Page 26 of A Lady's Wicked Revenge
Thank goodness for small favours, I suppose.
When the carriage lurched to a stop in front of the Leesons’ house, Diana was already rising to launch herself through the carriage door. She strode briskly to the house’s front entrance, paying no heed to the confused, half-asleep calls she heard from the carriage occupants behind her.
Mister Dull can see himself home from here,she thought, her mood having progressed from mere irritation to a black rage.I have seen through the visit to the market as ordered; I see no reason to entertain this farce a moment longer.
“Well, isn’t that a lovely picture! It’s always a pleasure to see an elegant young lady in such high spirits.”
Diana spun on her heel, seeing Colin skulking in the same shadowy room from which he had first ambushed her. She started, suddenly realising the wrathful expression she wore on her face, and this only served to amuse Colin further.
“Why, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a good temper, Miss Hann. Or as much of a temper, at least.” He smirked, walking closer to her with his finger between two pages of the book he carried in his hand. “You must have had a very nice time indeed. I can only imagine how refreshing it must be to spend the afternoon with a dull young man after listening to nothing but my fascinating prattle day after day.”
“Don’t,” Diana said, raising a finger in Colin’s face.I suffer through all your cretinous jokes about every topic in the world,she wanted to add.Don’t you dare mock me about this rotten business that I only suffer through because of your damnable stepfather.But she did not get the chance to fully give voice to this thought.
“Hullo, what have we here?” Colin regarded Gerard as he approached the front door, a wary look on his face. “That’s right, Mister Haven’t-Had-The-Pleasure, isn’t it? Or was itSirPleasure?”
Diana could not help turning to watch Gerard Dunn’s reaction to this greeting. For the first time, his face was creased with something that resembled genuine anger, albeit still coloured with the same confusion he had shown her every time she had made a joke in his presence. “Gerard Dunn,” he said simply, giving Colin a stiff bow. “And I am to understand you are Sir James Leeson’s half-son, then?”
“Stepson,” Diana corrected quietly.What in the world is a ‘half-son’?
“I’ve been called far worse, I confess,” said Colin, ambling over to look Gerard Dunn up and down carefully. “If you’re wondering, the difference is that unlike a bastard—or ‘half-son,’as you say—whose very presence is a matter of scandal, a stepson needs to actually do something fractious to provoke a fight in his household.” He gave Diana a roguish wink. “Which explains why I try so very hard to be so pleasant all the time, I suppose.”
Diana grunted and rolled her eyes, stifling the laughter that bloomed in her breast. She pushed to move past Colin towards the stairs, knowing that if she did not immediately remove herself from the situation, she would be drawn into another endless quarrel with Colin. And even if this would be enjoyable, she was too angry with him, with Gerard Dunn, with Uncle James to surrender her foul mood so easily.
“Ah, I see you’ve acquired some more shiny objects with which to build your nest.” Diana followed Colin’s eye to the cluster of peacock feathers poking out from under her arm beside her unused parasol.Mister Dull must have purchased them and tucked them in with my things without my noticing,she thought with a scowl, an expression that only served to tickle Colin even more. Missus Fessler excused herself, coughing to disguise the laughter that shook her stout form.
“Well done, Miss Hann, an excellent purchase.” He laughed into his hand. “I have no doubt you’ll soon attract yourself a handsome mate in no time at all. A robin, perhaps, or some other similarly bird-witted thing?”
“Why should I need to make the effort when clearly I already cannot keep such creatures away?” Diana quipped. She felt her face grow warm with embarrassment—now she was insulting Gerard Dunn right in front of his face!Damn this Colin Mullens; he simply brings out my worst impulses every time I see him!
Fortunately, Gerard Dunn did not seem to appreciate the implications of Diana’s words. “I, ah … these were a gift. For Miss Hann,” he said sternly to Colin, holding his shoulders aloft in what seemed intended as an intimidating posture.
Colin barely glanced in Dunn’s direction long enough to arch an eyebrow before returning eagerly to his banter with Diana. “I’ve just an idea: a talking parrot!” he crowed, snapping his fingers. “I often saw such things in my travels in Spain, you know. Most entertaining, those parrots. They can be trained to say three or four phrases, at which point further training is impossible, and the birds can’t be shut up for love or money. The same effect as a husband, really, with only slightly more mess.”
“As if there really needs to be any more talking going on in my company.” Diana smiled, feeling herself slide comfortably back into the rhythm of battle. “A week with me, and I’ll talk any avian husband back into the jungle, if not the grave.”
Colin nodded sagely. “Ah, that’s true, I suppose. Though unlike a human swain, a parrot can be used to make yourself a nice hat when you’re finished with it.”
“Miss Hann, are you—” Gerard began to say, leaning between the duelling couple.
But by now, Diana had been drawn entirely into the battle. “Why should I have any need of a parrot when I cannot seem to rid myself of this mockingbird?” she asked, arms akimbo and scowling furiously at Colin. “His song may be sweet, but it does grate on the nerves after eight or ten hours.”
“Mockingbird?” Colin looked around in mock confusion. “All I see is an overstuffed chicken.”
“You might want to try looking in the mirror, Mister Mullens. Though you may not like what you see there, it’s no prize foul; I can tell you that.”
“To think, wasting all this time with chickens when you would be better appreciated by a cockerel.”
“Oh, a proud, strutting cockerel? A bird so in love with his own appearance that he does little but preen and complain all day?” Diana laughed. “Yes, I can see why you might have some affection for such a creature.”
Colin burst into self-conscious laughter at this last remark—Diana had landed a blow on him at last. Feeling herself grow warm with pride, she glanced over to Gerard Dunn, who was continuing to stare at them with a look of blank, distressed confusion on his face. He was frozen like a statue, eyes wide, looking afraid to breathe.
It’s cruel to let him continue to suffer like this,protested Diana’s good sense. And for once, she heeded this counsel.
“Thank you for a lovely afternoon jaunt. Good day, Mister Dunn,” she said, curtseying politely. She turned to Colin and repeated the gesture. “Mister Mullens.” And before she could be drawn into any other outrageous behaviour, she ascended the stairs, feeling two sets of eyes watching her intently as she disappeared from their view.
Chapter 12
The Man Beneath the Mask
