Page 40 of Thaw My Heart
Darcy is the closest. As I pull her from the water, our bodies press together. Despite the cold, I feel a rush of heat where our skin touches. My hands linger on her waist as I steady her, and I'm acutely aware of every point of contact between us. Her skin is soft and cool beneath my fingers, and I have to resist the urge to pull her closer.
I look down at Darcy, both of us panting from exertion and something else. Her red hair is plastered to her face, droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes. For a moment, the fear and adrenaline morph into a different kind of intensity. Reality crashes back down and I snap into action.
I take Maya in my arms and it becomes entirely too obvious that the blood is coming from her from the way it’s staining my shirt.
I gently set her down on the side of the pool and drag myself up next to her. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Darcy coughing up water, but I’m too focused on my sister to pay any proper attention. I really don’t think Maya is breathing. There is blood seeping from a wound on her forehead. I’m at a complete loss on what to do.
My brain is working at half capacity. I should know what to do. I’ve been trained for this exact situation. It’s my fucking job. But it’s my baby sister and her life is in my hands and I’m completely fucking clueless.
“Cody,” I hear Darcy sob. “Cody, do something! Help her!”
The sound of Darcy’s desperation is enough to snap me out of my stupor. My brain starts working on autopilot and my hands are moving all on their own. I’m pumping my sister’s chest. I’m breathing air into her mouth. A voice deep, deep down inside me is screaming that it isn’t working. My baby sister is dead. But I choose not to hear it. I work wordlessly and methodically, like it’s something as easy as applying a Band-Aid. I have to tell myself that this isn’t my sister. This isn’t my baby sister’s life in my hands. It’s a stranger. Someone I’ve never met and will never meet again. If I don’t, I think I might completely break down and I can’t afford that right now. Maya can’t afford that right now.
I can hear Darcy sobbing behind me. The sound of it is making me sick. I can’t remember if I’ve inhaled at all in the past two minutes. I just have to keep going.
Press my hands to her heart, breathe air into her lungs, press my hands to her heart, breathe air into her lungs, press my hands to her heart, breathe air into?—
All at once, she sits up and coughs up all of the water in her lungs.
I let out a breath of relief that’s somewhere between a sob and a gasp. She’s breathing. Maya is breathing. She’s still alive.
“Maya,” the word slips off my tongue as I pull her into my arms and hold her as tightly as I can without breaking her.
“Cody?” she asks, my name coming out slurred. She’s squinting up at me through half-lidded eyes and I’m all too aware of the blood dripping down into her eyebrow and lashes. It’s getting into her eye. When she blinks, it slips down her cheek like a red tear.
“Jesus Christ, Maya, you scared the hell out of me.” I hold her even tighter, cradling her head to my chest. “Are you okay?” I ask, though I don’t quite expect an answer and one doesn’t come. Maya just slumps into my arms, breathing quickly and heavily. I know I need to get her medical attention—now.
I stand up and hoist her into my arms, moving as gently as possible to not hurt her even further. I start to walk away, but halt when I hear Darcy’s voice, desperate and scared, behind me.
“Wait! Cody, wait! Is she—Maya—is she—what can I do?”
I turn around and all I can see is that Darcy is fine while Maya is not. She is perfectly fucking fine and my sister nearly just died. I’m filled with blinding, hot rage.
“I think you’ve done enough. Both of you,” I growl, my jaw clenched so tight that it’s painful.
Darcy’s mouth drops open and I see the color drain from her face. She’s soaking wet, hair dripping down her chest and back, mascara running down her cheeks. For the first time all week, I see her for how she really is.
A scared fucking mess.
CHAPTER 19
DARCY
‘You’ve done enough.’
Three words replay again and again in my head, like a never-ending song. What did Cody mean by that? Does he thinkI’mat fault?AmI at fault? Is there something I could’ve done to prevent this? Did my best friend almost die because of me?
No. Surely not. I tried to stop her. I did everything I could. Didn’t I? Yes, I did. I think I did. I hope I did. I… I can’t remember. Everything has become one big blur in my mind.
I’m not even sure how long I’ve been sitting here outside of Maya’s hospital room. I remember the paramedics coming. I remember Cody refusing to leave Maya’s side and guests swarming the lobby to see her be loaded into the ambulance. I remember Louis dragging me to his car, and a painfully silent drive to the hospital because no matter how much he asked, I just couldn’t tell Louis what happened. I couldn’t say a word. Then, once we arrived at the hospital, I just sat down right there on the cold, tile floor outside of Maya’s room that I wasn’t allowed into, my hair and clothes reeking of chlorine. My entire body trembles though I can’t discern whether from the cold or adrenaline crash. Louis sat with me for a while, but eventually,he went to find anactualwaiting room. Not me, though. I can’t possibly leave. Not even if I wanted to. Being close to Maya is a comfort to me, like if something happens, I’ll be able to somehow tell. If her heart stops beating, I’ll feel it. But if I move away, I wouldn’t know. She would possibly die and I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye.
I see the sun begin to rise over the skyline through the window at the end of the long hallway. The view looks as though we’re high up, but I don’t remember riding an elevator for that long. It’s entirely possible that I blacked it out. Truth be told, I don’t remember moving from the car to the hospital at all, either. It’s all blank.
Doctors have been coming in and out of the room for what feels like forever. They all offer me reassuring smiles, but it does nothing to ease my worries. The only thing that would make me feel better is to hear that Maya is okay, but they can’t tell me that because I’m not family. Which is a bunch of bullshit because Iamfamily. I’m Maya’s family, and she’s mine. She said so herself. But according to Cody, I’m not. And I’m fucking furious about it. How dare he do this? How dare he treat me like I’m the bad guy? He hasn’t seen Maya inyearsbecause he’s too selfish to go home. Hell, if Milo hadn’t cheated on me, she never would’ve come on this trip in the first place, and it probably would’ve been two more years before Cody bothered to visit Maya. So how amInot family? I’m the one who she calls when her car breaks down or when something bad happens at work or when she just wants to talk about her day. I’m there for everything. And where is he? Nowhere to be found. So how is he more of her family than I am? If anything, it should be the other way around. I’m her family. He’s a goddamn stranger.
‘You’ve done enough.’
Fuck that. And fuck Cody for insinuating that I would ever in a million years let my best friend get hurt. I’m sick of being thebad guy. I didn’t do anything to deserve it. All I’ve done is exist and it seems like even that is too much for him to handle. Well, fine. Fuck him. It’s as simple as that.
