Page 54 of Safety Net
Lincoln and I were building something. A world in which being seen wasn't synonymous with performing. Because that who where we were at the end of the day, two people trying their best to put on a show that would protect us from looming shame. The stage was much less intimidating with company.
"Just because you've cast yourself as the silly guy who doesn't have the drive to do something different doesn't mean you have to stay that way," I whispered and squeezed his hand. "Lincoln, you of all people are capable of being whoever you want."
He brought my hand up to his chest, pressing it there like he'd done the other night. His heart was still racing like before. "Thank you. Really…thank you. I haven't been feeling like myself today."
"Be whoever you need to be."
Lincoln studied me for a second, searching for something. "We should have that talk?—"
"You two in?" Ellis interrupted, standing at the other end of the piano.
"What's that?" Lincoln asked. He didn't take his gaze off me, but I removed my hand from his, still not comfortable enough tobe showing public affection to him when we didn't know what we were yet.
When I looked away from Lincoln, my gaze met Naomi's in an instant. She knew. She didn't have to give me more than a small smile to tell me she knew. Without a word, Naomi understood I couldn't keep a wide breadth anymore because no part of me wanted to.
"Party at Noel's," Halle said. "They have food and a pre-screen copy of that new superhero movie. Noel's mom's the producer."
Lincoln looked at me. I didn't want to say no, but going out would be a lot of work. I'd spent the last few hours with everyone. I liked how comfortable I was getting with our small group. But something more could push me on the cusp of burnout.
"We could do something just you and me." Lincoln's voice was lowered so only I could hear.
"Really?" I asked, unable to mask the excitement in my tone.
He smiled. "Would you like that?"
"I would," I said. "But I know you like... people."
And with all the work we'd been doing together, he hadn't been around them much.
"I'd rather spend a night with you," he promised, and before I could protest, he said to everyone else, "We're out. You guys have fun though."
"Damn," Ellis said. "You sure? Half your team's going to be there."
"Group chat says they're dying for you to bring your game," Kaya said, trying her best to sound uninterested. I’d gotten used to her enough to notice she only brought up things when she really wanted to do them.
"You love facilitating your game." I nudged my elbow against Lincoln's side.
"I'd love being with you even more," Lincoln countered.
I chewed on my bottom lip, unable to hold in my smile or maintain his gaze.
"We'll send plenty of pics in the group chat," Naomi said before anyone else could protest. She steered the conversation away from Lincoln and onto how they were divvying up the ride situation. Our bubble reclosed as Lincoln said, "I say we stop working on this tonight and do something fun."
"Your kind of fun?"
"Or yours?"
I shook my head and laughed. "My kind of fun mostly consists of solitary acts."
"I don't mind a quiet movie night. Or reading session"
"No," I said as I looked over at how excited his friends were. "I want to do something you think is fun. Something exciting. Just us, but exciting."
He raised a brow. "You sure?"
"I…yes, I think so." I crossed and uncrossed my ankles, trying to calm myself with movement. Was this going to be a date? My excitement multiplied at the thought. Anxiety made itself known, too, but didn't linger for more than a couple of seconds.
"Do you have something in mind?" I asked.
