Page 43 of Tamed By a Passionate Lady
She was so shocked she simply let it happen, the sensations washing over her. He pulled her down so that she was lying on top of him. His hands seemed to be everywhere, caressing her through her nightdress, blindly trailing from her shoulders to her breasts, and then further down, until he was grabbing her buttocks, pushing her closer towards him.
She heard him moan, deep in his throat, as the kiss deepened. She was being swept away in the wild sensations that his lips and his hands were invoking within her. She knew that she was perilously close to giving into them.
No,she thought desperately. I cannot do it. It is a lie.
With an almighty effort, she pulled herself away from him, flinging herself to the opposite side of the bed. She was panting and flushed, her eyes fixed to the opposite wall, not daring to look at him.
There was silence, for a moment. She heard his laboured breathing, but he did not say a word.
Tears stung behind her eyes. She couldn’t look at him.
“Adaline,” he said, in a strangled voice. “Please. Will you look at me?”
Her heart wrenched, but she could not refuse his desperate plea. Slowly, she turned around so that she was facing him. Her eyes darted left and right, unable to look at him.
“Please,” he said, reaching out, and taking her hand. “Tell me what is wrong. I want to understand what troubles you.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Why is it wrong for a man and his wife to enjoy each other in such a way?”
Tears pricked behind her eyes again. She blinked them away, desperately. How could she even begin to explain the complex and troubled history between them? How could she find the words that would surely burst this beautiful bubble of illusion that they had created since his accident?
She didn’t speak, trying to calm her breath. Her eyes flickered towards his face. She saw confusion there. A deep confusion. He sincerely did not have any idea as to why she would be reluctant to do such things with him.
But his face began to change as he stared at her intently. A look of subdued concern was overtaking it.
“My love,” he said, hesitantly. “Why do we not have children?”
She gasped. He was beginning to grope towards the truth. He still didn’t know, didn’t remember, but he was questioning their relationship now. He was starting to realise that all was not as it seemed.
And still, she could not answer him. It was as if the truth was stuck behind her throat, refusing to dislodge.
He sat up straighter, wincing slightly in pain, gazing at her intently.
“Why are you so uncomfortable with me?” he asked, in a sorrowful voice. “It could not be…could it…that I wascruelto you, before the accident?”
She gasped again, her eyes wide. He looked so horrified as he uttered the words. He was so genuinely concerned that he had done something awful to her, or treated her abominably. She simply could not let him think such a thing.
“No, no,” she moaned, squeezing his hand. “You were never cruel to me, James. You have been nothing but a gentleman to me, for our entire marriage.” She took a deep, shuddering breath, not sure what to say. The truth was still a lump, stuck behind her throat, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not shift it.
He picked up her hand, pressing it to his lips. Then, he slowly lowered it, staring deep into her eyes.
“I may not remember our marriage,” he said, in a quiet voice. “But I know what I feel for you now, Adaline. I know that you are a talented artist, that you are a kind mistress to the staff. I know that you are a good friend to Isabel, and a gracious hostess to Reuben.” He took a deep breath. “I know how patient and encouraging you have been with me, during my recovery….”
He picked up her hand again, pressing it to his lips feverishly, moaning softly, before dropping it again.
“You are ravishingly beautiful,” he said, in a husky voice, his eyes burning. “And you are so warm-hearted. The truth is that I burn for you, night and day, my Adaline. I want nothing more than to take you in my arms and love you…”
She moaned, in an agony of pain and confusion. She so wanted to believe his words. He was so fervent as he gazed at her. She knew that he believed what he felt was true. If only it were truly possible. If only they could leave the past behind, once and for all.
She took a deep breath. “I fear it is all too good to be true,” she whispered, her eyes stinging with tears again.
He frowned slightly. “What do you mean? Why is it all too good to be true?”
She bit her lip, shaking her head. She couldn’t talk about it anymore. She felt drained, as if speaking aloud her fears would bring them home to roost. A superstitious feeling that she knew was madness, but she could not shake it.
“Please,” she said, in a quiet voice. “Can we leave it for this evening? I am so very tired.”
He gazed at her steadily, for a moment, before he nodded his head.
“Of course,” he said, a slight thread of disappointment in his voice. “You have been patient with me, my Adaline. I will be patient with you, as well.”
