Page 16 of Treating a Sinful Earl
Hmm. Felton did know him all too well. “How did you fare with Abigail this evening?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.
“I am unsure.” Felton turned downcast. “It is so hard to decipher the lady.”
“I would surmise that that is the point,” Jasper said with a laugh.
“But why must it be so difficult? Why can men not simply pick out the object of their affection and be done with it? This game between men and women is exhausting, and it seems to be continuous.”
Jasper could not help but feel bad for Felton. Yes, love could be a game if that was one’s intention. Also, it could be as simple as Felton described. For Jasper, all that he wanted was simplicity, as well. Nothing was worse than having to chase after someone in vain, and if his instincts spoke to him correctly, it could be simple with Catherine.
But what was the blasted point! His health was so ill that there was no sense in pursuing anyone. Yet again, that conviction arose in Jasper, and he reminded himself that it truly did matter. That it mattered whether he chose to embrace life or not. The moments that lay before him were far too precious to banish, and if he wished to spend the rest of those days with a lady, then so be it. Perhaps, love could even heal him….
“Catherine makes tinctures,” he abruptly said, reminding himself of her rare talent.
“Tinctures, you say?”
“Indeed. Healing concoctions.”
“Does she have a potion to heal your beating heart, for I am not under the impression that it beats wildly for her?”
Jasper rolled his eyes. He had just mentioned his fondness, and now Felton was speaking of love. What was love, anyhow? Jasper had never been in love before, and he was unsure what the sensation might be. But considering the rush of energy and enthusiasm that he felt each time he spoke of Catherine, Jasper was left to wonder if perhaps that was the very nature of love.
“This is nonsense,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “There is no sense in speaking of this any further. I shall arrange a dinner at my home for Catherine to attend. You can send an invitation to Abigail if you wish.”
“And what of Selina? I am sure that she will feel left out,” Felton offered.
Jasper had to consider this. It was strange the way in which Selina had ventured off and never returned. He assumed that it was to give he and Catherine privacy, which he was grateful for.
The carriage finally arrived at his estate, and Felton’s home was close by. The two friends parted, and Jasper alighted from the coach, looking up at his vast estate in admiration. He sincerely hoped that Catherine would be impressed by it, and that it would bring a smile to her lips, as the Duke of Brighton’s estate had done.
Upon entering the foyer, Jasper passed the parlour and discovered the Dowager Countess seated there, a cup of tea by her side. “You are home early, my son.”
Jasper stepped in, unfastening his coat, and removing his hat. “I did not feel well.”
She frowned and shook her head. “Jasper, perhaps you are pushing yourself too hard. I do not like to think that you are damaging your health in some way by going out into society so often. That was the second time in one week!”
“Mother, rest assured that the exertion is causing no harm. The harm is already done.” He seated himself and gazed into the fire, which the Dowager Countess always had lit because she often complained of being cold, even when the weather was favourable.
“We must see another doctor. Surely, there is some remedy that we have not yet tried.”
“It is no use. I am the way I am.”
“Stop saying such things!” she exclaimed. “It is not like you to give up on hope.”
“No, I still enjoy a good challenge.” He fiddled with his pocket watch as he spoke. “And this is certainly a challenge for the ages.”
His mother sighed and sipped her tea. After she put it back down, she said, “You overcome every challenge. I have seen it in the past. This situation is no different. There is a way to free yourself of this, but it seems as though at every turn you resign yourself to the malignancy.”
Jasper fell silent. Was it true that he was resigning himself to his illness? Certainly, he wished to be free of it, but countless doctors had informed him that there was nothing to be done. He was no medical expert and could not imagine carrying on seeing more doctors when so many opinions had corroborated the same diagnosis.
“Let us speak of other affairs,” Jasper went on. “I became faint at the ball, and there was a rather charming lady there to assist me.”
His mother seemed shocked by this, for her brows went up. “Is that so? How did she assist you?”
“She procured water and waited by my side until the fit had passed. She did not judge me in the least.”
“Oh, Jasper. Do you still believe that others will judge you for this? Headstrong boy.”
“Naturally, they will judge. It is not my desire to be considered the ‘sick earl’ wherever I go. I wish for my freedom, and to achieve that, I must rely on secrecy. It is the only way.”
