Page 16 of A Lady's Passion Knows No Distance
“I am fine, thank you,” Caroline said, tilting her head up just a bit as she folded her hands. She wanted to appear stronger than she felt in that moment. She should be asleep in bed, not trying to solve mysteries.
“Very well, Miss,” he replied, handing her the reins before bowing and gesturing to the other stable hands to give her some space. Feeling a bit more relaxed, Caroline led the mare over to the lead ropes so she could secure the horse while she took off the saddle and padding. It was there, at the horn of the saddle, folded just underneath the lip and the padding, that she felt a piece of paper. Quickly, she removed the paper and stuck it into her robe pocket before removing the saddle and setting it aside.
Caroline took her time with the mare, preparing her for her stall and brushing her down. The horse deserved the best after being out all night, and after she had finished her work, she asked a stable boy to see to it that the mare was fed well and given plenty of water. Only then did she leave the stables and make her way back inside.
As she stepped in through the back door that led to the gardens, she startled a few maids who had been walking by, carrying fresh linens. She smiled softly to them as they curtsied. Then, she made her way to her bedchamber once more. She passed a majority of the household as they all scurried to attend to the morning chores such as warming the house after a particular chilly night and having the rooms dusted for their daily use. She could already smell a sweet aroma coming from the kitchen, telling Caroline that Cook must have been hard at work preparing something special for the morning meal.
The only thing that concerned Caroline in that moment was the slip of paper in her pocket. And she only withdrew once she was finally safe behind her bedchamber door. With shaky hands, she removed the note and sat down at her writing desk, her heart pounding in her chest once more.
My dearest Caroline. I know you must be dreadfully confused at this moment. Trust that I never want to part with you. But I’ve made a deal for my father’s sake. And in return, I’m going to become a better man for you. If you receive this letter, I want you to understand my love for you. Time will pass, but my heart will never stop longing for you. One day, we will meet again.
Fresh tears came to Caroline’s eyes as she read the note over and over again. Her emotions seemed to return to her as her hand shook, making it difficult for her to fold the note and tuck it away safely in her writing desk where it couldn’t be easily discovered. Then, she pulled off her boots, set her house robe on the back of a chair, and finally crawled into bed.
All sorts of emotional pain washed from Caroline as she cried and sobbed, hugging her down-feather pillow to her chest. She felt angry at William for allowing her to go while still holding such love for him in her chest. She didn’t understand what kind of deal William had made, but she also knew that his father was gravely ill. It seemed to her that Lord Canton had really played at their struggles in life—her love for William, his need to save his father. She was certain in that moment that she’d never marry Lord Canton and would one day be reunited with William once more.
“Mama, this is starting to be a very sad story,” little Duncan said as he sat up in bed and looked at his mother.
“I know, my dear. But all great stories start with some sort of tragedy. Don’t worry—this story has a happy ending.”
“Lord Canton seems to be quite the villain,” Duncan commented, resting back against the plush pillows once more.
“Indeed, he is the villain of the story,” his mother confirmed as she tucked him back into bed.
“Will Caroline and William ever meet again?” he asked, causing his mother to smirk.
“You’ll just have to listen to the rest of my story. There is much to tell.”
Chapter 9
It was her nineteenth birthday, and Caroline sat in the drawing room with all her closest friends. She had given it another try, surprising her parents when she had requested a large birthday party. Together with her mother, she’d planned an extravagant ball with all the major families in the neighbourhood.
With the Season in London coming to an end, and Caroline once more failing to meet a suitable gentleman she would consider a good husband, they’d all returned to her father’s country estate to plan her birthday party. And though Caroline didn’t feel quite lively anymore, she thought that perhaps a large party in her honour would help brighten her spirits.
Caroline looked all around her at the happy faces. Her dear friend, Miss Gwendolen Murphy, also a daughter of an earl that she’d met this past Season, had come out to the country with her family simply to attend Caroline’s birthday celebration. And it was with this friend that she currently sat with, talking about all the others in attendance.
“For having such an unsuccessful Season, you surely have quite the turnout for your birthday,” Gwendolen said with a chuckle. “There are many suitors here tonight.”
“I suppose they are thinking that I will be livelier this evening since it is my birthday. I know most in attendance, since I planned my own guest list. My mother is proud that I am taking an interest in managing a household and planning events,” Caroline said, pushing back a strand of her hair as she peered around the room that was filled with busy chatter.
“Come, now. We’ve known each other these past few months, attending every social function together as though we were sisters. Tell me why you choose such an event,” Gwendolen pressed, leaning closer as if to hear Caroline whisper a secret to her. Caroline had never spoken about William after that dreadful night and wasn’t about to share her heart’s desire with anyone. Caroline couldn’t really trust anyone when she was still certain that Lord Canton often spied on her.
“Perhaps it is finally time that I honestly consider someone for a husband,” Caroline said, turning away from her. “There are plenty of suitable men, but I have yet to give any of them a chance at my heart.”
“Oh, Miss Caroline, you always make me laugh,” Gwendolen said with a giggle. “We both know that these men are not as suitable as they like others to think. It’s always the ones that are the most handsome that often lay with any young lady they can convince.” Caroline giggled behind her gloved hand, knowing how correct her friend was. After her first Season, Caroline was quick to learn how cunning men could be, and that most of the time the only thing they were after was her virginity and not her hand in marriage.
“Such dreadful beasts, men are,” Caroline said. “But I am now nineteen. I won’t have many chances to marry by this time next year. Perhaps next Season will prove to be more profitable.”
“You’ve been through three Seasons now, Miss Caroline. What do you expect to happen next year?”
Caroline stifled the urge to shrug, knowing that so many eyes were watching her. “I can only hope that things will get better,” she said eventually, looking at her friend. So dearly did she want to confess her every yearning to a woman like Gwendolen. But she feared speaking her true heart’s desire to anyone. Instead, she stood and helped Gwendolen to her feet. “Let us make merry and visit with all that have come tonight. You shall be my honoured guest so that we may dance with all the amiable men.”
“You mean you’d rather pick your dance partners than be stuck with a man with two left feet.”
“Precisely, my dear. It’s better to choose for one’s self instead of waiting for the fates to align.”
Caroline led her dear friend around the drawing room, introducing her to as many as she could and greeting everyone that had come to attend her ball. She had become better over the years at pretending and acting like someone she wasn’t. Though she often succumbed to the misery she kept inside, refusing to dance with anyone despite her parents’ wishes, tonight she forced herself to be more outgoing and sociable. The gentlemen present surely noticed her change in demeanour and even tried their luck at inviting her to dance with them. Caroline took pleasure in declining some and accepting others, making her feel like she had some sort of control over her life. Or perhaps it was the punch that she freely drank without restraint.
At one point in the evening, about the time she expected the dinner to be announced, she was making her way back through the throng to join her parents. But when a gentle hand settled on her elbow, she stopped and turned towards the person, thinking Gwendolen had finally caught up with her after parting in search of another cup of punch. Instead of her dearest friend, however, she looked up into the ice-blue eyes of Lord Canton and immediately felt like she had been dunked in a bath of cold water.
