Page 46 of A Scandalous Love for the Enticing Duke
“You may. I was just thinking of it, myself. Some fresh air would be nice too.”
She sounded weak, still, but her affirmation gladdened Eleanor so. A smile crept upon her face as she raised the curtains and opened the windows. It had the desired effect on the room, as it was immediately covered in brightness, causing it to look better than it had when she had come in. When she turned around, she easily sighted her sister, seated on her bed, her head tilted upwards, breathing in the fresh air that had swept into the chamber as the windows came open. Eleanor paused, watching her sister, and mixed emotions tugged at her heart. Love, guilt, remorse. How could she have thought to betray her sister so? She was only glad that she had ended that foolishness. Though, her heart was taking a while to catch up with her mind, but that was okay; in time, the world would right on its axis. Agnes finally dropped her head and opened her eyes. As she did, she turned to catch Eleanor watching her, and she smiled.
“I smell fresh air, but I also smell cookies. We have made those together, so many times that I know what kind of cookies they are, and who made them. Come here, little sister.”
Giggling because she could not help herself, Eleanor broke into a run and had to take great care not to jump into her sister’s open arms. She slowed down as she reached the four poster bed and sat before going into her sister’s warm embrace. The hug lasted for what seemed like an eternity, and it made Eleanor feel all warm inside. She was aware that something beyond this illness troubled her sister, and she had feared her sister knew of her and Nicholas, but now, she was rest assured that she knew nothing. What then, was the matter?
The question stayed in her mind until they broke apart and she took the time to appraise her sister.
“Well, you have certainly had better days,” she teased, causing Agnes to chuckle.
“That, little sister, I cannot dispute. I have also felt better and looked better, but I believe I will be as good as new, in no time. Looks like you finally succeeded in passing that flu to me.”
“Well, I did insist that you stayed away, but you kept coming, every day. Thankfully, everyone was sensible enough to listen this time around. I reckon no one wants to be confined to their chamber for at least three days.”
Agnes chuckled again, a smile remaining on her face as it ended. “Yes. I agree. It did feel so awful; I thought the days would never end. Mother sent soup up to me every day. I suppose that helped along with the medicine, to quicken my recovery.”
Eleanor nodded. Martha’s soup had magical powers to heal; no one would ever convince her otherwise. “How do you fare now?”
“Much better, I must confess. Although, I still experience a wave of vertigo when I try to rise, but that too shall pass, as the fever and the sore throat did.”
“Yes. It will. I am glad to hear that you feel better, and I am also elated that I am finally allowed to see you. I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been for you.”
“Well, I had the books you sent for company. I enjoyed reading them when I was not too tired to keep my eyes open. It was being isolated as though I were a plague that tampered with my sanity.”
Her eyes twinkled, indicating that she only jested, and so they had a good laugh over that. After, Eleanor presented the good tidings she had brought along with her, and it was received with as much glee as she had anticipated. Silence reigned as Agnes munched on the chocolate cookies, accompanied by her tea. Eleanor’s heart filled to the brim as she watched her sister eat to her stomach’s content, with so much gusto. As she finished, Eleanor took the tray away from her thighs and set it aside. She rung the bell and leaned back. In no time, one of the maids came and took the tray along with her. As soon as she left, Eleanor approached the subject that had brought her here.
“Remember when we were on the ride to the McCaulays’ ball and you were concerned about my well-being, so you asked if all was well?”
Agnes took no time to think; her response was swift. “Of course, I was worried that you had not been yourself lately. I wanted to know what ailed my pumpkin.”
A smile flickered across Eleanor’s face at that. “You know only Father is allowed to call me pumpkin, Agnes.”
“And so we keep going round and round in unending circles. I shall call you what I wish to, little pumpkin, and I know that you secretly adore it.”
There was no point denying this; Eleanor knew this so she simply stuck her tongue out at her and continued with the discussion.“Well, that was simply by the way. I am worried about you, Agnes. You have not quite been yourself, of late, and I do not speak only of this illness. It is only to be expected that I would care. Is all well? If anything, I know that you have not shown the least bit enthusiasm for a Lady who is to be married in no time. The dress fittings, all of it, you smile, but it is not one that reaches your eyes. Is all amiss? I may be younger, but you must know that you can confide in me.”
Agnes smiled at this, but it wasn’t like the ones she had been giving since Eleanor stepped in. This was smaller, sad, and it did not reach her beautiful brown eyes. “Did Father put you up to this?”
What did their father have to do with this? “Father? No. Why?”
“Nothing. Just that he was here this morning and had expressed the same concern. I told him he was wrong, and all was well. Nothing but cold feet.”
“Is it really?”
She said nothing for a long while, and Eleanor waited patiently, willing the trepidation in her heart to fade away. Then with an anguished cry, she poured out her heart’s content.
“Oh, Eleanor! What ears would hear this? I do not want to marry Nicholas. Since I was only a girl of fifteen summers, my heart has belonged to none other than Alan Sheldon. When I was twenty, I finally garnered the courage to tell him, and he confessed that he felt the same. That was the beginning of our love affair. I had hoped that someday we would be free to marry for love, but that never happened. Especially after learning of the fraud he has been in all this. You can imagine how devastated I was to learn that he never truly loved me. Now, here I am, still hopelessly in love with him, while I am to be married to a good man, but a stranger nonetheless, in no time. My heart aches, Eleanor. I know that you can never hope to understand, but I feel like I have been stomped on by horses, a thousand times. It hurts so much, so much.”
Agnes broke apart then, and Eleanor’s arms were wide open for her to fall into as she lunged herself. Her arms quickly went around her sister and held her tightly as she cried. She too was in shock for never in her wildest imagination had she thought that a thing like this would happen. Agnes, in love with the merchant? The same one whom she had grown up to know as a part of their family but who had recently lost his place in their lives? Agnes was in love with someone else?
At first, relief washed over her as the implications of her sister’s words dawned. If her sister cared nothing for Nicholas, and in fact, had no desire to get married to him, then maybe she could finally be ridded of the guilt that ate at her daily. Of course, that was in no way a justification for her deeds, but at least, she did not have to feel so bad, as her sister was not innocent, either. However, this was not about her. This was about Agnes who was strongly hurting. Eleanor knew this because she understood, had gone through the same pain. She felt it as the sobs racked through Agnes, causing her to tremble with her pain. It caused her a pain of her own, seeing her sister so crushed, so distraught. If love was meant to be beautiful, then why did it hurt so much? While she could not believe that Alan did what he had been accused of, the die had been cast, and they had to move on.
She did not know when she started rocking and whispering sweet nothings in Agnes’s ears and she stroked her hair in comfort. They remained like that, and soon, Agnes’s tears ceased, and she calmed, visibly.
“I had no idea,” she said as Agnes broke away and sat upright. She began to search for something, and Eleanor provided her kerchief. It was accepted graciously, and she paused for Agnes to wipe her face and blow her nose.
“I am so sorry. You should not be doing this to yourself. You are recovering yet.”
