Page 74 of Treating a Sinful Earl
“I was terribly jealous of you and the Earl. I still am. I am even jealous of Abigail and Felton. It feels like there is no one in the world for me whilst you two fall in love! What is to become of me? When you are both married, I shall be entirely alone.”
Pity overcame her. “That is not true, Selina. You are just as beautiful and bright. You shall find someone all your own.”
Selina removed her face from her hands. There were real tears in her eyes. “I feel wretched for what I have done. I did not mean to hurt you, but I truly was concerned about the Earl’s circumstances, and I wanted to put an end to it! Now, I see that I have mucked up our friendship in the process.”
Catherine came in close and placed a hand upon Selina’s back. “Do not say such things. You have not mucked up our friendship. I am willing to forgive you if you promise to respect my decisions when it comes to the Earl.”
The tears stopped instantly. “Decisions?”
“Yes. I would tell you all of the details but at this juncture, my trust is broken, and so I must restrain myself. Simply know that I wish to strengthen the bonds of our friendship once more, but to do so will take time. I am leaving for London this weekend, and I want to secure your blessing.”
Catherine realized that all of this was very vague, but if she told Selina the truth, there was still a chance that her friend might go behind her back in the most egregious of ways.
“I…I know not what you are speaking of, but I am rather surprised that you are going to London. You hate London.”
“Indeed.” Catherine sighed. “But it must be done. Know that I am doing what is best for myself and the Earl.”
“Are you going to find a different husband?” Selina asked in confusion.
This caused Catherine to laugh. “No, no. I shall never love another. This is all that I am able to tell you. Just give me your blessing.”
Selina managed a faint smile. “I will do so.”
Catherine embraced Selina gently, holding her wayward friend in her arms. It was a healing moment, despite the fact that their friendship was not entirely healed. Still, it was the first step. She would give Selina a chance, and if her friend proved false yet again, that would be that. Catherine wished to be surrounded by people that she could trust.
Once Selina had removed herself from Catherine’s room, she got busy with preparations for her trip. The chaperone was informed, as was Catherine’s mother. The latter of which must have found the situation suspect, for she came to Catherine’s room whilst she and her companion were packing.
“What is the meaning of this?” her mother asked.
Catherine quickly told her lady to give them some privacy, and when they were finally alone, she said, “I am going to London to see how I might feel there…and to make friends.”
Heavens, now she was lying to her own mother!
“But it seems rather odd for you to do so.”
“Life is odd, Mother,” Catherine said drolly.
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I feel as though there is something you are not telling me.”
It was the moment of truth for Catherine. Could she tell her mother about her deepest desires, or would it put her plan in jeopardy? She decided that she would slowly unveil the truth to her mother, beginning that very moment.
“There is someone…someone that I care for deeply. I need to help him. I understand that all of this seems vague, but I must venture to London in order to do so. Do you promise that you will not tell Father?”
Understanding and recognition were written on her face. “I sensed that this might be the case.” She placed her hands on Catherine’s shoulders. “I know that you are in love, Daughter. I have known for some time. If going to London will help this matter, then you have my blessing.”
Catherine was overjoyed. Her mother had really sensed this for some time? She had merely not told her because she did not wish to ruin anything between her and the Earl. Now that her mother understood a bit of the situation, Catherine already felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“Then I shall go with your blessing. Please know, the man that holds my heart…it is a very suitable match. Trust that you will know all soon.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “Then you shall go. I trust your decision.”
Although Catherine wished to linger longer, there was so much to do, and her mother quietly left the room, leaving Catherine with a tinge of regret. Why had she and her mother never been closer? Why had it been so difficult to tell her mother the truth? It was painful to think that she and her mother might never truly be close, but still, Catherine was the one responsible for finding her destiny, and she would undertake just that.
It was upon the morning of her departure for London that her parents showed a great deal of warmth, and her father expressed that he wished for Catherine to enjoy herself. If she were to tell him the truth, it would be that there might be very little enjoyment in it. What she was more concerned with, was life and death. Yes, she would save Jasper. She was confident that the apothecary could help. And what’s more, she wished to learn as much from him as she could in their brief time together.
No women ever entered his shop, but Catherine would not let this stop her.
Chapter 35
