Page 42 of Treating a Sinful Earl
Catherine brought her hand over her mouth. “I hope that he does not self-destruct! At least, not for Abigail’s sake. Oh, I wish that she was kinder and more affable. Why is it that she carries on the way that she does? Sometimes I think that I should be the one instructing her and not she instructing me!”
This brought up an important question. “Speaking of which, has she compelled you to attend another ball any time soon?”
A wry smile came to her lips. “She wishes to go to a ball this Saturday. I told her that I was busy making tinctures.”
“But does this not violate your own desire to improve?” Jasper said this, knowing full well that he did not wish for her to attend the Saturday ball, nor did he wish for her to find a husband that was not himself.
“Part of me wishes to defy my father in this regard. I am having such a marvellous time focusing on my medicine and that alone. Perhaps, if I merely tell him that I refuse to marry and he can leave Bath without me if he chooses, then he shall do so!”
Jasper felt his heart sink. No, her father would never leave her alone in Bath. Nor would he leave her in Jasper’s company if he did not marry her. Oh, but what was he thinking! His ardency had grown to such an extent that now, all he could think of was marriage. Also, the way that Catherine’s hair glimmered in the sunlight and how her shocking green eyes seemed to puncture his soul at every turn.
“Catherine, I think that it is important to do what makes you happy, but also what is feasible. It would not make sense to set your hopes on something that cannot be accomplished.”
Her face fell and her eyelashes fluttered. Jasper felt bad for saying it but what else was he to do? He did not wish to see Catherine hurt.
“Is there a better chance of me becoming an apothecary in London? I know that they are much more forward in their ways there, so perhaps…if I found a husband that accepted what I wanted to do.”
“But alas, I wish that husband could be me.”
Silence overtook them and time stood still. The words had escaped Jasper’s lips before he had a chance to consider them, and now, he was left with anticipation in hearing what Catherine would reply to this.
“Did I hear you correctly?” Catherine asked.
Jasper nodded plainly. “Indeed, you have. Catherine, I must be honest with you. I have…strong affections for you. And although I would take you as a wife to help you escape from all of this, along with selfish reasons of my own, I fear that it is unfeasible.”
“Why is it unfeasible?” she asked, expectation in her eyes.
“I…do not know if I can say.”
Oh, Jasper’s head was spinning. It seemed like he had made some kind of mistake, for there was a mixture of sadness and hope in Catherine’s eyes. Then, she shook her head indignantly. “No, no. It matters not. Jasper, I am sure that you would make a fine husband, but for the time being, all that I can focus on is making you well. I admit that…I have affection for you as well, but that does not mean that we must act upon these impulses, for we must keep our heads straight!”
Although he hated the notion of not acting on impulses when it came to Catherine, she had a sound point. This brought a delighted smile to his lips. “Here again, something that I admire about you.”
“What is that?” she asked.
“You are an intelligent woman. Intelligent as you are beautiful. It is captivating and like nothing that I have ever witnessed before.”
Every impulse in his body wished to reach out to her, to take her into his arms, tell her the truth, and impart to her that everything was going to be alright. But to do so would be an impossible scandal, and what’s more, he did not know if that was the truth. What if he was not to make a full recovery and everything would transpire as the doctors suggested?
This was a thought too painful for words and Jasper banished it with a flick of his hand. “I am sorry. I do not know why I am speaking so plainly right now. Perhaps it is some effect of the medicine,” he said humorously.
“I hope that it is not,” she said softly, gazing into his eyes.
Their eyes held one another’s for some time, and from her expression, Jasper noted that it was time to be as bold as he had wanted to mere moments before. He leaned in perilously close, placing his finger below her chin. “I must warn you, I should like to kiss you Catherine, but I do not wish to do so if it will deplete your honour in some way.”
Her mouth dropped open, excitement in her eyes. “We mustn’t,” she protested.
“Very well,” Jasper said, leaning back and straightening himself. He would never do anything that Catherine was not comfortable with.
“Oh, but let us undertake it anyhow.” Now, she was the one to lean in quickly, pressing her lips against his and Jasper moaned in enjoyment. He placed a hand on the side of her face, willing her to move her entire self closer to him. But the kiss was sweet and light, and Jasper wished to keep it this way, knowing that if he truly unleashed himself, there was no telling what he might do.
He did not know how long it lasted, for he sensed himself in a dream and never wished to wake up. Finally, Catherine was the one to pull away, her eyes still closed from the kiss. Jasper was the first to speak. “Are you alright?”
“Need you ask such a question?” Catherine asked, bringing a hand up to her flushed cheek. “I have never kissed a man before.”
He said affably, “I hope that you enjoyed it.”
Her response was whispered. “Immeasurably.”
