Page 38 of The Marquis' Game of Seduction
“A fool you are!” Allan cried. “And a fool you’ll always be. Isn’t that the point of old friends? That they know just how foolish you are and like you anyway? Come along, Colin. Please. Don’t make me press you for even more information. I already know that you’ve developed these feelings—and, what’s more, I know that you regret these feelings. Rather than press them down and regret not saying them aloud, why not speak with me? It is as though I am your inner conscience. I shan’t judge you for your own inner truth.”
Colin scoffed. “What kind of new age rubbish are you spouting, my dear Allan? Has that woman of yours corrupted your mind and made you… even more empathetic than ever before?”
Allan chuckled. “Please. Just tell me. Or I’ll force it out of you.”
Colin bowed his head. “She’s remarkable, Allan. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way before. Although, even as I say that, I’m incredibly conscious that I’ve said those words before. I know that this is a rather terrifying path. No good thing comes from this.”
“Or… every good thing comes from this,” Allan returned. “Like marriage. Children. Happiness…”
“No,” Colin insisted. “It’s simply a tumor in this house, one that I need to cut out. I nearly—hmm. I nearly kissed her a few weeks ago. We were out on the moor, and I couldn’t help myself. I reached up and I touched her and… and the energy between us was absolutely monumental. It was air I could hardly breathe, and yet it was completely intoxicating. Beyond that, I would never wish to force her into anything. I don’t know at all what her feelings are about the situation. Nor do I know what she sees when she sees me. Surely, she sees a monstrous brute, a man who can hardly carry on a conversation.”
“She has you,” Allan said. He arched his brow ominously. “I can see it. I’ve never seen it so frankly upon your face. But it’s obvious that there’s no escaping how you feel for her. It’s wrapped itself around your neck and it won’t let go. Not for all the money in the world.”
“Ah, but Allan—I do have all the money in the world. And I don’t know what good that does for anything. I know only that I have this painful weight in my chest. And I wish to be with her and know her and take her as my own.”
“Talk with her,” Allan insisted.
“You make it sound so easy,” Colin returned.
“Perhaps it’s easier than trapping yourself in your study at night and driving yourself wild with apprehension. I’m not sure,” Allan said. Perhaps sensing he’d gone too far, he added, “But beyond that, I would truly love to meet this creature. The woman who stole my best friend’s heart.”
Colin rolled his eyes. “What? Would you like me to yank you through the hallways, hunting for her? Calling out her name? I dare say that will do a great service to me. I’m sure she won’t think I’m absolutely mental.”
“No, Colin,” Allan said. He matched Colin’s eye roll. “I think you should have a party.”
Colin had expected to refute any idea that Allan tossed at him. But the concept of a party—something that hadn’t graced the halls of the Kensington Estate in quite some time—didn’t entirely disgust him. He rose and stepped back toward the little cabinet to pour himself another glass of Scotch.
“I can see it on your face. You think it’s a remarkable idea,” Allan said.
“Come now. Don’t compliment yourself. It’s unbecoming,” Colin said.
“Admit it. You like the idea. You wish to dance with your love all night…” Allan continued.
Colin cut around and gave Allan an ominous look. Truthfully, of course, his heart beat wildly with the idea of splaying his hand at the base of Rose’s back, at feeling her breasts surge against his chest, at listening to her light laughter as they whirled across the ballroom floor…
“Perhaps. Perhaps it isn’t your most wretched idea,” Colin said. He poured a bit of Scotch over his tongue and pooled it about before swallowing.
Just then, there was a rap at the door. Allan’s enormous eyes turned toward it.
“It must be Judith, announcing lunch,” Colin said. He swept toward the door and cracked it open. To his immense surprise, Rose appeared there before him: her cheeks aglow, her hair curled about her ears. She beamed at him, and he found himself being back: stunned, idiotic, without the ability to utter anything except, “Oh. Rose. Hello.”
Allan coughed. Colin recognised that he was being cold and strange and he pressed his shoulders back and forced himself to say, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Now, he felt he was just being pompous. He wanted to smash his head against the wall with panic. But before he could, he stretched his arm to the side to gesture to Allan, who popped up from his seat and bowed low.
“This is my dear friend, Sir Allan Hornsmith. We’ve been friends since we were just boys. Allan, this is Duncan’s governess, the lovely Rose Hollingsworth.”
“Wonderful to meet a teacher, Lady Hollingsworth. I believe it to be one of the most honorable professions,” Allan said. He took Rose’s hand and drew it toward his lips—almost pressing them against her porcelain skin.
Colin thought his head might explode.
“Charmed, I’m sure,” Rose said. She giggled a bit, as though she really didn’t know what to make of Allan, then dropped her hand and continued. “I wanted only to inform you, my lord, that I may need to miss dinner this evening. Anna requires any extra lesson in reading and writing. Well, she doesn’t require it, really, but she asked for it and I’m not of the mind to refuse a woman who wants to learn so desperately. Do you mind?”
Colin’s heart felt squeezed. On the one hand, he wanted nothing more than to have Rose there with him and Duncan at dinner (not least of his worries included the fact that he truly didn’t know what to say to Duncan when the two of them were alone). But on the other hand, it truly pleased him to know such a miraculous creature, one so giving of her time.
“Of course,” he said finally, conscious of the strange silence he’d allowed. “Of course. That really isn’t a problem, Rose.” He cleared his throat, hating that Allan was there watching him as he staggered through this conversation. Rose’s eyes remained enormous, like she could peer directly through him.
“Say. Allan and I just decided upon something,” he continued.
