Page 186 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha
But as soon as I thought about all the people who would need to know, the weight of those worries began to creep back in.
I ran a hand through my hair. Night and I hadn’t been together very long, and with everything going on, we hadn’t really gotten to know each other. I mean, I should know if Night—my mate—even wanted children, shouldn’t I?
I dragged in a deep breath and tried to get my thoughts together. Mom would be worried if I spent too much longer in the bathroom, so I knew I might as well head out now.
In the kitchen, she took one look at me, then let out a cheer and got up from the table. She pulled me in for a tight hug, and I laughed and embraced her.
“Congratulations, love!”
“Thanks, Mom. It doesn’t feel real.”
“That’s not surprising. But you should know that everything will be fine.” She kissed the top of my head, then pulled back and took my face in her hands. “As exciting as this news is…how do you feel?”
“Happy! Well, mostly happy.”
“Only mostly?”
“I mean, it’s just a lot right now.” I pulled away and sat at the table. She scooted her chair to sit next to me. “Night and I…our claiming ceremony was only a few days ago. I thought we’d have more time together before we had a baby.”
My mother rubbed soothing circles on my back. “I understand where you’re coming from, honey, and I’m sorry the universe doesn’t work that way. The Fates want you to have a baby rightnow, and you’ll have to embrace it to see what destiny has in store for you.”
I nodded. It was exactly the kind of thing Mom would say. On one hand, it was comforting to hear things were proceeding exactly as they were meant to, but on the other, it felt like my life was no longer in my control—if it ever had been. Things were progressing quickly, and there were still so many things I didn’t understand about myself. Could I really bring a baby into the world when I was still so uncertain about myself?
“What’s wrong, honey? Aren’t you happy?”
“I am, but…I guess I wish I had more insight into what fate has planned for me—or my baby. I mean, there’s so much to worry about, and knowing that there’s more in store, I can’t help but worry about it.”
She nodded. “After the things you’ve endured, Bryn, I don’t blame you for worrying. But you need to remember that you’ve come out on the other side of your hardship a stronger, savvier woman. No matter what destiny has in store for you, you’ve proven again and again that you’re strong enough to survive it.”
“But I’d like to have some comfort inknowingthat.”
“I think we’d all like that, honey. It would be wonderful if we could have some sign that everything will work out, but that isn’t how fate works.” She had stopped rubbing my back as she talked about fate, but now she resumed. “Is there anything that might ease your worries a bit? Something else you could focus on for now?”
“I mean, there’s still tons and tons of paperwork I haven’t had the chance to?—”
She poked the back of my neck. “No, silly—something other than work. Something that makes you happy or gives some respite to your soul.”
“Oh.” I mulled that over. Something that would give “respite to my soul?” I enjoyed reading and cooking and taking care of children, but I didn’t think those things would take my mind off my work or worries about the future.
I had other questions about myself, things I’d never been able to answer. I had no idea what fate had planned for me. With so many unknowns, I wished I had more control over my life—and I wished I understood myself a bit more.
“I think…” I began slowly. “I’d like to know more about my birth parents.”
Her soothing strokes slowed on my back. Fearing I’d hurt her feelings, I turned to her.
“Oh, Mom, you’ve been wonderful and amazing. Believe me. It’s just that…now that I’ve got my own baby on the way, I wish I knew more about who I am. I want to be able to tell my baby about its biological grandparents and the kind of people they were.”
Mom nodded and gave me a small smile. “Don’t worry, Bryn, I’m not taking any offense. I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t have answers for you; the heavens only know how badly I wish I did have them. But, honey, I’m committed to helping you in whatever way I can.”
I smiled, relieved that I hadn’t hurt her feelings and she would help me. “Thanks, Mom. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart. But I want to add one thing.”
“Yes?”
“You don’t need to know your biological parents to be a good mother. You have plenty of experience watching pups, and you’re a very patient and nurturing young woman. You’re going to be a great mother. I know it.”
“I hope that’s true, but I can’t seem to stop doubting myself.” I forced a laugh, but it sounded fake even to me. To break the awkwardness, I asked, “Do you think Night will be happy to hear the news?”
