Page 45 of Unmasked By a Captivating Lady
“I am sorry,” cried Ara, furiously blinking back the tears. “Truly sorry, for all that I have done. I am sorry, for causing this…”
Her mother glanced at her sharply. “Are you, Arabella? It seems to me that you have worked consistently to undermine this season since day one. You have never been shy about declaring how much you despise London, and my attempts to find you a husband here.” Her nostrils flared dramatically. “I think that the scene at the Duke’s ball last night was just another stunt to get your own way.”
Ara kept blinking back the tears. She shouldn’t be surprised that her mother thought that the scene last night had been deliberately engineered, but it hurt her, nonetheless. Her mother knew how devastated she had been when she had discovered the false duke’s treachery. Her mother must even suspect that she had sincere and genuine feelings for the man. How could she not understand, even a little bit, that she had been merely reacting, and had never meant for it to happen?
Ara kept staring at her mother’s angry face, with the closed eyes, and pinched lips. Her mother was hurt, too. She felt that all her efforts were not appreciated, and in fact were being thrown back in her face. Ara understood it, but it did not make it any easier to deal with.
“Regardless of motive,” continued Mr. Nott, “the fact remains that we simply cannot stay here after what has happened.” He paused. “We will leave for Dorset and Rudwick House first thing tomorrow morning, Arabella.”
She nodded miserably. “Of course, Papa. I shall be ready for the trip.”
His face softened a little, as he gazed at her. “It is not the end of the world, Arabella. Scandals come and go, in London. This will blow over, eventually. In a few weeks there will probably be another to take its place.”
She nodded again. She knew that if she stayed a moment longer, she would surely burst into tears. “Once more, I am truly sorry, for all that has happened,” she said quietly. “I never intended any of it, and I deeply regret that I have caused you both such anguish.” She took a deep breath. “May I be excused? I should probably start packing…”
Mr. Nott nodded slowly. “Yes, that would be for the best, Arabella.”
Her mother glanced at her sharply. “You arenotto leave the house, under any circumstances, do you understand? I do not want to go to your room and find that you are not there. I do not want to hear about how you justhadto go out for a walk or a ride. Are we clear?”
Ara nodded, standing up. “Yes, I understand perfectly, Mama. I promise that I shall not leave the house under any circumstances.”
“Good,” said her mother, frowning deeply. “I am deeply disappointed in you, Arabella. Finally, perhaps, you will realise how your behaviour effects everyone…”
Ara’s bottom lip started to tremble. The tears that she had been trying so hard to keep at bay suddenly spilled over, streaming down her face. She sobbed, clutching her hand to her mouth.
She couldn’t look at their disapproving faces a second longer. She rushed out of the room, blinded by her tears, so that everything looked strange and blurred.
She had been so foolish she could scarcely believe herself, anymore. A public humiliation, following straight after an act of passion with the man, in an exposed place. She trembled, her face burning with shame.Anyonecould have discovered them there, and then the scandal would have been even worse. Much, much worse.
She had opened herself up at a man, and he had brutally let her down. She felt grazed, and bruised, as if she fallen onto sharp rocks.
She would never trust herself again. Never.
***
Her eyes were so blinded with tears as she left the room, that she could barely see. Suddenly, she cried out, as she ran into someone just outside the door.
She stepped back, furiously wiping away the tears. Ruth was standing there, her face pale, her blue eyes as round as saucers.
Ara smiled tentatively at her cousin, but Ruth didn’t smile back. Her face looked pinched, and she was frowning, now.
“So, we are to leave London,” she whispered. “The season is over before it has even barely begun…”
Ara sighed heavily. Ruth looked so disappointed that it was heartbreaking. Guilt swept through her again. Her actions had caused this. It wasn’t just her parents who she had affected by her behaviour.
“I am sorry, Ruth,” she whispered fervently. “You simply have no idea, how sorry I am…”
“Are you?” said her cousin sharply. “It seems to me, Ara, that youalwayssay sorry, but it never stops you doing what you do. The only person that you ever think about is yourself…”
Ara reeled back at the venom in Ruth’s voice. Docile, sweet Ruth, who always carefully controlled her emotions, and who almost never showed anger, or frustration, at anything. To see her like this, so obviously hurt and angry that she didn’t care anymore, was confronting to say the least.
“This wasmychance, as well as yours,” continued Ruth, her voice shaking with emotion. “I have been looking forward to the season here all year. It was my chance, to maybe find a husband.” She bit her lip. “And last night, therewasa chance, which you ruined, as well…”
Ara stared at her. “A chance? What do you mean?”
But Ruth shook her head angrily. “I will not talk about it with you. You do not care what happens in my life, Ara, or indeed what happens to me. You indulge yourself in your tantrums, to get whatyouwant, knowing that your position is secure.” She swallowed painfully. “But the same cannot be said for me, cousin. I must try as hard as I can to marry well. Do you know how difficult it is, being a dependent at the mercy of others, with no security?”
Ara blinked back tears again. “I know that it is harder for you, Ruth, but you do not need to feel that way. My parents love you as if you are their own daughter, and always have. They will never let you want for anything…”
