Page 370 of Claimed By the Rival Alpha
“Oh, yes. Bryn’s doing great, but right now, all we can do is wait. Tavi and I were just twiddling our thumbs while the doctors did all the real work.”
I looked longingly at the door. “But maybe she wants someone to hold her hand.”
“Bryn has Tavi and nurses to do that for her. My son, on the other hand…” She looked at me with a knowing smile.
I looked down at the white tiled floor. “You can’t hold my hand if I’m tied up.”
“I know. But if I undo the ropes, do you promise to behave?”
I nodded. It didn’t matter if I broke the promise. She’d have much better control over me than Dom and Lance combined.
Lance had known what to do with that rope. He’d tied such a firm knot around my wrists that I couldn’t break it, but it took Mom only seconds to pull it free. I flexed my hands and rubbed my wrists.
“So, want to talk about it?” Mom asked.
“About Bryn?”
She smiled. “I know she’s your favorite subject, especially right now, but I’m talking about you. How are you holding up?”
“Oh.” I ran a hand through my hair. “If you want to know the truth, I feel like I’m going out of my mind.”
“Of course you are. Any man in your position would be. But is there more behind your worry than just Bryn and the baby? Anything about yourself? About fatherhood?”
I almost wished she hadn’t been so specific. My anxiety for Bryn had taken up all my mental real estate, but now that Mom had brought it up, my insecurities came rushing to the forefront of my brain.
Mom’s smile saddened when I didn’t immediately answer. “It’s been weeks since you’ve confided in me, Night. We used to talk about so much, but lately, you’ve been so hush-hush.”
I winced, guilt lancing through my chest. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I’ve been busy…”
“I know. Between the merger, Troy, the ferals, Bryn’s pregnancy, and everything else on your plate, you’ve had a lot going on. Still, can you blame me for feeling a little disconnected from you?”
“No. I can’t.”
“So, tell me. How are you really, Night?”
Once again, I didn’t answer her right away, but only because I was collecting my thoughts. She seemed to understand that, because she waited quietly for me to speak.
I sighed. “I don’t want to fuck this up. I know I’m not a perfect alpha, and I’m far from being a perfect man. I’ve hurt and disappointed Bryn more times than I ever want to count. There are secrets I kept from her that threatened our relationship.”
“Oh, Night.” She put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “That must be tough on you.”
Her acknowledgment of my pain struck a chord in me. It wasn’t so hard to keep going now that I’d started. “There are times when all I can do is focus on the ways I’ve failed my people and Bryn, and when I get that low, I think about Gregor. I don’t want to be the sort of father he was—a man who abandoned one of his sons and drove the other one insane. I wouldn’t be capable of that today, obviously, but there was a time when Gregor wasn’t capable of being what he became, either.
“When you loved him, he was good. But then he changed and threw everyone who loved him away. What if I go down the same path? Am I even capable of being a good father when I have Redwolf blood in me?”
“Of course. You are more than capable.” Her answer came so quickly and decisively that I almost believed her. “You’ve donewhat even I thought was impossible: merge two packs with decades of hate and tragedy between them without a war. You chose to rehabilitate those feral children rather than kill them, even though killing them would be easier. You have lived your life making tough choices that anyone else would have crumbled in the face of.”
“But not all of those decisions were right.”
“That’s okay. No one is perfect, baby.”
She squeezed my shoulder again, then touched my hair. She stroked the top of my head the way she used to when I was a kid, when I’d rush to her room after having a nightmare.
“Before you left to take care of Troy, Bryn told me and Glenda that you kept Lance’s identity a secret from her.”
I grimaced. “Yeah?”
“The two of us were pretty ticked off with you.”
