Page 15 of The Marquis' Game of Seduction
“Very well, sir,” Judith said. After a pause, she said, “Be careful with her.”
Then, she darted back into the hall and closed the door behind her. Colin stared dumbly at his bread and jam and steaming tea. He felt suddenly as though he’d never be hungry again in his life.
The new governess appeared in his study only ten minutes later. She apologised and smeared her hands over the new wrinkles in her dress, saying, “I’m terribly sorry. Duncan and I were playing hide and go seek in the library. I should have changed before coming to see you, but Judith mentioned that you were quite busy this afternoon and that it was best that I come right away…”
Colin hated the word that sprung to his mind first, when he heard this—that it was charming. He opened his lips, perhaps even to say this. But Rose continued on.
“Thank you again for taking this meeting with me,” she said. She dipped into the chair on the other side of the desk and crossed her hands over her knees. “You see, I’ve thought long and hard about the events last evening, and I want nothing more than to apologise. It was terribly reckless of me to fight with you in the middle of the night. And I want you to know that you won’t see that sort of behavior from me again.”
Colin felt the hard walls he’d built around his heart toward the new governess begin to soften, if only slightly. He swallowed. The silence stretched out between them, and Rose’s eyes flickered down. It was up to him to speak.
“It’s quite all right, Rose,” he finally said. He was surprised at how docile and soft his voice could be, if he allowed it. “Perhaps you know that your previous employer is a good friend of my mother’s? And my mother is quite a stickler on manners. There’s no way that Jennifer would ever recommend a woman incapable of executing proper manners, especially when it came to educating my nephew.”
Rose’s lips formed a round O. Colin cursed himself quietly for perhaps saying too much.
“Your mother? My goodness.” Rose shook her head slowly, and her green eyes glowed with wonder. “I’m terribly sorry, my Lord, but I assumed your mother was no longer with us. My employer, she never mentioned… It’s a strange thing that I never met her, either, given my time with Jennifer was quite extensive…”
Colin let out a heavy sigh. He sensed he’d backed himself into a corner. Finally, he blurted, “No, no. She’s just terribly ill. She’s not the sort to like to be seen when she’s not herself.”
Rose stitched her eyebrows together and nodded. “I see. That’s horrible. I don’t suppose you wish to elaborate…”
But Colin lurched up from his study seat and paced near the window. He held his hands at the base of his back, and his feet created a little track beneath him. “But it’s quite good that we’ve come to this understanding, Miss Hollingsworth. I can’t imagine that we can continue on without your comprehension of the rules of this house. Of course, I would love to hear a bit more regarding your education plans for Duncan. I imagine it can’t be hours of hide and seek in the library, can it?”
Rose’s face broke into a light smile. Colin stopped his pacing just long enough to really peer at it, at the splendid way her cheeks arched and her lips curved and her green eyes took on this alternate personality. It was like her entire face was up to something, without letting her in on it.
“No. The hide and seek has been merged with something a bit more educational, if you can believe it,” she said. “Every time I find him, I insist that he take a book from the shelf he’s hidden behind and read a fact and then write down that fact. The book must be a different discipline every time. Geography. History. The sciences. And together, we’ll study up the new facts and recite them back to you. I’m sure you’ll be quite pleased.”
Colin arched his brow. “It’s certainly… inspired,” he said.
“It’s a terrific time,” she affirmed. “He actually wants to be found, so that he can learn the next thing. The boy has a fascinating mind. I wish we all could feel such passion for new things all the time. Don’t you?”
“I hadn’t thought about it much,” Colin said. “But I suppose so.”
Again, silence stunted them. Rose swept a strand of hair behind her ear, seeming to search through the air for something to say. Finally, she uttered, “Do let me know if you need anything, anything at all, with regards to your mother. I expect she must be a dear thing, if she’s friends with Jennifer. I do miss her so…”
Colin clipped the conversation short. “Absolutely. I will,” he said, before whipping around and staring out the window. His heart fluttered. “Now, if that is all you wished to see me about, Miss Hollingsworth, then I hope you won’t find it rude of me to dismiss you. It’s high time that I returned to my duties for the day. And you to yours.”
“Very well, my lord,” she said, her voice hesitant. “I bid you adieu.”
Colin listened to her soft footfalls as she crept back into the hallway and drew the door closed. Colin felt his heart drop with sudden anguish, a feeling he hadn’t felt in ages. He hardly recognised it.
Immediately, he knew precisely the reason for it.
He’d been far too sharp with the new governess.
She’d inquired after his mother, had learned of her hardship and ached for more information, for some sort of way to help. Yet he’d spurned her, shoved her away. Why on earth was this his first reaction, when a perfectly reasonable, good-hearted soul attempted to help him? Why did he close the literal and metaphorical door on everyone in his life?
The reason for this sprung to the forefront of his mind.
Perhaps—and this was a very unlikely thing—he was actively trying to repel the new governess due to his sudden fondness toward her.
Was this possible?
Colin hadn’t had a general fondness for anyone in years. He wasn’t sure he would recognise it within himself if he developed it. How wretched it was that one could never really know one’s self, he thought then. He wondered if this was a casual thought that many men had, regardless of their status. For surely, since Colin himself was the Marquees, many men probably perceived him as being “in the know” about himself. This was such a contrast to his internal mind.
For a moment, Colin allowed himself to skate down an avenue of his mind in which he really knew the governess—in which they stretched a blanket out across the grass on the moor and leaned forward and stared into one another’s eyes and really marveled at what it meant to know another person. This was certainly what it meant to court someone, an idea that Colin had abandoned long, long ago.
What would they say to one another, if there weren’t any barriers between them? Would Colin find it easy to tell her all the chaos of his inner mind? Would she accept what he had to say, think about it—even give necessary advice?
