Page 5 of Thaw My Heart
“Course you are!” I exclaim happily. “After all, you had an excellent teacher.” I pat the boy on the back and continue on my way toward the dining room. I know Thommes said to get back to work, but I need to make a quick pit stop first. I missed lunch because of his little ‘mandatory disciplinary meeting’, and there’s no way I’m going back out into the snow on an empty stomach. My stomach growls on cue.
There’s no more than a half dozen guests finishing a late lunch when I arrive. I can’t put a name to any of their faces, so it’s pretty likely most of them just checked in. I greet the cooks as I enter the kitchen (which, surprise surprise, I’m not supposed to be in) and grab whatever’s in sight. They’re halfway through cleaning up. All that’s left is some soggy fruit and cold pieces of chicken. I don’t mind, though. I take as much as I can fit in my hands and find an empty table tucked in the corner of the dining room.
The resort feels so foreign in times like this, when there are no bustling crowds or laughing children or happy couples. It's just me and a couple of loners staring at their phones. It reminds me of home, where every person I passed on the street had their eyeballs pressed all the way to their screens. It got so sadhow mundane it all was. I wanted more from life than status updates and concrete jungles. I wanted nature, with life and love to spare. And I found it. More than once. Colorado isn't my first stop on my little adventure away from home. First, I went to California, then Oregon, then Maine, then New Mexico, and now Colorado. This is the longest I've ever stayed in one place since I left Ohio. This is the place where I have the most memories—good and bad. I've felt things here that I never thought were possible. I know the day will eventually come for me to move on, but I don't want to think about how hard it will be. Nowhere has ever felt as much like home as this place has.
There are, of course, things that I miss. My family, for one. Ireallymiss them, even if I've convinced myself it's better this way. My mom used to call me at least three times a week, but I've stopped picking up. My dad used to send me recipes he found on the internet, but I never responded. I tell myself they're better off without hearing from me anyway. All I do is close myself off, keep them at arm's length. It's easier this way, isn't it? But sometimes, when it's especially cold outside, I can't help but remember the taste of my mom's favorite piping hot French onion soup. In those moments, the guilt creeps in, reminding me of what I've left behind, of the son I used to be. But then I push it away, telling myself that this distance is for the best. They don't need to deal with the mess I've become. It's better for everyone if I just stay away.
My parents aren’t all I left back in Ohio. My younger sister, Maya, is still there, too. She’s probably my best and only friend these days. I know it’s lame to be friends with your baby sister, but what can I say? She’s a mini-me. I trained her to be the best companion possible. It would be a waste not to follow through. And truthfully, she’s the only one to stick beside me after all these years. I’ve had a lot of friends come and go. My friends back home don’t understand why I’m not around more, why Ican’t catch a flight home for every birthday, wedding or reunion. So they gave up asking. I’ve met some friends on the road, sure, but most didn’t last six months. Maya always stayed, though, no matter how much I hurt her. Maybe sometimes she’d scream and yell and tell me how much she hated me, but she was always the one to answer as soon as I called. I’m glad that even though I’m a thousand miles away, our relationship hasn’t changed. We’re just as close as we’ve ever been. In fact, she’s coming to visit me for the first time since I settled here. In less than a week, we’ll be reunited.
And she won’t be alone.
Accompanying her will be her best friend, Darcy. Darcy and I go way back. She was like another sister to me growing up. She was my first kiss in a middle school game of Spin the Bottle. Then things changed, and confusing feelings turned to hate faster than we could even begin to process. And I moved away without ever fixing it, not the smartest move, considering she and my sister are practically attached at the hip. Catching one without the other is rare. My parents used to say when we were kids that Maya and Darcy were soulmates, destined to find each other in every life. I don’t know about that—I’m not as philosophical as they are—but there’s definitely something about them. They just fit.
I had someone like that once, but it didn’t last.
Maybe I just wasn’t made to be half of a whole. Maybe I’m whole on my own. But I hope that’s not true. I don’t want to be alone. I want to have the everlasting thought that no matter what, there’s someone who will stand beside me through everything.
That’s what Darcy and Maya have.
I know it’s going to be difficult seeing them like that when I’ve been so existentially alone lately, but I’m excited nonetheless. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my family. Isimply don’t have the funds to make it home anytime I’d like. It’s been nearly two years. I can’t imagine how much things have changed.
I know I have changed, though. Immeasurably.
I haven’t always been the best man. My intentions weren’t malice in the slightest, but I know that they used to come across that way to many people—Darcy included. My goal now, during her visit here, is to convince her that I’m not the same guy I was when I left Ohio. I’m better now. I’m somebody that she would want around if I could just be given the opportunity. Maybe we can be friends again.
It's strange to think about Darcy and Milo together. I remember Milo from high school - we were on the wrestling team together for a couple of years. He was always a bit of a player, popular with the girls and arrogant as hell. I never would have pegged him as Darcy's type. When Maya told me they were engaged, I was shocked. And now, hearing about what he did to her... it makes my blood boil. Cheating on Darcy? I can't wrap my head around it. Sure, I've made my fair share of mistakes in relationships. Sometimes I've been distant, forgot to call, or put my own needs first. But cheating? That's a line I'd never cross. The thought of Darcy being hurt like that... it stirs something vicious in me that I didn't know was there.
She deserves so much better than that. Part of me wants to hunt Milo down and teach him a lesson he'll never forget. But I know that's not my place. Still, if I ever cross paths with him again, I can't promise I'll keep my cool.
From what Maya has told me, though, she’s not herself, and I have my work cut out for me.
Luckily, I love a good challenge.
CHAPTER 3
DARCY
“Darcy, would youpuh-lease?” Maya groans in exasperation, tightening her hold on my wrist and trying relentlessly to yank me away from the Colorado Springs airport gift shop.
“Maya, wouldyouplease?” I reply with just as much annoyance—if not more. Who is she to tell me when I have to leave? I’m having a perfectly grand time staring at the cookies and cream chocolate bars. Milo loved cookies and cream chocolate bars.Ugh. How pathetic. I’m going to cry over airport chocolate bars, and my best friend has no compassion left for me.
“Don’t snip at me!” Maya chides. “I let you sigh dramatically over the snow globes, tiny mugs,andtrail mix. Chocolate bars are where I draw the line. What happened to being angry? What happened to...himbeing a waste of space? Why is chocolate, of all things, setting you off like this?”
I shrug pathetically. Some people get hotter after a heartbreak. I, however, revert further and further into a whiny child. I just consider myself lucky that I’ve seen Maya in just as bad shape. At least both of us are delusional idiots.
Maya sighs. Her eyes soften and her lips tighten. “I get this was supposed to be your honeymoon, babe, but if you sulk the whole trip, you won’t have fun. And more importantly,Iwon’t have fun. Why don’t we use the power of positive thinking and nip this depressing negativity in the bud, okay?”
The power of positivity would be ideal, but unfortunately, I’m a natural-born pessimist. Rumor has it that as a child, instead of making lemonade out of lemons, I simply squeezed the lemon juice into the eyes of any poor bastard I could find. Approaching difficult situations with sensibility is most certainly not my forte. I’m more of a “bitch about it until it goes away” kind of person.
But Maya is looking at me with her sweet little face. I hate it. Just a single flutter of her lashes, paired with a subtle tilt of her head and a faint dimpled frown, and I find myself caving in completely. She’s like a puppy. How do I say no to a puppy?
I make my discontentment as apparent as possible by heaving a large, dramatic sigh. Then I nod because I’m a total pushover. “Fine. I’ll do my best. But don’t expect any big miracle. I am who I am, and it’s in my blood to pout. Every woman on my father’s side was gifted with a miraculous brood.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Maya laments. “But thank you. And really, D, I think if you just try to put aside all of your preconceived ideas of this trip, we might actually have a really good time. This could be the turning point in this whole shitty situation. Maybe you’ll meet a hot guy. Have some rebound sex. Doesn’t that sound fun eh? Hot, steamy rebound sex?”, she nudges me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch an older man shooting us a look of disgust. I stifle a groan of annoyance at Maya for making my personal life the business of strangers. She’s so clueless sometimes. I can’t even begin to think how she hasn’t gotten herself into trouble with that big mouth of hers.
“Absolutely not,” I seethe. “The last thing I need in my life is another man. I think I’ve had enough of men to last me ten lifetimes. They’re untrustworthy losers—every single one of them—and I’d be happy to never see another one for as long as I live. And I would suggest you do the same if you know what’s good for you. They’ll take advantage of you. Chew you up and spit you out and then gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault for climbing into their mouths in the first place. They’re manipulative, conniving, immature liars who need to be eradicated from the planet.”
