Page 34 of All That Glitters
WHOOSH!
A fireball erupted, a mushroom cloud of orange flame that momentarily singed the tips of Mark’s prized mustache and sent him leaping backward off his stool with a startled yelp. The entire bar fell silent, the thumping music and chatter replaced by a stunned quiet. Every head in the room turned to stare at the small, accidental arsonist in the short black dress.
The bartender, moving with the speed of someone who had handled too many alcohol-related emergencies, grabbed a towel and began patting the fire. Unfortunately for him, it was a towel he had already used several times that night to wipe up spilled drinks. When the towel caught on fire, he tossed it onto the carpet, which then quickly caught on fire. Meanwhile, the fire raced across the bar, igniting napkins, then menus, then coasters, then the decorative dried flowers, then the curtains that separated the bar from the VIP lounge. The flames climbed hungrily, feeding on anything flammable they could reach.
An alarm sounded, and sprinklers kicked on, raining water down on the panicked patrons as they rushed for the exits. Debbie stood frozen in horror, watching the disaster unfold. Veronica appeared suddenly at her side, grabbing her arm.
“We need to go. Now,” she said, dragging Debbie toward the door. “Before they start asking for names and insurance information.”
“Next time, can I just sneeze on him?” Debbie asked as they raced out the door.
Chapter thirteen
Flowers and Monster Truck Shirts
A soft, hesitant knock came at Debbie’s apartment door. She looked up from the couch, where she was in the throes of a hangover from Operation: Flirt and Burn Down the Bar. The smell of burnt plastic and singed mustache still lingered in her hair.
With a groan, she rose from the couch and shuffled to the door in her oldest, most comfortable sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, her hair piled in a messy knot on top of her head. She hadn’t even bothered with makeup.
Debbie opened the door a crack, ready to tell whoever it was to go away, and found Tony standing on her doorstep.
He looked sheepish. That was the only word for the combination of contrition, anxiety, and hopeful charm that played across his features. He wore jeans and a faded blue button-up that brought out the warmth in his eyes, his hair slightly tousled as though he’d been running his hands throughit nervously. But it was what he held in his hands that made her blink in confusion.
In his left hand was a long-stemmed red rose, wrapped in tissue paper with a tiny card attached. In his right was a six-pack of her favorite beer and a large bag filled with monster truck rally merchandise, a ‘Monster Jam’ t-shirt peeking out the top.
“Peace offering?” he said, holding up the strange collection of gifts. “I wasn’t sure which way to go, sophisticated or unsophisticated, so I covered all the bases.”
“So you’re buying my forgiveness with a monster truck shirt?”
“And a flower,” he quickly pointed out. “And groveling, if necessary.”
It was too funny to stay pissed, and she was fighting hard not to laugh; but she really wanted to play this one out. “What kind of groveling?”
“The best kind. A full, comprehensive, on-my-knees-if-necessary grovel. Can I come in?”
She let out a long, weary sigh and opened the door wider, stepping back to allow him in. He stepped inside, only now noticing her disheveled appearance.
“Rough night?” he said.
“You have no idea,” she said, shaking her head. She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms defensively. “Okay. Grovel.”
Tony took a deep breath. “I’m an idiot, Deb,” he began. “A complete and total idiot. And somehow, my friends are even bigger idiots. What Jeff said about me saying you’re not sophisticated, that wasn’t meant as an insult. It’s your charm. It’s why we can hang out and make each other laugh until we snort. And crash out in my dad’s car. Sophisticated people don’t do that. They go to operas and foreign films that someone told them they’re supposed to like.” He took a breath. “What I’msaying, in my own babbling way, is you’re real, Deb. And I don’t want you to ever change.”
Her frown faded into a soft smile. “That was a good grovel. But I still get to keep the flower and shirt.”
Tony laughed. “Deal.”
“Did you know your friends were calling to ask me out?”
This was the question Tony had really hoped wouldn’t come up. He shifted awkwardly for just a moment. “Yeah. I was hoping you’d blow them off, so I didn’t have to kill them.”
She eyed him curiously. “Why would you need to kill them?”
Tony shifted a bit more. “I don’t know. Because it’s you?”
“You were going to kill your friends because I’m me?”
“I’m not making any sense, am I?”
