Page 59 of Tamed By a Passionate Lady
“There was a woman,” he continued slowly. “The woman, in the portrait that I showed you…”
Her heart clenched. “You know who she is?”
He nodded. “Reuben told me, last night, but I still did not remember her.” He took a deep breath. “Now, it has all come back…”
She nodded again. A part of her did not want to hear this. A part of her still wanted to run screaming from the room. But she had to face what he was going to say, sooner or later. His memory had returned, and it was too late now to change anything.
“Her name is Lydia,” he said, his breath catching, in his throat. “And she is the reason that I was never able to love you.” He took a deep, ragged breath. “I courted her, years ago. I believed that I loved her and wanted her to become my wife. I clung to the memory of her, like a drowning man…”
She looked away, blinking back tears. She should have suspected that it was something like this, but somehow, she never had.
A woman, from his past. A lost love, that he had never got over. It hurt. It hurt so much, that it was like a knife twisting in her stomach.
“I was a blind, stubborn fool,” he said, his voice shaking with emotion. “I was determined to wallow in my misery, determined to make my life a shrine to her. And the irony of it all is that I realise now that I never loved her. Not in the way that I love you.”
She gasped, turning back to him, still blinking back the tears. She felt like her voice had vanished entirely.
“I was infatuated,” he continued, shaking his head. “I was blind with a first passion. I had never experienced desire for a woman like that before. I confused it with love.” He took another deep breath. “But I realise now what true love is. You have shown me, my darling Adaline. You have always shown me. I think that deep down, I have always loved you, but I was fighting it…”
“Is it true?” she gasped, as the tears finally fell. “You still love me, even though your memory has returned?”
He nodded. “I promised you, did I not, that I would still love you, regardless?” He hesitated, taking her hand, turning it over in his own. “I am so very sorry for the way that I have treated you, my darling. If I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Oh, my love,” she gasped. “Of course I forgive you….”
He pulled her into his arms, caressing her, in a fever of emotion. Slowly, tenderly, he brought his lips to hers.
She felt it, immediately. The strength of his conviction, the realisation that hedidtruly love her. That nothing had changed between them. It reassured her in a way that words could not. Tenderly, they kissed until she was almost dizzy with love.
Eventually, she pulled back, gazing into his face.
“I imagined so many other things,” she said slowly, her voice breaking. “I thought that you did not find me attractive, at all. That I was an ugly woman, who could never inspire desire in her husband.” She sobbed. “I thought that perhaps you found something reprehensible, in my character. Something that you could not live with…”
He laughed softly, his green-blue eyes gleaming with love. “No, it was never any of those things,” he said slowly. “You are the most divine creature, a truly beautiful and desirable woman. I was always strongly attracted to you. And your character is beyond reproach. Truly, you put all other women in England to shame, my darling.”
She laughed, too, feeling a knot slowly unravelling within her. The last knot of doubt that she had been holding onto, even last night, when he had made love to her.
It had never been her. There wasn’t something intrinsically wrong with her. He had been nursing a broken heart, and he was deeply sorry for it. That was the reason he had always shied away from her. Why she had sometimes felt the ambivalence, deep within him, the desire to connect with her, even as he was pushing her away.
“You do believe me, do you not?” he whispered, his hand stroking her arm. “You believe, at long last, in my undying love for you?”
She nodded. She felt like she was finally seeing daylight again, after wallowing in a thick fog. Her whole life with him had been like that. But the fog had finally cleared, at long last, and the light was truly blinding now. It was so blinding that it was luminous.
Her deepest fear was that he would no longer love her if his memory returned. That it was all too good to be true, that she could never hope to hold onto his love. And now, he had blown all of her insecurities away in one fell swoop. She still could not believe that it was possible, but it seemed that it was.
His memory had come back, and he still loved her just like he had the night before.
It was amazing. She had hoped and prayed that he would one day love her, but she had never truly thought that it would happen. He had been so deeply resistant to her, and she had been at her wit’s end. The day of the accident she had been determined to move out of their marital chamber, and finally let go of the hopeless love that she had for him.
And now, everything had changed. Everything was different. Their life together had finally started, after all these years of living side by side as strangers.
He was still injured. He was still recovering from his terrible accident. There was no way that she would wish it on him again. But something wonderful had happened because of it. In one way, it had been a blessing. Without it, they would never have found each other. It was a miracle, indeed.
“I am so happy,” she whispered. “I cannot even express it…”
He smiled, joyously, leaning over to kiss her again. But when he pulled back, his face was strangely solemn again.
“There is something else,” he said. “Something else, that I have remembered.” He took a deep breath. “Adaline, could you please tell me, what has happened between you and Reuben Montgomery?”
