, extending his wings, readying himself to take flight.
"Are you cold, Sera?"
"No, I'm fine." I realized I was shaking, so I focused on the feel of the dragon's muscles flexing and bunching beneath us. The magic of his great billowing wings cracking the air like thunder. The sheer power of his body as he forced his way up into the sky.
I waved once more to the people on the ground watching us go. Malach striding across the camp in the direction of his own dragon, ready to take up the duty of guarding my people.
Veralie’s wagon, laden with a group of children, harnessed to an old, sway-backed mare who looked exhausted before the journey had even begun.
The nobles and common folk of Albiyn crowded together, indistinguishable from each other in the mass of refugees.
I looked south, wondering if Arkadian was safe—if Tatana and Set, in their carriage with Gwen and little Mattias, were still traveling the Godswayto meet him. It gave me a horrible, sinking feeling to realize the entire Penjani horde lay between us.
I turned, once again facing north, feeling my mind calm and my chest lighten. It was impossible to feel anything but awe as we raced through the sky, the entire world, and all its problems, so far below.
I smiled as the wind whipped my hair around me. He was not shielding us, as though he knew that was exactly what I needed. To feel the wild, bracing wind.
I reached up to pull my hair down to the side to contain it, realizing belatedly that I should have braided it, if only to keep it out of Io's face.
But when I turned, I met his eyes and the smile spread from my face to his.
He leaned down to my ear so that I could hear him over the sound of the wind. "This is truly where you belong, Sera."
Once again, it was praise I wasn't sure I had ever deserved. I wanted to belong on dragon back—and I knew someday when the little white blur that kept pace with us was large enough, I would be in the sky—as often as I could be.
