Page 91 of A Bluestocking for the Wicked Duke
“Let me start from this,” William said.
“I am terribly sorry. I am sorry I didn’t explain because I didn’t know how you react. I was enjoying the way things were, I didn’t want to rock the boat,” he said.
Joane laughed gently, taking care to temper her reaction down.
“Well the boat was not only rocked, it capsized,” Joane responded.
William smiled.
“Yes, it did. But I am trying to get us into another boat. This one is dry and sturdy. It promises truth and openness,” he said.
“Tell me what you did wrong Mr. William. My memory fails to provide lucid recollections,” she said.
Truth and openness, let’s see if you tell everything Esther told me.
“Emma was right about me and Miss Esther but not in the way you think,” William said.
She listened intently as he repeated everything Esther had told her and more. She watched as his mouth opened and closed, spewing out words, and tried not to get distracted. But it was difficult to keep a level head anytime she saw the pink of his tongue. All he had to do was lean in and he would claim her, he would ravage her with his tongue and lips and hold her tight with his strong hands. He would push his tongue deep into her mouth, taking her breath and push his hands under her gown and dip into her, taking her senses. Joane looked at the brown of his eyes and felt safe in them.
They had never lied to her. Those eyes had always told her William liked her just as much as she liked him, his eyes and his body.
“Are you still listening to me, Joane?” he said.
Joane heard him but the thoughts were too sweet to leave.
“Joane,” he repeated, placing his hand on her hand and shaking her.
“I’m listening, William. I’m sorry for not answering at first.”
He nodded and stopped shaking her but didn’t take his hand away. Instead he drew closer to her, bringing his scent within the range of her nose. Joane drew it in.
“That is why I didn’t take your virginity in the field that day. I thought about what you would think if you found out after. I don’t know if we would have been having this conversation if I had done that.”
Joane looked at her side as he said that.
I didn’t even see Lord James leave.
“Would you even be able to forgive me?” William asked.
Joane didn’t know. She didn’t know what she would have done if William had accepted what she offered only for her to find out minutes later that he was in another relationship.
“I’m not sure,” she replied.
William rubbed her hands with his.
“After Emma made those accusations against me at your gate, I couldn’t think clearly, Joane. I had to take the incredibly long way home to think. I needed James to clear my head because he knows about everything. Thank gosh, I met him at home,” William said.
“So he suggested bringing Esther to me.”
William nodded in affirmation. His fingers didn’t press into her skin, they caressed as they held. He didn’t know but he was taking her attention away, losing her in the sweet rub of his fingers.
“When he told me I immediately knew it was the right thing to do. I am sorry, Joane. I am sorry that I wasn’t straight forward from the beginning. I am sorry I allowed you get into the mess my relationships are,” William said.
Joane nodded her head.
“I was so bitter and so angry at you. Why would you do that? That was the question I continually asked myself. So many people had warned me about my relationship with you, my father inclusive. I thought you had proved him right, that I was just a pawn to get your vengeance,” Joane said.
He blinked as she said that. And when he opened his eyes, his gaze didn’t meet hers. The fear returned but this time she spoke out.
