Page 85 of Of Stars and Lightning
They walked for long enough that Sol lost count of the passing minutes and instead twirled the Shadows between her fingers. They would linger over her wound as if pointing it out to her before continuing to snake over her wrist. After she grew tired of that, she sank her chin to Cas’s shoulder and peered at him. “Why didn’t you do anything to help Felice and Lucas?”
She hadn’t meant to ask so boldly, but as soon as the words were out, she realized she needed an answer. He was meant to be the one person she could trust, but could she? What did she really know about the Shadow Guider?
That my mother killed his father.
Cas glanced at her. “Is that why you’re upset?”
“Why, Cas?”
“Because the whole point of this, Princess, is to get rid of prospects, not to save them.”
Sol bit the inside of her cheek to keep from arguing further. Instead, she just said, “We have to try.”
They’d been going in exasperating circles over the topic since they’d arrived, and it seemed he wasn’t yielding. But neither was she.
“It just doesn’t work like that, Sol.” The edge of frustration in his voice was obvious, making Sol feel like a small child beingchastised. “The faster you accept the way things are, the faster we can move on.”
She unwrapped herself from his hold, jumping to the ground and stepped back from the cloak of his darkness. “I will not accept things the way they are. In fact, I will be doing the opposite.”
Cas looked past her and behind him, ensuring no one else followed before turning back to face her, his jaw tight and hands sparking with violet lightning. Sol eyed them, yearning to touch them as intensely as she had on their ride to Rimemere. A small smile pulled against her lips at the memory. She had been so scared and lost back then. Although it was only weeks ago, it seemed like years. Granted, she still felt a bit of both, but in a different way.
She moved past him, continuing their walk away from his cover of safety. His Shadows seemed to reach for her as he wordlessly followed behind her.
“I think this lack of understanding between us comes from us being raised very differently,” Sol said back to him. “Perhaps if we got to know each other a bit more, we would be willing to find a compromise.”
And I would feel less inclined to still keep you in my peripherals when you walk behind me.
“Is there a compromise to you wanting to save people I want to kill?” Instead of dwindling behind her, he sidestepped to walk beside her, but still maintained the distance she had placed between them. He toyed with a ball of lightning on his fingertips. “Seems like the kind of thing that requires one of the two parties to give in.”
Sol tapped a hand at her side. “Well, let's shelve that and start with other things, then.”
They came to a fork in the tunnels, all three paths illuminated by torches and carrying the soft scent of wet mud. Cas looked at each path, then finally chose the one to their right. “Alright,” he said as he motioned her that way.
Okay. This was her chance to pry. But where should she start? “You’re from Eswin,” she started, trying to come up with exactly what she needed answered to decipher him. He was like a puzzle she didn't have all the pieces to, and having unfinished art unsettled her. Art was meant to be admired, after all—but how could it be if it was lacking the whole story?
He nodded. “That is correct.”
“Tell me more.”
It was clear Cas was not used to this. Sol was. She would often pry personal anecdotes from sailors at the Hound since building trust helped with the tips. It had only been a handful of times she’d purposefully wanted to know of someone’s past for the mere purpose of knowing them. She was almost giddy to know—because there was something. Something about him.
Cas ran a hand through his hair. “My maternal line, the Morozovas, have ruled there forever.”
“That’s the Shadow Guider line, right?”
He peered over at her. “That’s right.”
The tunnel they traveled was getting narrower, forcing them to travel closer together. Sol couldn’t see an end to it, but the torches became more scarce as they continued. “And do you miss it?” Sol asked. “Eswin?”
Cas stopped walking.
He looked past her in a way that made her wonder if he had seen something, but she didn’t see anything when she followed his line of vision. “Cas?”
“Do you miss Yavenharrow?” he asked softly.
The question took her off guard. “Well, yes. But I lived there my whole life.”
He shrugged, the cloud that dimmed his expression passing. “I don’t think the amount of time you spend in a place is indicative of how much you’re allowed to miss it.” He pointed up to the cave’s roof. “The next exit is up there.”
