Page 47 of Treating a Sinful Earl
He delighted in her wit. Yes, even if he did not ask, Jasper always knew where to find her. “Then it is settled. Tomorrow, we can share another picnic. This time, I would like to bring the repast.”
“If you insist. We can look for more herbs for you. I feel so encouraged by the positive results you are having, and that leads me to believe that we are close to healing you entirely.”
This was the moment when he could have shared the whole truth about his health. But for Jasper, it was still impossible.
Chapter 22
The following morning in the woods, Jasper felt as though he could finally breathe. It had been suffocating the night before, wishing to be alone with her, to touch her, to kiss her again. He did not anticipate that it would be so difficult, but it should come as no surprise, for his feelings for her felt bottomless.
As they strolled along, Catherine continued to speak of the various shrubs, and she remarked upon the beautiful morning. Although Jasper might be impatient with such pleasantries, wishing to talk of more weighty things, he found that when he was alone in her company, anything that she spoke of was poetry. Still, he was a man with a mission, and he would breach the subject lightly.
“Do you remember what I said the other day, about wishing to help you in some way?”
She turned to him. “You mean, stealing me away from my predicament. I do not know that it is possible.”
“But it is very possible. I wish that you would see that.”
“See that you can make my reality disappear? No, no. Let us not talk of it, for it makes me anxious each time.”
Jasper was off to a bad start. If he could just bloody say what he meant, then perhaps this would be a lot easier. “Catherine, my feelings for you are of the utmost strength. I do not wish to see you suffer, and I want to be the man that saves you.”
He instantly felt that this was the wrong thing to say. From the look of indignation on her face, he knew this to be true. “To save me? Jasper, I am having a hard time understanding your meaning. I do not need to be saved.”
He closed his eyes in discontent. “Allow me to explain. Catherine, I love you, and I do not wish to see you marry another.”
Finally, his true meaning must have sunk in, for Catherine softened and continued their walk. “You know that my feelings are the same.”
“Then let us consummate those feelings.”
She paused once again. Her voice was shaky as she spoke. “Oh, I fear that this is all because you know of my predicament, and I have helped you in some way. Please understand, I do not want for any of these factors to contribute to such a grand decision.”
Jasper sighed. Yes, none of this was going to plan. Did she not trust him? Because she was healing him, did she really believe that he wished to marry her for this simple fact? It became all too clear that he needed to prove his love in order to win her hand.
“I would go so far as to say that nothing that you have done for me has contributed to this. I felt it from the start.”
He thought that he saw tears in her eyes in response to his words. She spoke in hushed tones. “I have felt it from the start, as well. Oh, Jasper, I do not know what to say. The feelings that I have for you frighten me. You are a wonderful man, and I do not feel good enough for you.”
Jasper was having none of this. Not good enough for him? She was everything that he wanted in life. Breaking his promise, he reached across and took her into his arms, pressing his lips against hers. There was no guilt at first as he felt the warm softness of her lips. He was in utter rapture, feeling that familiar heat course through his entire body. The woman in his arms would be his wife. There were no two ways about it.
Catherine pulled away, and he could not help but say, “I am sorry. I said that I would not do that without your permission. I could not stop myself.”
She smiled warmly. “You had my permission without me having to utter it. Know that these encounters mean the world to me. It is just that we have a little bit of time to make sure this is what we want. That this is true. Let us take advantage of that time so that we do not act in haste. I fear that Felton is acting with too much haste in regard to Abigail. Let us not do the same!”
And here, she made a sound point. Love could not be rushed. There was still time remaining to reveal his full self to her. Just when he was about to tell her the full truth, Jasper felt a fit of coughing take hold. His brow became moist, and the world seemed to spin.
“I must be seated,” he said, trying to keep his voice as measured as possible.
“What has happened?”
“It is odd. This has not happened in some time.”
Jasper seated himself upon a log, which he did with Catherine’s aid. Once he was there, he felt her hand come to his back to calm him. “It shall be all right. We merely have more work to do.”
Jasper shook his head. “I did not want this to happen again. Perhaps, it is a fit of nerves.”
“Why a fit of nerves?”
He finally managed a smile. “Because I am in love with you, can you not see? I have essentially asked you to be my wife, and you replied that we must wait. Surely, that has made me faint.”
