Page 82 of Seeds of Love
“Alex,” I start, her name escaping my lips before I can stop it.
She looks up, her eyes meeting mine. “Yeah?”
I take a deep breath, searching for the right words. I want to tell her everything—how she makes my chest tight just by existing, how I’ve never felt this way about anyone. But the words stick in my throat.
Because what kind of asshole would I be, laying that on her when I can’t follow through? When I’ve got my family depending on me, my future mapped out in ways that don’t include fairy tale endings?
“I’ve been thinking...” I manage.
“About the presentation?” she asks, but there’s a knowing look in her eyes that kills me.
I shake my head. “About us.”
She nods slowly, a small smile playing at her lips. “Me too.”
The admission hangs between us, charged with possibility. She deserves so much better than what I can give her. But I’m not strong enough to stay away.
“You’ve changed,” I say softly, like a coward who can’t admit he’s falling for her. “Since last year.”
“So have you,” she counters. “You’re different. More open.”
Her words hit home, and for a moment, I consider telling her the truth. About how she’s made me question everything I thought I knew. About how fucking terrified I am of disappointing her.
Instead, I let myself be drawn closer, watching the gold flecks in her eyes, memorizing every detail of her face. Because I’m selfish. Because I want her even though I know I shouldn’t.
When she closes the distance between us, I kiss her back like a man drowning. Like maybe if I kiss her hard enough, she won’t notice I’m not the prince charming she deserves.
My resolve crumbles as memories of our first time flood back. I want her. God help me, I want all of her. Not just her body, but her heart, her future, everything she is.
But I can’t have that. Not when I’m barely holding my own life together. Not when I might have to sacrifice everything for my family.
So I’ll take what I can get, knowing it makes me the worst kind of selfish. Knowing that someday, this will probably break us both.
“Alex,” I murmur, my heart pounding against my ribs. My resolve to keep things friendly crumbles.
I hesitate before kissing her again, knowing this will cross a line. These kisses won’t be sweet and friendly anymore; they’ll be consuming, claiming, owning. But Alex surprises me, taking control with a confidence that makes my head spin.
She pushes me gently onto my back, her eyes never leaving mine. My dick thickens in my pants, and I groan at the tightness.
Each soft kiss she trails down my chest feels like fire, like she’s marking me. My breath catches as she moves lower, her intentions made clear and sexy as hell.
“Alex,” I manage to gasp out, overwhelmed by her boldness. “You don’t have to?—”
She looks up at me through dark lashes, a mischievous glint in her eyes that I’ve never seen before. “I want to,” she says, her voice husky in a way that makes my whole body tense. “Let me make you feel good, Freddie.”
The sight of her like this—confident, wanting, in control—nearly undoes me. This isn’t the shy, awkward Alex I met last year. This is a woman who knows exactly what she wants. The transformation is intoxicating.
I put my hands behind my head, enjoying the view as she kneels on the bed and peels off my clothes. My dick springs out, so fucking ready for her. I am always so hard for this woman.
She puts my dick in her mouth, and I throw back my head. Her wet tongue glides across my head, and I nearly explode in her mouth there. She moans onto me as she starts moving up and down, and my cock throbs.
“Alex,” I warn, my voice strained as pleasure builds. My hands fist in the sheets, struggling to maintain control.
She sucks faster, and I watch her head bob up and down on my cock. It is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. She sends me deeper into bliss when she uses one of her hands to hold my dick steady and help her take more of me into her mouth.
My hips start pushing into her, encouraging her to take more of me. She makes a noise of pleasure that is the most seductive thing I’ve ever heard.
“Lexie, I’m gonna—” I warn, pulling my dick out of her mouth gently so she doesn’t have to swallow me. But she looks me in the eyes and keeps sucking. Fuck, Lexie Ford is a sex goddess.
