Page 16 of Alpha's Secret Baby Girl
He nodded once and fell in step beside her.
“I’m not sure I believe you. It’s convenient to say you didn’t mean it seven years later with a daughter in the mix,” she said, softly. And he thought, maybe a bit regretfully, like she wished it wasn’t the case.
“Truthfully, if I’d known you were pregnant, I would have looked harder for you,” he admitted.
Gwen shrugged. “I managed well enough without you.”
“You did,” Rafael agreed, struggling to keep the emotion from overclouding his tone. “But I lost six years of my daughter’s life. I didn’t get to hold her as a baby, watch her learn to walk, or figure out how to talk. If you had told me—”
“I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of your father.”
Rafael’s shoulders slumped. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t have let his father do anything, but the truth of the matter was that he hadn’t even protected himself from his father, not until he left the island. He’d been ground beneath his father’s authority to the point where defying him felt like an impossible choice. Could he really blame Gwen for feeling the same way?
“For what it’s worth…” Gwen toyed with the sleeve of her shirt. “I wish things were different.”
Rafael nodded, his heart heavy. “So do I.”
***
They spent the day out on the island, visiting all of Rafael’s favorite haunts. He amused himself with the thought that soon, Lianne would be running off into the woods to build forts or make up her own legends about the rocks and caves that she would find. She loved the forest, inspecting every leaf and twig with care. When she accidentally knocked over an old, rotten tree, she burst into tears and raced back to Gwen.
“We’ve been out too long. We need to get back to town and get some lunch,” Gwen said, picking up Lianne.
“I can carry her,” Rafael offered.
Gwen shied back as though she expected him to grab her daughter and take off. He didn’t offer again. After lunch, they drove back to the house. Lianne fell asleep in the back seat. This time, Rafael didn’t offer. Instead, he lifted her out of the car. Lianne lay her head on his shoulder and put her arms around his neck, sighing lightly. She was sleeping again by the time he carried her to her room upstairs. Gwen joined him, carefully taking off Lianne’s shoes before they tucked her into bed together.
Rafael smiled at his sleeping daughter, his heart swelling with pride and love. He was glad that she had connected with him so quickly. He’d been worried that it would take longer to win her over. Worried that Gwen would be more obvious in her dislike toward him, and that would influence Lianne.
Speaking of Gwen… she tapped his wrist and jerked her chin toward the door. They crept back downstairs, where Gwen made a cup of coffee and collapsed into an armchair in the living room.
“Next time you want to show Lianne around the forest, I think I’ll have to stay home. I’m not used to the uneven trails anymore.” She frowned into her cup, her shoulders tense.
Rafael took a seat himself and studied her. She hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort in the forest. Was this actually her saying that she trusted him to be alone with Lianne? “It wasn’t just about showing her, though,” he said slowly. “I want to spend time with you, too. I know that the circumstances are less than ideal—”
Gwen snorted.
“Alright, that’s an understatement,” Rafael admitted, dragging his hand through his hair. “But I still hold to this being the best plan. I can’t protect Lianne from whatever danger is in your visions if she’s not here. And no matter what work I’ve done, the pack would not be kind to her if we weren’t married.”
He didn’t mention how the pack wouldn’t be kind to Gwen, either. She would only say she didn’t care what they thought about her, and it would devolve into an argument again. Focusing on taking care of Lianne was the best approach.
“I didn’t intend to raise her with the pack. As soon as I knew I was pregnant, I decided I was never coming back. I wasn’t going to make her live through the same treatment I got,” Gwen answered, her voice hardly above a whisper. “I tried to convince Kira and Chelsey to leave, too. We stopped talking so much because I realized I couldn’t make that choice for them.”
Rafael let out a heavy breath. He gazed at the floor, tracing the geometric patterns on the rug with his eyes. “I know how you feel.”
Gwen snorted.
“I do. Our experiences were different when it comes to the pack, but I know what it’s like to watch someone in an abusive relationship refuse to leave.”
At that, Gwen grew silent. Rafael risked a look up at her face. Her eyebrows were pulled together, and she chewed on her lower lip. Her hands were wrapped around the mug of coffee so tightly that the tips of her fingers were white.
“My father,” he said slowly, fighting down the discomfort at such a sensitive topic. “He never raised a hand to us. But he was abusive. He treated his family like he treated the pack. My mother wouldn’t leave him, no matter how much I begged her to. I’m more like him than I care to admit sometimes. That night when he confronted me in front of the pack, I should have told him to go fuck himself.”
Gwen let out a shaky breath.
Rafael stopped, searching her face. Did she believe him? Did she think he was lying to make himself look better? He pressed on, hoping that she saw how genuine he was. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. I know that we were both in a different mental space back then, but I wish I hadn’t kept you hidden. I wish I stood by you.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.” Gwen broke eye contact and stared out the window.
