Page 18 of The Burning Passion of a Fiery Lady
“Are you still in love with him?” Jasper’s voice reached her as if from far away.
She lifted her face from her hands, gazing at him steadily. “No. I have not been in love with him for a very long time.” She hesitated. “I know that I made vows to love and honour him forever, but it just became so hard, so very hard …”
She had not admitted that to anyone before, even Amy. The confession felt freeing, too. Cleansing, as if she were wiping the slate clean, at long last.
“Are you still in love with your ex-fiancée?” she whispered.
He shook his head slowly. “No. It all happened long ago, now. I have moved on. I never thought that I would, but I have found that timedoesheal, as they say.” He paused. “I probably would have been miserable with her, anyway. A woman who can do that to a man on the eve of their wedding is not a woman of character. I found out before it was too late. Really, I thank her, in my heart …”
Susannah nodded. “I wish that I had found out what Gilbert was like before I married him. But I was so young, barely seventeen, and he charmed me. I did not have the maturity to know that all that glitters is not gold.”
“It is hard to trust again,” he said slowly, gazing at her. “When your heart has been broken. I thought that I never could.” He paused. “But now, I am no longer sure.”
Susannah’s heart started to beat faster. Was he saying what she thought he was?
***
Jasper stared down at the beautiful, distressed woman. She looked so lovely, in the thin beam of moonlight that shone through the stable window. He could see the hem of her white nightgown beneath the long black cloak she wore. Her brownish red hair was hanging in waves down her back, and her grey eyes were huge in her pale face.
It was as he had suspected. Her husband had mistreated her, but being the loyal woman that she was, she still felt guilty about it. She felt that she had not done enough, that she had not been good enough, and that it somehow had been her fault. She had not realised that there are just bad people in the world, and that there is nothing anyone can do to change them, if they do not want to change themselves.
For a moment, anger assailed him. How dare the man treat her the way that he had? No woman deserved such cruelty, but especially not such a fine, brave woman as Susannah Drake.
He was so close to her, now. So close, that he could reach out and touch her. A shiver of desire shuddered through him. Would she welcome such an advance?
Suddenly, he heard whistling, just beyond the stables. It was David; he would recognise the young man’s whistle anywhere. What on earth was he doing?
Impulsively, he pulled her closer, towards the stable wall, so that they were in shadow. Even if David glanced through the stable window, he would not be able to see them here.
“It would not do,” he whispered, staring down at her, “for my apprentice to see us together, in the middle of the night, like this …”
She nodded. He felt her trembling in his arms, and her heartbeat, hammering in her chest. Slowly, he pulled her closer, so that her head was resting on his chest. He buried his head in her hair, breathing deeply. She smelt like roses.
She pulled away, just a little, gazing up at him. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. And then, his lips found hers.
He pulled her closer still, as he explored her mouth. Her lips were just as sweet as he had dreamed. Her hands snaked into his hair, pulling him even closer if that were possible. They were drowning in each other’s lips, kissing so passionately that the heat was almost steaming from their bodies.
She wants me, he thought, in a daze.She wants me as much as I want her.
He gripped her waist tightly, feeling the thin cloth of her nightgown, the only thing separating her skin from his. He pushed her back against the wall, deepening the kiss. He wanted to feel her skin so urgently that it was like a fever consuming him. Another stab of intense desire shot through him. He was already so hard, pressing himself against her urgently.
But suddenly, she pulled away, panting deeply.
“You are right,” she whispered, her eyes aflame with desire. “We cannot be caught here, doing this. I must return to my bed …”
Before he could even react, she was gone, fleeing through the stable door.
Slowly, his breathing started to regulate again. He couldn’t believe what had just happened between them. He couldn’t believe the desire that he had felt for her, and that she had responded with a passion just as intense as his own.
He didn’t feel bereft that she had run away. Rather, he felt buoyed with hope. She hadn’t said that she regretted it, or that she didn’t want him, only that they must not be caught.
His heart surged. He felt that he would simply die if he did not touch her again.
The black horse was staring at him. He took a deep breath, approaching it.
“I promise I will help you,” he whispered.
The horse seemed to nod. Jasper grinned, and then opened the stable door. He should return to bed and try to sleep, too. But he knew that it was probably impossible, now. He would spend the entire night, dreaming of her, wishing that she was in his arms.
