Page 29 of A Virgin for the Duke of Depravity
She kept her gaze averted, knowing that Theresa would not understand.
Theresa had given up everything she knew to come to London, and it had worked out well for her. What would it be like for Margaret to be under the Earl’s thumb, in a marriage that he arranged for her?
She knew it would be nothing like Leo. That she would never kiss another man quite the same way. And if she could not do that, what was the point of getting married? She vastly preferred the austerity of the convent, even though she often got into trouble there.
She took a deep, steadying breath and moving from her spot on the floor. With one hand, she swiped away her tears, and with the other, she reached out to pull Theresa close. The two women stood in the hall, arms wrapped around each other, for a while.
It was the only way Margaret could comfort herself.
As long as she was among friends and did not leave the estate alone, the old Earl could not find her and would not be able to auction off her hand.
“Let us pick a dress for the opera tonight, shall we?” Theresa asked her when Margaret’s breathing returned to normal and no more tears fell.
The opera was the only thing she had to look forward to tonight, her last chance to enjoy such folly and revelry. Finding a dress to wear to the event would be a welcome distraction, and she would need Theresa’s help to get ready. Margaret was hopeless at making herself look decent.
Theresa and Margaret made their way to her chambers on the other side of the mansion. Theresa opened the wardrobe and started to rifle through the dresses, looking for one suitable for the opera. Finally, she pulled out a beautiful light gray gown with white lace hemming the neckline and sleeves. The neckline plunged to a point nearing indecency, but Margaret did not mind.
Leo would see her in this gown, and shewantedhim to look at her, even if she had forbidden any further touches. She had gone as a nun for so long, making sure that she did not stand out. Nobody in particular wanted her around; she had been forced on the nuns the day she had arrived.
Things were different with Leo. It felt nice to be wanted for the first time since her mother died. Since that moment when her father saw her off on her way to the convent. She relished the feeling, as fleeting as it was.
“What shall we do with your hair?” Theresa mused, undoing the braid Margaret had tried so hard to affix this morning.
“We can help.”
Margaret spun around at the sound of the girlish voices.
Annie entered the room first and reached for Margaret, who moved to sit on the floor so that her head would be at the right height for the little girls to do her hair. Kitty removed the pins from her hair and laid them on the vanity table while Annie ran a silver-handled brush through the curls.
“It seems you are in good hands,” Theresa laughed. “I bet they’ll do a better job than I can. I will take my leave of you then.”
She backed out of the room with a smile for the girls. Annie was already separating Margaret’s hair into sections, working the thick tresses with nimble fingers.
“Who does your hair for you when you aren’t here?” Annie asked while she braided.
“I do it myself,” Margaret said.
“You need help to do your hair properly,” Kitty chided, braiding another section.
The two girls jabbered in their own form of shorthand while they braided Margaret’s hair, and she felt content just to sit in their presence. She asked them what their favorite parts of the gardens were, which trees they liked to climb, and which were their favorite hiding spots.
Annie and Kitty seemed delighted to have someone to talk to, even if it was someone they barely knew.
“Finished,” Annie announced, pinning the last braid in place.
“Thank you, girls,” Margaret said, bending down to hug each of them. “Would you mind staying to help me into my gown? I will need help to fasten the buttons down the back.”
She turned to the bed, quickly took off the gown she was wearing, and donned the light grey one Theresa selected. The girls helped her button it, but the process was slow.
When she was alone, Margaret looked at herself in the mirror—something she rarely did at the convent. Vanity was a sin, but she would repent of it later. Tonight, she was merely satisfied not to recognize her life in the convent.
She relished the opportunity to do more than she could as a nun.
She relished the opportunity to feel wanted. Because Leodidwant her, did he not?
“What is the meaning of this trip to the opera?” Aaron asked as he swirled the whiskey in his glass. “You hate the opera as much as you hate house parties.”
Leo sighed and sank back into his seat. It was nearly impossible to lie to one of his closest friends. Aaron had a knack for seeing through the pretense of others. Perhaps because he harbored so much pain of his own, he seemed acutely aware of Leo’s.
