Page 40 of A Lady's Passion Knows No Distance
“I’m sure this all seems so, Miss Caroline. I don’t blame you for how you are feeling, for you have the right to grieve. You should also be wearing the colour of grief, as well.”
Caroline looked down at her dark brown gown, it being the only thing she and Gwendolen could decide upon under such short notice. “Gwendolen has assured me that she will help me acquire some new gowns at the soonest convince,” Caroline said. “I don’t wish to financially burden you, though.”
“It is not a burden, Miss Caroline. Your parents were good people and it’s the least I could do for them. The funeral arrangements have been made for a week from today. It is the soonest that it could be done.”
“That all seems fine,” Caroline said. “I think that’s enough time for things to happen.”
“There is dowry money as well that has been detailed in your father’s will. You are to receive it immediately upon his death. If you like, I shall arrange for your father’s solicitor to retain the money until you are in need of it.”
“Thank you. I would appreciate that very much. I suppose I should take time to meet with the man myself.”
“In time, yes. But it is not vital you do so anytime soon. After the funeral, once you’ve had time to heal, it would be an appropriate time to speak to the solicitor with a clear mind.”
“That sounds reasonable enough. I am simply pleased that nothing more may be required of me this day.”
“My parents both died shortly after I was married to Lady Murphy. A terrible sickness took them both in their old age. Even now, I still miss them. There is nothing wrong with feeling sorrow or needing to take time to simply cry and be sad. I simply advise that you don’t bottle it all up inside.”
Caroline smirked as she nodded. “I appreciate your understanding, Lord Murphy. I am truly grateful that I was here in your household when it all happened. I can’t imagine a kinder guardian.”
“I shall continue to do my best, Miss Caroline. Therefore, there is something I want to ask you in an effort to protect your best interest.”
“Of course. What do you wish to know?”
Lord Murphy glanced away for a moment as he folded his hands in his lap. When he looked back at Caroline, he said, “I did not fail to notice the way you reacted to seeing Sir Robert. I was under the impression that the two of you had only just recently met.”
Caroline sighed as she looked down at her hands. She had assumed that this conversation might happen and thought quickly of a way to explain things to Lord Murphy.
“I knew Sir Roberts when I was younger, about sixteen years old. It was before he had made a name for himself or was considerably wealthy. We had fallen in love, and when I confessed my feelings for him to my father, he forbade us to see each other.
“After that night, I never heard or saw Sir Robert again. Not until at the masquerade ball. It seems he went off looking for fame and fortune to persuade my father to reconsider him.”
“Is he the type of man that a father would consider unsuitable due to character alone?” Lord Murphy asked.
“On character alone, no. Sir Roberts has always been the truest of gentlemen. He simply wasn’t a rank that my father would have considered appropriate for an Earl’s daughter. Regardless for our feelings, we were separated,” Caroline explained. Lord Murphy nodded as he raised his hand and began to rub his chin.
“And it seems like these feelings still exist,” he stated.
Caroline sighed deeply as she closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, she stated very clearly, “Yes, Lord Murphy. I do very much care for Sir Roberts. I had only accepted Lord Canton’s proposal because I saw no other option.”
“Now, do you hope that Sir Roberts will make you an offer of marriage? To break an engagement can have serious consequences when it comes to one’s reputation.”
“I do understand, Lord Murphy. I will not speculate on what Sir Roberts will do, but I do hope that I will receive his offer. I felt quite pressured into agreeing to marry Lord Canton that I would like to think that I could marry for love instead, regardless of how the Ton would gossip about me.”
“As your guardian, I will always be available to counsel with you, Miss Caroline. I wish to know more about the character of Lord Canton and Sir Roberts before I can give you the best advice about your future, and the future of your father’s title and estates. I simply ask that you don’t make any rash decisions. That perhaps you could consider me as someone to speak to before you make anything official.”
Caroline dipped her head, grateful for the Earl even more. “I will be sure to do so, Lord Murphy. I feel at the moment that everything in my future might be a speculation. I know my feelings and emotions, but I wish to understand everything perfectly.”
“Spoken like a wise woman. Now, I have taken plenty of your time this afternoon. I’m sure you’re longing for rest,” Lord Murphy said as he stood to his feet and helped Caroline do the same.
“Thank you again, Lord Murphy, for all that you’ve done. I couldn’t have done all of this without you.”
“I am bound by honour to always help those in need. After all, I have plenty and can offer much to others. I will see you again for dinner,” Lord Murphy said as he opened the study door and allowed her to depart. Caroline made haste in returning to her bedchamber, eager for some rest after being visited by so many. She felt utterly and totally exhausted, climbing into bed without bothering to take off her gown.
As Caroline laid there, she closed her eyes and thought of William. She’d confessed her feelings to Lord Murphy and felt a sense of relief that he hadn’t become angry with her like her father had.
Though she hadn’t told the Earl the whole truth, she hoped her feelings for William would eventually turn into something of a reality. For now, they were just feelings. She wasn’t sure if she should act on them, or if William would return the same feelings with the intent of marrying her. She would simply have to wait until that time came.
All Caroline knew for sure was that she couldn’t marry Lord Canton. Now that she had a dowry at her disposal, and her father’s title to consider, she knew she didn’t want a man like Lord Canton to lay claim to all her father had developed and built up.
